[oksomaybeimnuts]

I don't know whether i should be posting this here or in the grief forum but since i am depressed i will put it here. tomorrow will be the one year anniversary of my favorite sisters death. while it was not totally unexpected- she had been ill for quite a long time- first her kidneys failed and she was on dialysis, then she had to undergo open heart surgery to have her mitral valve replaced and then she developed alot of breathing problems and had to always use oxygen. but through it all she held on saying that she planned on staying around. she lived 8 hours from me and whenever a crisis occurred i would jump in the car and be with her as quick as i could.i spent her first dialysis treatment with her, i spent four days there when she had her heart surgery, i would just drive up and surprise her for no particular reason. we talked on the phone all the time. she was my best friend. i have two other sisters but we don't seem to have the same connection. i talked with her on the phone the day before she died and she sounded better than i had heard her sound in so long. so it really came as a shock the next day when the call came. she was all alone and apparently a blood clot went to her brain. the coroner said she died instantly. no pain thank God. i miss her more than i can put into words. we had just lost our mother seven months before. alot of loss to handle in a short time. so if you will all think about me tomorrow i would appreciate it because i will need all the good thoughts i can get. thanks you are all very special people.

[Kathyanita]

I will think about you starting from now on. Im so inadequately sorry- there are no words in the vocabulary to say how that feels for you i know.

[oksomaybeimnuts]

thank you for your kind words kathyanita

I'm lighting a candle in the park for your sister tonight. I'll build a little altar and put a white candle in it for your sister and then a red one for your mother.......xoxoxo pat

[silver_queen]

I'm so sorry to hear of your losses ... I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

[dayzee9]

((((((((((( oksomaybimnuts, babe))))))))))))))))

I had no idea about the anniversary of thedeath of your sister! It makes me think of my petty "vacation issue"SOOO..a.speck of dust in your eye (which you don't need! Yeesh!
If it's any comfort (and I'm NOT SURE WHY it would be any comfort....but my "bad postings" were made when I was up until sunrise/sleep deprivation...why? The 20th of this month is the 1 year anniversary of my brother's death. And even thought I have lived through my favorites brothers
suicide when I was 14; he was 18; blew himself away 3 days B4 Xmas. This brother, John...was slowly dying anyhow...he died from complications of his first suicide attempt (shotgun to the chest) his lungs were still perforated & when he lay down for a nap...he never woke up. But his liver & pancreas were...gone...and he wouldn't quit drinking. As a nurse, I guess I always knew it was sjust a matter of time, but I chose not to think about it until that late night phone call brought me to my knees. SO, I've been drinking on/off since he died....especially lately. #1 reason for my "unsupportive comments" Hey girl, how do YOU deal w/ the first aniversary???
I'll keep my eyes open tomorrow, if you need to PM??? Just want you to know.......I'm here, babe!

All my Love, DAYZEE................