[JayS]

Remember, this is only how I "feel" right now....

The cold sensation of my teeth clenched around a gun barrel and the warm, salty taste of my own tears....

[depressedalaskan]

Call someone to help you right now...... You really should not be alone. I have been where you are, call someone please.

[Elysium]

Jay.....

I hope you are coping well. I am glad that you seem to realize that a feeling is a feeling and it can't hurt you unless you react to it.

I am sorry you are having these feelings tonight. Try not to judge them as good or bad...just feel them and let them roll on if you can. There are reasons you feel this way and you deserve to validate those reasons.

Just please take good care...and yes, if you feel your feelings are at any point going to lead into action, call someone....call your T (if you have one), call 911 and get somewhere safe for you.

I'm here if you need to talk.

[Sannah]

[Rachie]

[kebsfroggy]

The cold sensation of my teeth clenched around a gun barrel and the warm, salty taste of my own tears....

It is not wrong to feel this way. Our feelings are a natural part of us, good or bad. They are part of what makes us who we are and they are not always butterflies and rainbows.

When those thoughts cause us to take actions which would harm ourselves or others then it is time to seek help immediately.
Call 911,
Call your therapist
Go to closest hospital emergency room



Take care of your self

kebs

[turquoisesea]

Please take care of yourself... the feelings are lying to you...

[JayS]

I'm sorry for my post everyone, I know I shouldn't have said anything about it.... I'm just at the very bottom now, and it's even harder to fight because I have very easy access to them.... I'm just sick of my life, I'm not worth anything and I am nothing but a pile of S*** to everyone.... I try my best to be seen and kiss every ones ***** and I'll I get back is being ignored.

[Rohag]

JayS!

I'm so glad you used whatever energy you had to post your thoughts instead of acting on them. Seek help and seek us - we're here to be sought.

May peace drown your torment!

[Fuzzybear]

JayS

if we feel like we give and give and are still ignored it really hurts, i dont do the **** kissing myself

we won't ignore you here

love to you

[kebsfroggy]

Like Rohag said we are glad you used your energy to post rather act upon your feelings.



Keep posting

kebs

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by kebsfroggy

Like Rohag said we are glad you used your energy to post rather act upon your feelings.



Keep posting

kebs

[JayS]

Originally Posted by Rohag

JayS!

I'm so glad you used whatever energy you had to post your thoughts instead of acting on them. Seek help and seek us - we're here to be sought.

May peace drown your torment!

I've been trying to get help... I have a psychiatric assessment in three months, I've been trying to get it sooner but they won't let me... because they don't care I bet, they're all the same.

[Berries]

(((((((((((JayS)))))))))))



It's ok with me, what you wrote. Feelings and images that pop in our brains can be distressing and disturbing. But feelings do not equal facts. Remember that if you can.

[turquoisesea]

Originally Posted by JayS

I've been trying to get help... I have a psychiatric assessment in three months, I've been trying to get it sooner but they won't let me... because they don't care I bet, they're all the same.

try not to take this personally - unfortunately just like other people, psychiatric professionals only have so much time in their day. First come first serve... the way we can feel sometimes, the care we NEED and maybe SHOULD be provided sometimes just is impossible for a business to provide :/
That does NOT mean they don't care.

Hang in there

[ExiExi]

Originally Posted by JayS

I'm sorry for my post everyone, I know I shouldn't have said anything about it.... I'm just at the very bottom now, and it's even harder to fight because I have very easy access to them.... I'm just sick of my life, I'm not worth anything and I am nothing but a pile of S*** to everyone.... I try my best to be seen and kiss every ones ***** and I'll I get back is being ignored.

((((((((JayS)))))))))
I'm so glad you're here. I know how it feels.. I'm sorry.
I just hope you will take good care of yourself. Please do, JayS. Please.

[JayS]

Originally Posted by turquoisesea

try not to take this personally - unfortunately just like other people, psychiatric professionals only have so much time in their day. First come first serve... the way we can feel sometimes, the care we NEED and maybe SHOULD be provided sometimes just is impossible for a business to provide :/
That does NOT mean they don't care.

Hang in there

I'm not to taking anything personally... it's true, no one cares about people with mental illness... all we have is each other.

All "normal people" would rather just put us all on an island and forget about us... they don't care and never did care, they just want us out of there hair so I would be doing them a favor... everyone hates me and I hate myself so what does it matter anyway.

[kebsfroggy]

Originally Posted by JayS

I'm not to taking anything personally... it's true, no one cares about people with mental illness... all we have is each other.

All "normal people" would rather just put us all on an island and forget about us... they don't care and never did care, they just want us out of there hair so I would be doing them a favor... everyone hates me and I hate myself so what does it matter anyway.

Agree with you in some ways. People in general don't consider mental illness as a serious illness. The quantity of health care professionals (primarily psychiatrists and psychologists) are usually clustered in certain geographical areas. The results are mediocre mental health care for most of the population.

Your health system is different from ours. When seriously in need of help I can walk into an emergency center and will see a physician before I leave. However that doesn't necessarily mean I won't have to wait but not weeks to be evaluated.

All this frog of little brain can recommend is that you keep posting and we will keep posting until you get the evaluation. Hope that works.

kebs

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( JayS ))))))))))))

I don't hate you

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by JayS

I have a psychiatric assessment in three months,

Good grief. Each bureaucracy and its own inefficiencies...

Well, the last I heard, there's no waiting (or very little) to consult with Drs. Fuzzybear, Kebsfroggy, ExiExi, Turquoisesea, Berries, Depressedalaskan, Elysium3006, Sannah, Rachie, and a whole bunch of others. Not only are they willing to meet you now, they want to.

[xxWant2Escapexx]

Originally Posted by JayS

I'm not to taking anything personally... it's true, no one cares about people with mental illness... all we have is each other.

All "normal people" would rather just put us all on an island and forget about us... they don't care and never did care, they just want us out of there hair so I would be doing them a favor... everyone hates me and I hate myself so what does it matter anyway.

I dont hate you either........and i hope you are feeling somewhat better today.
Take care of yourself.......lots of hugs to you

[susan888]

Jay, I am sending you all the positive thoughts and strength that I have!!! I have been where you are before and it's a scary place. The important think to remember is that even if you think about it and have the means to do it...You haven't done it. Sometimes we just have to tell ourselves that we will hold on for one more hour, one more day, one more week. You have become very important to me and I care about you. Sweetie, If I could find the right words to take away your pain I would. Susan

[Elysium]

Originally Posted by JayS

I'm not to taking anything personally... it's true, no one cares about people with mental illness... all we have is each other.

All "normal people" would rather just put us all on an island and forget about us... they don't care and never did care, they just want us out of there hair so I would be doing them a favor... everyone hates me and I hate myself so what does it matter anyway.

WOW!!!!

Our own island....!!! Just for us...? Away from all the so called "Normal" people....thrust into a community of people who can actually empathize with other's pain....less stigma.....cheaper gas probabaly....

I don't know JayS...you may be on to something. Kind of makes me want to pack my bags and go. I don't know if I want to be normal like them anymore!!!

It seems to me sometimes that there is no "Normal", just invalidation and denial.....

....but I could sure go for a tropical PC Island!!!! Hmmmm....where's Doc John today???

Take care!!!

[Naturefreak]

Sorry , I'm late Jay I wasn't having the greatest day myself .
The only thing I have to say is to take the advice of the others here.
They are only trying to help you . Here are some hugs for you .

Jay
Not that I'm one to talk but, feel the feelings but please don't act on them. To be ignored is a type of soul death that is hard to recover from; a gunshot is also quite difficult to recover from. You would be missed.