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  #1  
Old Jul 22, 2009, 02:43 AM
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perhapsbelligerent perhapsbelligerent is offline
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Member Since: May 2009
Posts: 43
alot of dark thoughts have been swirling in my head lately...

i cant help but to keep getting reminded that im all alone in this world now. my family is dead, and now it's just me. i'll go to bed at night and dream im with my parents, and then wake up and slowly be reminded that their dead, and i have no one to call.

i cant really think of more than 2 people who would go to my funeral. actually, im lying, i cant even think of one.

i feel like a parasite.

cant help but to think all i do is work, and sadly working is really doing nothing i want to contribute to the world. i sell porn and sandwhiches... just helping people isolate more and get fat.

god i hate these little reality checks.

i'll be doing fine, and then these little thoughts just creep back up on me. it's like a circle. i'll work through these, and then i'll be back.

i miss being doped up.
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Sometimes the lights all shinin on in, other times I can barely see, lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip its been.

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  #2  
Old Jul 22, 2009, 02:55 AM
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ExiExi ExiExi is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2008
Location: wrong planet
Posts: 518
((((((perhapsbelligerent)))))))
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Where, where I go - My spirit is free, I'm coming home
Where, where I go - Remember me but let me go
/Lacuna Coil
  #3  
Old Jul 22, 2009, 03:08 AM
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keepinghopeful keepinghopeful is offline
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((((((perhapsbelligerent)))))))
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When you feel like giving up.....Remember why you held on for so long in the first place."
---Author Unknown
  #4  
Old Jul 22, 2009, 09:52 AM
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idontknow13 idontknow13 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: Canada
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(((((perhapsbelligerent)))))
  #5  
Old Jul 22, 2009, 11:22 AM
zipzoolian zipzoolian is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2009
Posts: 11
perhapsbelligerent:

>i'll be doing fine, and then these little thoughts just creep back up on me. it's like a >circle. i'll work through these, and then i'll be back

I know that situation all too well. I have been having a constant battle with these negative thoughts. I posted a message about that in these forums and was given some very good suggestions.

Its like a constant group of thoughts, pushing each other around up there, fighting for center stage. The fight continues because one thought never gets center stage for very long.

I am working on this because I am tired of it. I want to be able to control my thoughts - after all, it is MY brain!

Hang in there. While you have a job, why not look around and see if there's anything else out there you can do. I know its a tough economy now, but perhaps you can find something while you're still at this job. AND - best of all, you can be choosy since you are still working!
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  #6  
Old Jul 23, 2009, 11:03 AM
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turquoisesea turquoisesea is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 9,092
gentle hugs....
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those little thoughts...

Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.

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