[justfloating]

Has anyone had to tell someone close to them that they are aggravating your depression? How did they take it? My family keeps making things worse but I don't know how to explain that to them without them getting defensive or angry, without us having a huge fight that will basically end on their terms because everything always does anyway, or without me feeling incredibly guilty for saying anything in the first place. I'm terrified of my parents' disapproval, always have been. Besides that, I'm not sure I'll be able to make them listen to me at all.

How do I phrase this? How do I approach them without coming across as a b**** or being melodramatic? Or should I just keep my mouth shut altogether? After all, it's not like I have any place else to go right now, and I will only be here for a few more months before I go back to school.

Advice? Suggestions? Maybe just some hugs?

[Elysium]

(((((Just Floating)))))

I doubt what I have to say is going to make you feel any better right now!

I am experiencing some similar issues with my Mother and my family right now. I am at my wits end. If I try and explain things in a way they will understand I get the response of "well....you just have an excuse, or an answer, for everything...don't you?", or some BS like this.

I think, sometimes, it doesn't matter how you say it; whether you say it with love and respect, candy coat it, or just come right out and lay it on them. Sometimes it just doesn't matter and they are going to take it poorly because that is how they choose to take it. Taking it well would require them to acknowledge your illness and take accountability for a piece of it at the same time. Some folks just aren't willing to do this. Even if they are the ones that supposedly love us and want the best for us.

Sometimes it has nothing to do with you!!!

Take care of yourself!!

[darkpurplesecrets]

(((((justfloating)))))

I can relate and I know it is hard. I had to end up leaving and changing my phone number so that family could not contact me. Sometimes we have to take care of ourselves as no one else is going to do it. I agree that family does not take any responsibility for how we feel. There is fault throwing and blaming on you that does not belong there.

I am sorry that you are going through this. It is not all you. I hear you say that you cannot leave there for a few more months. I hope you will take care of yourself. Take one day--one moment at a time. Remember to breath. And do something kind for you. Do some things that you like to do and maybe that will help you.

It is true that we cannot make anyone listen to us--and so many times it ends up in fighting and blame throwing. That is hard and does not help you in any way. Whether to say anything or not is really up to you. If you feel it will not do any good or will only make you feel worse then maybe it would be best to not put yourself through that right now.

Just remember there is nothing wrong with you. You are and have the right to feel the way you do. Just take care of yourself and breath. We cannot change others but we can control what we do and say. Do something kind for yourself and know we are listening and care here.

dps

[idontknow13]

((((justfloating)))))

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((( Justfloating ))))))))))))))))))

[Rohag]

Justfloating, both Elysium3006 and Darkpurplesecrets make excellent points. Taking into account your personality and those of your parents, what chance of success would any type of approach to your family have? Could you expect any form of relief from a confrontation, even the most diplomatic one?

I guess you could call this a "better living through probability and statistics" question.

[Naturefreak]

(((justfloating)))

Hoping things get much better for you .

[turquoisesea]

I guess with me, I came to a very similar situation but got lucky. I have been at my job a lot, and the situation has improved somewhat. I did talk to my mother a bit about it. Rather than discussing the person aspect - "YOU DRIVE ME NUTS" - I approached it from a more practical standpoint. for you , maybe something like "I need my own space, and if I don't have it it worsens my depression", or "If I am forced to do something I"m not comfortable with it worsens my depression because I feel like I'm useless (the driving incident?)...

with me it was "I need a room so that I can practice. I CAN'T do that in the room you laid out for me"... that kind of thing

good luck
let me know what happens

[Amazonmom]

I will offer hugs. Wish I had the right advice for you...

[Elspeth]

I offer hugs too

Maybe, do they do somethings that don't aggravate your depression? Could you start with saying the things that they do that you like? And then explain that there are some things that aren't helping?

I'm not really sure if that's good advice, but its another idea.

Elspeth

[scotlandskye]

((((justfloating))))