[justfloating]

Irritable.
Exhausted.
Feel like crying.
Feel like screaming.
Helping my friend through a crisis even though I barely managed to drive home today because I was so tired. Will probably be super tired tomorrow too. The depression's kicked in, I need the extra sleep and I hate myself for thinking about that right now, when someone needs me.

Three days left of my work week. I'm the only person I know working Canada Day -- including on the staff at work. I don't even care that I get STAT pay, I'm just annoyed that I have to work at all while the rest of the country is off celebrating.

I want to cry. I feel like there's a balloon in my chest being blown up, and it keeps expanding and expanding, and pretty soon it's going to burst. Why is everything so messed up?

[idontknow13]

((((((justfloating)))))

[Elspeth]

((((((((justfloating)))))))))

I'm so sorry you feel like this. I want to give you a big giant bear hug that, if only for a moment, makes you feel like you have nothing to worry about and all you exhaustion melts away.

You are doing something very special for whoever you are helping. I'm sure they appreciate it.

Thinking of you, Elspeth

[Am I crazy?]

Hi Rebecca,

Sorry to hear you are having a down - I hope tommorrow is better for you. Having to work sux sometimes - you are not alone!

Lisa
P.S How did you exams go by the way?

[Amazonmom]

Grrr, I understand having to work when the whole rest of the country is off having a party...feeling separate like that doesn't help depression at all.

Try to get some sleep soon...I know your friend needs you but just try to sneak in some zzzzzzzzzzzz.

[Berries]

(((((((((((justfloating)))))))))))

HANG IN THERE, JF!!! And remember self-care is your first priority. It's OK to take care of yourself first. Really.

[Rohag]

Strength and sleep, and more sleep (in bed, not behind the wheel) to you!

[googley]

((((((justfloating)))))
I'm sorry your going through a tough time. It sucks to have to work on a holiday everyone else gets off. I hope you don't have to work too hard.

[justfloating]

(((((everyone)))))))

Thanks so much for your support, I really appreciate it.

I finally made a doctor's appointment (it's sad that my depression actually makes me put off things like making the appointments I need to get treated) for Monday. It can't come soon enough. I have no idea how I'm going to make it through the next four days. I just want to collapse. Meds and therapy did it for me last time... hopefully getting my meds adjusted and a referral to a therapist will help me again.

I hate feeling like this. I want to go back to feeling good.

[Amazonmom]

You can get back to feeling good....just hang on.

[Berries]

(((((((((((justfloating)))))))))))

Hang in & hold on

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by justfloating

...(it's sad that my depression actually makes me put off things like making the appointments I need to get treated)...

Isn't that the truth!

[leahcim]

Hi Rebecca. I am new to this site, but have been in therapy on and off for 20 some years and have been to other sites where this issue has come up. I know of two instances recently where the person providing the support suffered terribly by trying to help a dear friend for hours on end well into the early morning hours. Both (of the supporters) eventually had to get some sleep and were left feeling guilty about not staying up with the individual for as long as required which could have been more than 36 hours.

Both were left feeling guilty, exhausted and depressed. Both are of superhuman energetic material and they suffered for it. Please do not feel in any way guilty or depressed for not continuing, ad infinitum, to help the other party. We must take care of ourselves eventually to funtion in our own lives, and to be able to help later on if needed. Please do not beat yourself up about this. The other party will eventually realize that they got more than what anyone could give.

I hope that your friend realizes the extent to which you gave of yourself and you are an angel for providing what you could.

Take care of yourself...Peace

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((( justfloating ))))))))))))))))))

[Berries]

(((((((((((justfloating)))))))))))

How are you doing now? How is your friend? Have you been able to take care of yourself?

[justfloating]

I'm sort of all over the map mood-wise. I've taken lots of extra hours at work mostly because it keeps me out of the house and away from my family stress, and I spend the majority of my work day alone so it leaves me a little space to think. Right now nights are bad. I can be feeling fine all day and it's like I'm hit with a ton of bricks after 8 or so, it's really weird. I think what I really need is to go back to therapy, it's just a matter of waiting because I can't get an appointment until the end of the month...

My friend is doing all right now, thanks. She's working through some stuff right now. We went to see a movie to distract ourselves tonight.

[Berries]

Originally Posted by justfloating

I'm sort of all over the map mood-wise.

(((((((((((justfloating)))))))))))

I understand mood swings all too well.

PS Glad your friend is better.