I'm worth..

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it kills me, i can't do it anymore

Oh, I am so sorry you are struggling like this. Is there someone you can reach out to?
(((ExiExi)))

I adopted a phrase for daily life, "I CAN do this!" And, you can too!!

It isn't easy some days. I can personally attest to this and I have been doing it for over 45 years.

Could it be that you need a meds change? Or a doc change?

Hugs.jpg

awww, exi exi... would love to hear what you had to say, even if its very negative. Here to talk when you're ready.

(((ExiExi)))
Lost for words , but I'm sending you hugs.
Take care and I hope you feel better soon.

((((((((((((((( ExiExi )))))))))))))))))

I'd like to echo Turquoisesea's sentiment. Whatever you have to say - long, short, good, bad - is important to us.

"I'm worth ....

IT !!!! You're right! I agree!!!

You are it! There is nothing in this world more important, more precious, more perfect than you. You are all that you will ever need. You have within you the ability to create all that you desire to, to have, and to experience. You have the power and are powerful.

Much Love,
Holmes

((((((((( ExiExi )))))))))))

Here. If you wanna talk. I'm listening. You are worth it.

((((((((( ExiExi ))))))))))) We are here for you .

Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate your replies. I hope they help.. but more likely I'm wasting everyone's time again.

No, unfortunately there isn't.

In fact, I've tried to talk to someone many times.. It was pretty long time ago. My parents didn't get me - they just said I wasn't depressed and to stop being a crybaby. I went to therapist with my SO who then started seeing someone else and never called me again (was T's advice btw). Then I lost two friends trying to reach out to them and two more thought I was all negative and weird. Now that I avoid driving they don't really want to see or hear me. I was everyone's free taxi cab and rollercoaster. Co-workers.. some of them are nice to me but my boss thinks depressed people are dangerous. I heard him saying really bad stuff about person with mental problems. Stigma is still very strong here.. I hate this ****d up place.

I'm not on meds or in therapy - terrified of local docs and hospitals. But I understand that I would benefit from therapy and antidepressants.. just as from euthanasia or brain transplant.

this next part can trigger (SI)
I'm not asking for advice - they are just thoughts.

I used to cut, burn, pierce etc. at younger age. I'm worn out, losing hope. Urges came back suddenly. Can't stop but think that it would actually help, although it's clearly a trap.. on second thought, everything is. If everything goes swimmingly, I might even get it over with.. and stop being a burden.
There is also a chance that someone will notice and help me. Very original. Right.

I've considered the euthanasia and brain/body transplant, but they're not covered by my insurance.

Exi, you are no waste of my time. My posts may lack value or be of no help, but that reflects my inadequacy, not your lack of worth.

You raise a very serious question. When someone, due to lack of resources or disinclination, has "no one to turn to," to whom can they turn? A religious/spiritual person might immediately suggest God or clergy. But, if you're a secular type or are the victim of religious abuse, you may prefer a more tangible and less-doctrinaire resource.

I wish I had the answer to the question. At least I have the question.

Be safe. Be well. Keep posting.

((((((ExiExi))))) I see and understand how you feel. I myself went in for help to a state run out patient clinic. When depression hit me the hardest ever I had a friend of a friend who worked for this place and they got me to go in. I didn't even know at the time that this place existed. I only know that with out my friend's help I most likely would not be here today. I think that it would be a good idea for you to see your local doctor. I know that your first steps through the door are going to be hard but you have to look after yourself. Your doctor should be able to help you with medications and a therapist. Good luck and please take care of yourself. Hugs for your day..

Please don't say that. Your posts are of great help, Rohag! Thank you

It's all my fault - I push people away and choose to be worthless. I'm an idiot