[candy15]

I suffer from depression. I have been feeling bad recently. Just to explain I was seeing a college counseller about my issues, but the counselling ended for the school vacation period. At my last appointment I was feeling upset and depressed, but had put my name on the waiting list at another counselling agency for support over the summer until college starts back. My counseller gave me her email adress and told me to contact her if I wanted to ask anything. I briefly mentioned about getting counselling somewhere else but I wasn,t specific about it. Anyway that was about a month ago and I was told that I will have to wait at least another 5 weeks for an appointment at the new counselling agency. I had been feeling increasingly depressed and upset over the past 2 months and yesterday I felt really desperate and couldn,t stop crying.

I emailed my college counseller and explained that I feel really bad but she has not replied to my email. I feel really hurt and rejected by this, especially as I was feeling so desperate when I emailed her.

I do not understand why she is not replying as she knows how bad things get for me. I was feeling really low anyway, but this has pushed me further into despair. I feel like I have no support and noone to speak to until my new counselling appointment arrives from this new agency.

I also feel confused about my counselling with this counseller as sometimes she would tell me personal things about her own problems and life. I never asked her anything personal or anything about her life. I only spoke about my own problems. She was always sympathetic and caring towards me and speaking to her did help me cope better. At the time I didn,t think too much about what she was saying. She even told me she had had counselling herself for stress at work and that she had suffered with depression herself.

At the last appointment she started crying when I was upset and said that she had grown to care for me. She also asked if she could give me a hug and said that she always looked forward to the days when we had our appointments(tuesdays). She said that it was going to take her a while to adjust to the end ofour sessions but that she would do all that she could to be back next year.

I simply thought she was just being a caring professional and that she was a genuinely caring person. I did however find it surprising when she said that she looked forward to the days when my appointments were.

In light of this I can,t understand why she is not replying to my email when I am feeling so depressed and desperate.

However I am beginning to question the therapy I had with her and whether she was simply a genuinely caring person who cared about me professionally or whether her comments and behaviour were unethical or inappropriate for a counseller to make.

I do not feel that she has done anything wrong but I am the one who is depresed and confused and hurting right now. Can anyone tell me what there thoughts are on the counseller and what she did and said. I would appreciate if a therapist could even tell me if what happened was unethical and why she might not be replying to my emails.

Thanx

[depressedalaskan]

(((((candy15))))) I myself have had counselors become my friends. In my case there was nothing wrong with it and my counselor did ask her advisers if it was OK before doing extra things for me. She had other projects with other clients and she would invite me along to get me out of the house. I am glad that I had a counselor who genuinely cared about my well-being.
Now you stated that your counselor has a history of depression. Maybe she is having a hard time herself at the moment and does not know how to help you. I know with my depression I can hide for days without any communication with the outside world. I hope this is not the case but it is a possibility. Hugs for your day.

[gimmeice]

Hello candy15, welcome to psych central.
Your counselors behavior doesn't sound unethical to me, of course I am not a professional I only have my relationship with my therapist to compare your situation with, my t has shared personal info with me when she thought it was appropriate and she has told me many times she looks forward to our time together.
There are many reasons that could explain why she isn't replying to your email. Maybe she hasn't checked her email or she could be on vacation, I don't think she would purposely ignore you, I know it's hard to wait for a response but I have seen times where it takes almost a week for my therapist to get back to me via email.
Sending you lots of hugs.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by depressedalaskan

Maybe she is having a hard time herself at the moment and does not know how to help you.

Originally Posted by gimmeice

There are many reasons that could explain why she isn't replying to your email. Maybe she hasn't checked her email or she could be on vacation, I don't think she would purposely ignore you...

Hello, Candy15!

Guess: Your counsellor's actions and emotions are genuine. She really does care for you. Something, perhaps one of the reasons mentioned above by Alaskan and Gimmeice, is interfering with or delaying her response.

Feel free to share what you feel comfortable sharing on the forum or privately with whomever you come to trust here. Search the profile pages of the members and read their posts; eventually someone may stand out to you as a potential friend who knows your kind of challenges first-hand. We can't substitute for a face-to-face therapist, but we may be able to fill the gap. I hope we can.