[omaradib]

Recently I am facing the problem of depression. Last three weeks, I have been worked hard on my research. having progress. But, this holiday, I am finding myself so depressed.

It looks like, I have lot of other stuff to do. Some of them are some job to be done for my wife (paper-works, job, companion in travel), others are getting some home stuff done (mostly cleaning, my wife do it a lot and I really should help her a bit, but I find it very hard to contribute even a little) and doing some of my own paper-works done.

I don't need any extra motivation or effort to do my research. But, I need a lot for the rest of the things I have mention above. And I feel I am lacking them.

These are causing problems, I have many of my essential works undone. My wife is becoming worried about me. Sometimes she feels unhappy to see me depressed, distressed and unhappy.

I also lost my sexual desire that I had a lot in the past. And these are causing more worries, more unhappiness.

I also do not feel meeting or talking people or socialize. I am aloof from other people. Don't have virtually any friend. Only colleague who might never want to invite me in their home. Some neighbors invite us, but mostly because of my wife and I don't like to mix with them.

I know these are not normal. But, I cannot get around these problems. The most problematic thing about socialization is that, I feel these involve artificiality and I have a belief that I am very pure and I cannot withstand artificiality.

And the problem with not getting my essential works done is that, I don't find strong motivation for them. Or, when I think about one, I start to think about others. Because there are so many things to get done. And, it feels like although these things are essential (like paper-works) for living, but these are extremely joyless and feels like labor.

So, I don't find any motivation to get them done.

I hope to hear from this community.

[bipolar_bear]

Welcome to PC. Sometimes when feeling depressed things just seem to be so overwhelming. Even things we like to do, let alone those that we don't enjoy, are hard to get done. Can you make a prioritized list and alternate between pleasurable activities and then one that isn't as fun. Or take a break after getting a particularly hard one done.

I am sorry you are struggling so much. Know you are not alone.

BB

[omaradib]

Thanks bipolar_bear.

Deciding to do research (pleasant works) 5 days and unpleasant works 2 days (weekends) was a bad idea.

I liked your idea. Now I am deciding to take rest almost all of the weekend. And, do all the works for 5 days by alternating between different activities.

thanks.

[Rohag]

Greetings, Omaradib!

All of the symptoms you mention are characteristic of depression. You mention "three weeks," buy have you felt this way longer?

My own depression has lasted for years, and I've not yet been able to overcome it. But not all people who suffer from depression are so "depressed" all the time. Therapy, techniques, possibly medications may help you be productive despite the depression and may even overcome it. I wish that for you.

If you are just learning about depression, PsychCentral has an excellent Depression Section with links to many articles and other resources. Of course, you can pick up a lot of good ideas just reading around the forums, too.

Respectful Regards to you!

[omaradib]

Thanks Rohag. Interesting. Although, I did not understand what did you try to mean by pointing "three weeks". Kind of depression I had yesterday felt like a depression of years .

Today I have paused my life and taking complete no work rest. It feels better. I am being able to see the parts of my life that was absent, probably long before last three weeks. Last three weeks were just the extremes of them.

Still, it feels like the shock can come back anytime. I am interested in curing the depression. I believe as long as I am not clinically ill, I should try to avoid therapy and medication and try self help. Try to discover the methodology to recover from depression.

One important fact about my depression is that, I can model it in terms of reward punishment system. I am only finding my work to be rewarding. Anything else, socialization, paper-works, home cleaning seems punishing to me. So, I am trying to avoid them. As, they are becoming inevitable and I am trying to avoid them more, I have fall in the depression.

The only way out I can find is to make those painful jobs either rewarding or not dong them more punishing. I would rather reward them. I did not never understand the usefulness or the charm of those activities from the childhood. Today, I am paying for them. I have to get amusement by just living the ordinary part of life.

It probably does not come forcefully. So, I will wait.

I liked bipolar_bear's idea of keeping a priority list for those unpleasant works and switch them with my pleasurable works from time to time. And, then take one or two days of complete rest in the weekend. This will probably temporarily save me for a while.

The open question remains: "How to make mundane jobs pleasurable?"

For many people, that is the life. That is the normal state. So, it can be rephrased as: "Awakening the natural reward system."

[lost4words]

Amazing, You just described ME. I feel exactly the same way, I can't motivate myself to do anything and I sleep so much that it makes me sick. I don't know if your a person that likes the outdoors but It helps to just sit outside in the fresh air for a while. I read a helpful though somewhere that helped me maybe it will help you..
it read to start small and things will come together. or something of that sort. I took from it to do a little bit of the work or things that you want to get done and it eventually you'll find that it gets finished. Getting motivated to start them is hard because we think of the entire project and think its too mch to handle right now. Just think of a small part to complete and hopefully it will get you going...

[Rohag]

It is a wise thing to pause one's life and consider it carefully.

Originally Posted by Omaradib

I am being able to see the parts of my life that was absent, probably long before last three weeks. Last three weeks were just the extremes of them.

Now I understand. During the past three weeks you have been going through a time of deeper depression. The depression was there before, but it was not as severe.

Originally Posted by Omaradib

I believe as long as I am not clinically ill, I should try to avoid therapy and medication and try self help.

You seem to have an excellent sense of yourself and your condition. I agree it would be best to avoid a formal diagnosis with doctors and medication and all the bureaucracy that accompanies them as long as you safely can. Apart from this forum, you might be able to take advantage of informal counseling as well - if you feel you would benefit from it.

I wish you the best of success in dealing with the mundane jobs and with all things!

[Tonny]

Welcome Omaradib!

Depression can come in all shapes and sizes. Keep posting and sharing, this has helped me. And I agree with Rohag that some informal help could be beneficial.