So sad, so many problems....

I'm trying so hard to just make it through the day, but it just seems so d@*^ impossible sometimes.

I tried reading a bunch of posts, but it's like nothing is making any sense. I couldn't follow what anybody was saying. Does anyone else have this problem? It's like it's just a bunch of words on a page all in random order. It doesn't help when (like many of us do), the writers just ramble on and on, with no punctuation and no capitalization, etc. I know it's stupid, b/c that's what email and online forums are about -- you shouldn't have to worry about being grammatically correct. But I just feel like I'm going crazy b/c I can't comprehend anything!!!! There are so many posts, and I don't know where to begin.



I have so much I need to do, and I haven't been able to do anything for days. Really, I have BiPolar, but hardly anyone uses that board (not compared to this one, anyway). And right now I'm just feeling depressed anyway, so this is maybe what I need.



I've been trying to deal with this for 15+ years, and it just seems like it never gets better -- at least not for long. It's just so painful right now.

There are so many things bothering me...
* My parents try to help, but I just get frustrated with them.
* I can barely make it out of bed, and to make it out of the house is d@&^ near impossible.
* I constantly feel like others are critical of me -- and that's probably not true, but I just can't tell.
* I have one friend, but am really upset with him right now, so it's like I have no friends.
* I'm on tons of meds & I'm sick of taking them, and it doesn't seem like they're doing anything anyway.
* I used to depend on my manic swings to get things done and be productive, but somehow the meds seem to have gotten rid of manic swings & made the depression seem worse.
* Nothing is appealing: I don't want to eat, I don't want to read, I don't want to take a bath, I don't want to take a nap, I don't want to go outside (even though it's beautiful), I don't want to write, I don't want to knit...you get the idea.
* I get so irritable, so angry at everything that happens. I just can't handle this anymore!

Thanks for listening, everyone. I know many of you feel the same way, and I know there's probably nothing you can do to help, but it helps to vent sometimes. Thanks again.

((((((((((((((((DEBI)))))))))))))

I know what you mean. There are times I can not read posts, magazines, books etc because its like a bunch of jumbled words that make no sense.
You need sometime to relax and rest. Put on a soothing CD and close your eyes. I know you said you didnt want to nap and you dont have too. The CD might help clear your mind a bit so you can relax.
Take care. ******hugs*****

((((((((((Debi, from the heart )))))))))))

I DO know how you feel; I am NOT BiPolar...but I think I've been diagnosed w/ everything else under the sun. Besides, at the beginning of my therapy (back in the 80's when Medicare let you stay inpatient for months...no longer exists) I spent my days for 10 months w. ppl who were BiPolar & they became dear friends & we all shared each other troubles...another thing that does not seem to exist either. at least..NOT WITH TRUE gill sans FEELING!!!!!! I can REALLY relate to BPD!

Your list of "problems" I went through for years, SERIOUSLY!
I lived in a tiny apartment w/ my soul mate. Our futon broke so it was like the "living room" was the TV & the open futon....I didn't move for days! I didn't answer the phone, I only ate when my soul mate would bring me a pint of Ben & Jerry's; I felt like my friends from the hospital decided to "vote" me out of their lives The one who didn't decided to use me as her extra "counselor" = she sucked every living breath of emotion out of me daily. I laid there for days, sometimes weeks. I was waiting for my "upswing" to come b/c it was my favorite season...spring! I knew I belonged OUT THERE!!! But it was just a big black sinking hole there w/ the TV 24/7. I started signing contracts! w/ my PsychDoc to sit outside on the front porch & smoke one cigarette once a day...... BUT, it was a start......

ANYWHO, I have learned IF you have a problem & you want to post here (and under the circumstances, you belong in this forum!) You have to YELL LOUDLY & ask for SUGGESTIONS!!!! Otherwise, you will get the plain ole' "hang in there" (Personally, every time I hear that phrase I want to rip that persons' vocal chords out & feed them back w/ a silver spoon! ) If someone gives the "PM me"....DO IT! ...see how true to their word they are!! If you get the ole "((hugs))...FORGET THEM! Look elsewhere!

Hey, dare ya! PM me! I'm a little strange, but from being on both sides of the psych desk; I have a very unique "take" on things......... "You're it!"

(((((((((((( DAYZEE9))))))))))))))))

hi sweetie...i'm sorry that you're having such a hard time right now. i know those feelings about not doing ANYTHING....when i get like that i either sleep or play music and totally detach from everything....i hope you're feeling better now.....keep posting. don't worry about the posts and the confusion...remember, some way or the other, we're all nuts...

Okay, so p.m. me and don't hang in there as it's such a cliche

Hi Debi -- I feel like I'm coming out of about 2 years in the place you describe. Still having trouble getting out into the beautiful weather. But I'm starting to consider it, so I guess that's good.

I used to be able to read a book in a day, now I'm lucky if I can manage a whole chapter.

I hope you find some peace and a few people here to be your friends, supporters, and sounding boards.