[justfloating]

There's a knot in my stomach -- has been for quite some time. I think I'm perpetually worried, although I'm not really sure what I'm worried about. I am exhausted all the time. I just want to sleep and sleep and SLEEP but with my work schedule and my family and the hectic chaos that is my life, that's just not happening. I'm trying, I really am. I'm doing the breathing exercises that the T gave me, I'm trying to get some time to myself every day, I'm trying to spend as much time with my favourite friends as I can ... I try and try and try, and at the end of the day, I'm sitting in the dark waiting for the sky to fall on my head because it never feels like enough. I want to cry, scream, rage, SOMETHING.

My last day of work is September 7. I HATE my job more than I have words for, but I need the money pretty badly. I hate my bosses, I hate how disorganized they are, I hate how neurotic they can be, I hate how they think I actually care whether we make sales on the resort or if there's a single crumb in a drawer somewhere ... I hate how I can't understand what they want from me, I hate that my job description keeps changing, I hate that I'm so bored I could scream, I hate that I always feel like I'm not doing enough or not doing anything properly... Every time I go there, I'm counting down the minutes until I can leave.

It's not that long until September 7, and all I'm doing now is all I've done all summer ... spending every waking minute terrified of being asked to give up yet another day off. That's right, they can't even give me an accurate schedule, and I'm left to try to make plans around one that DOESN'T EXIST. I need structure or I crash. I need to know what I'm doing tomorrow, or next week. I make plans, even if it's just to know what days I can sleep in and what days I have to get up early. I need to know what's going on, and when I don't, I feel like I have no control and I lose my ability to process even the most simple things. It's the way my mind works. It's not perfect and it's a royal pain, but it's how things are, and trying to fit myself to a schedule that operates more or less on the whims of my managers is starting to wear on me.

I NEED THIS TO END.

[depressedalaskan]

Originally Posted by justfloating

There's a knot in my stomach -- has been for quite some time. I think I'm perpetually worried, although I'm not really sure what I'm worried about. I am exhausted all the time. I just want to sleep and sleep and SLEEP but with my work schedule and my family and the hectic chaos that is my life, that's just not happening. I'm trying, I really am. I'm doing the breathing exercises that the T gave me, I'm trying to get some time to myself every day, I'm trying to spend as much time with my favourite friends as I can ... I try and try and try, and at the end of the day, I'm sitting in the dark waiting for the sky to fall on my head because it never feels like enough. I want to cry, scream, rage, SOMETHING.

My last day of work is September 7. I HATE my job more than I have words for, but I need the money pretty badly. I hate my bosses, I hate how disorganized they are, I hate how neurotic they can be, I hate how they think I actually care whether we make sales on the resort or if there's a single crumb in a drawer somewhere ... I hate how I can't understand what they want from me, I hate that my job description keeps changing, I hate that I'm so bored I could scream, I hate that I always feel like I'm not doing enough or not doing anything properly... Every time I go there, I'm counting down the minutes until I can leave.

It's not that long until September 7, and all I'm doing now is all I've done all summer ... spending every waking minute terrified of being asked to give up yet another day off. That's right, they can't even give me an accurate schedule, and I'm left to try to make plans around one that DOESN'T EXIST. I need structure or I crash. I need to know what I'm doing tomorrow, or next week. I make plans, even if it's just to know what days I can sleep in and what days I have to get up early. I need to know what's going on, and when I don't, I feel like I have no control and I lose my ability to process even the most simple things. It's the way my mind works. It's not perfect and it's a royal pain, but it's how things are, and trying to fit myself to a schedule that operates more or less on the whims of my managers is starting to wear on me.

I NEED THIS TO END.

You said it yourself "It's not that long until September 7". I have an idea that might help - get a calender (circle September 7th) and start marking the days off the calender (from today) as you work them, until your job is done. Each day you get closer to your last day of work should make you feel better. Not sure if it would work but it might. Good luck. Hugs for your day.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Justfloating

I need structure or I crash. I need to know what I'm doing tomorrow, or next week. I make plans, even if it's just to know what days I can sleep in and what days I have to get up early. I need to know what's going on, and when I don't, I feel like I have no control and I lose my ability to process even the most simple things. It's the way my mind works.

These things you may have known about yourself before, but, if nothing else, your current job has sharpened the insight. As you consider your future, you can incorporate the recognition of these needs into your "strategic planning". Armed with knowledge of what is toxic, you can navigate away from a course of life that would only drive you into the ground.

Originally Posted by Justfloating

I hate my bosses, I hate how disorganized they are, I hate how neurotic they can be...

I wish I couldn't identify with what you say, but unfortunately I can...

[Naturefreak]

(((justfloating)))
Hang in there my friend

[*freak*]

Hang in there

[ADHD1956]

Originally Posted by justfloating

There's a knot in my stomach -- has been for quite some time. I think I'm perpetually worried, although I'm not really sure what I'm worried about. I am exhausted all the time. I just want to sleep and sleep and SLEEP but with my work schedule and my family and the hectic chaos that is my life, that's just not happening. I'm trying, I really am. I'm doing the breathing exercises that the T gave me, I'm trying to get some time to myself every day, I'm trying to spend as much time with my favourite friends as I can ... I try and try and try, and at the end of the day, I'm sitting in the dark waiting for the sky to fall on my head because it never feels like enough. I want to cry, scream, rage, SOMETHING.

My last day of work is September 7. I HATE my job more than I have words for, but I need the money pretty badly. I hate my bosses, I hate how disorganized they are, I hate how neurotic they can be, I hate how they think I actually care whether we make sales on the resort or if there's a single crumb in a drawer somewhere ... I hate how I can't understand what they want from me, I hate that my job description keeps changing, I hate that I'm so bored I could scream, I hate that I always feel like I'm not doing enough or not doing anything properly... Every time I go there, I'm counting down the minutes until I can leave.

It's not that long until September 7, and all I'm doing now is all I've done all summer ... spending every waking minute terrified of being asked to give up yet another day off. That's right, they can't even give me an accurate schedule, and I'm left to try to make plans around one that DOESN'T EXIST. I need structure or I crash. I need to know what I'm doing tomorrow, or next week. I make plans, even if it's just to know what days I can sleep in and what days I have to get up early. I need to know what's going on, and when I don't, I feel like I have no control and I lose my ability to process even the most simple things. It's the way my mind works. It's not perfect and it's a royal pain, but it's how things are, and trying to fit myself to a schedule that operates more or less on the whims of my managers is starting to wear on me.

I NEED THIS TO END.

JustFloating

[Knitnut]

Breathing exercises are a great stress reliever. I wish I was good at doing them.

Here is a suggestion. You said your last day at work is September 7. Like a child waiting for Christmas or a birthday to arrive, it feels like it in the forever distance.

Find a phrase that you like and each morning while you are getting ready for work repeat those 'positive' words over an over again. Take those words to work with you and BELIEVE them. Something like..

• I can do this! This day is one less day I have to work at this job

Also, put a calendar on the wall and put a big X on each day, using a wide tip marker. It will seem that much more final that the day is done, "one less day..."

Then there is the matter of letting go of all the anger you have towards all the elements of your job...boss, co-workers, etc. Read the quotation below, it says is quite well.

Another words, do you really want to continue to expend so much energy on anger, returning home each day exhausted, unable to sleep and more depressed. Or do you want to place that energy living the best way you can.

It really doesn't matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do and you want to move on.

~~Real Live Preacher, RealLivePreacher.com Weblog, July 7, 2003

[turquoisesea]

sorry job's so ick right now.

If there's a way you can find another job it might help you but I know you're in a spot where it's just the summer ("just.... yeah right") but...just remember. Maybe these bosses ARE asking too much of you. But just because they're upset with you, doesn't mean that YOU are not doing a GOOD job. I know there were times I KNOW I WAS DOING A GREAT GREAT GREAT job, and they got mad for the most stupid thing.

sending hugs, keep hanging in there.

[Berries]

(((((((((((JUSTFLOATING)))))))))))

Hang in there!!! It won't be much longer and you will be FREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!


In the past when I've been stuck somewhere, I daydream like this...
" in a certain amount of time I'll be..."

For example: " In 2 weeks and 3 days, I'll be in my own dorm room at college, playing video games with my best friend!"