[dreamsofflight]

So sick and tired of being depressed and being so mean to myself. I just keep beating my head against the wall and keep doing the SOS. Will I ever do what I need to be done? It's not rocket science I know what I can do to feel better, but I don't do it. I guess I like the pity party too much plus everything is sooo hard too much work.
exercise
lose weight
get out more
make friends
stop isolating
learn to meditate.... blah, blah, blah

I'm in a lot of pain, too. My Fibro is really attacking my back. How can I get anything done when I can't even get off the heating pad and driving anywhere is so painful?

[Naturefreak]

(((dreamsofflight)))



Wishing you relief from your pain and suffering A.S.A.P.

[bluebird2]

Things will get better. Consider seeking out mental help, if you haven't already. There's no shame to it!

=) *hugs*

[Yoda]

Have you ever discussed taking Lyrica for your fibromyalgia with your doctor? I took it for a couple years and it did help my pain but we recently DCd it because I have frequent dizziness and that is a common side effect of Lyrica.

Neurontin may/may not help with fibromyalgia. Not giving advice here but just suggestions to mention to doc.

Even though it hurts light exercise will help fibromyalgia. Perhaps you could start with some simple stretching exercises.

I relate to your fear of not getting better. About five or six years ago I asked my psychiatrist if this is as good as I am going to get. She said she didn't know. I appreciated her honesty. Fortunately with the passage of time and trialing new drugs I have made significant improvement and have not been severely depressed or manic since 2007. Hang in there. It is so frustrating when you want to feel better but can't.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((dreamsofflight))))

First thank you for sharing and for being so open. That is sometimes so hard to do especially when you feel so low. Know you can only do what you can do. Sometimes just getting out of bed is the accomplishment of the day. But you did it.

I know that your fibro hurts. I have a good friend who suffers from that. There are days when she is hurting so bad that she can hardly move out-a-long to anything. But that does not make her a bad person. It makes her someone with a condition that she cannot not do anything about it. But she still gets up and does everything she can.

Yes, we all have things that we know we should do and sometimes we do not do it. But sometimes we are just where we are. Yes, sometimes we do get stuck in a place where we are not doing what we should do and in those times we do need to push ourselves to the best we can.

But sometimes we cannot push anymore. And we need to give ourselves a break. I know there are times that I have to push myself because otherwise I will wallow in a place that just keeps going around and around in a vortex that only I can stop.

But sometimes like right now----I need to just take time for myself as hard as that may be to realize I need to be right where I am. That I need to feel what is happening within so that I can move forward. The pain right now is terrifying and it hurts. But I know that within this pain----I will grow if I allow myself to learn from it.

What you are feeling is normal and sometimes we get caught in the depression grabbing hold and pulling us under. It lies to us and attacks anyone at any given moment for it cares not whom it gets.

That is when I come here and read others words and caring, supportive post----and it pulls me up and gives me the strength to go on. To literally at times keep fighting. So many here have already been where I am, and their words are strength in the midst of a storm.

I encourage you to keep posting and sharing. I thank you for trusting us and telling us how you are feeling. Know we are here to listen and validate what you feel. You are important and what you say is important. It is how you feel. It is you at the moment.

Please know you are not alone and that we care. I send you gentle hugs if that is okay and lots of loving thoughts. We are here for you.

dps

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Dreamsoflight

I know what I can do to feel better, but I don't do it. ...everything is sooo hard...

These thoughts are echoed all over these forums in hundreds of variations, and they express well one of the key elements of our illness. Speaking only as a layperson, depression is a disease of the will. Even as some diseases cause the deterioration of bodily tissues such as muscle, depression attacks the mysterious mind-will connection. A person with a spinal injury may not be able to move their legs; we frequently can't "move" our "selves."

So, whenever we find we can move, or act, we should try to act as "economically" as possible, doing the most essential things, knowing our ability to act may leave us all too quickly. Our times of productive labor may be few and short, and each achievement, no matter how small, is worthy of celebration.

Years ago, when my depression had yet to completely engulf me, I did many of the things you mention to counter the illness. My hard-won successes in attaining a greater degree of physical and social health did not prevent depression from eventually driving me into the ground. Currently I'm a mess. I've fallen, and I theoretically know how to get up, but I haven't. I'm being a good, compliant medications taker, I'm "stable," but I'm not recovering.

The good news is, my story doesn't predict your story. Who knows - maybe one of those times of relatively greater activity may take healthy root in you and become the norm rather than the exception. You may even one day look back on your depressed self and wonder how you could have ever been down. May that be your story, Dreamsoflight.

[Seabirdanne]

Maybe think about something you want to do instead of what you need to do. Maybe what you need to do most is get away from thinking about what you need to do!

[dreamsofflight]

[QUOTE]

Originally Posted by Yoda

Have you ever discussed taking Lyrica for your fibromyalgia with your doctor? I took it for a couple years and it did help my pain but we recently DCd it because I have frequent dizziness and that is a common side effect of Lyrica.

Neurontin may/may not help with fibromyalgia. Not giving advice here but just suggestions to mention to doc.

Thanks I was on Neurontin for at least a year awhile back for BP. I was surprised when I heard it was used for pain b/c it didn't do anything for me. I'm really resistant to meds which sux. But what I'm taking for BP now seems to be working so thank God for that!

Lyrica I took for either BP or depression? I think its an antidepressant. It didn't work. When I went to my latest Rheum(sp?) dr. He said something about wondering if I had taken a high enough dose of Lyrica, but then wouldn't prescribe it? I'll admit I didn't really insist.

He's just told me take Vit. D and get massages. He tells me how he loves to get massages and how great they are for you. DUH!

I tried getting massages 1x/week for a few months. The MT was really good, but it didn't help. Everyday probably would have!

Maybe if I was a rich doctor I could afford to get them more often. I don't know how I found the money to pay for what MT I got. He sent me to PT didn't work either.

I haven't been back to see him in months. I just give up sometimes.

[dreamsofflight]

Thanks! so much good advice and comforting words I'd have to quote the whole thing. I'm glad to have you and all the other understanding ppl here. I d/k know anyone in RL that has the issues I do. So this forum is a godsend.

[dreamsofflight]

I'm being a good, compliant medications taker, I'm "stable," but I'm not recovering.

You may even one day look back on your depressed self and wonder how you could have ever been down. May that be your story, Dreamsoflight

I don't feel I'm truly recovering either. I thank God my BP meds seem to work. I haven't had a major ep. since 1999. I don't know why they work, no anti depressants or (the few) pain meds I've tried have. I worry, too.
When I was younger (before 2003) I was very depressed, in pain, but somehow did soooo much more. I was a completely different person and I want *her* back!

I hope we *both* make it to that day.

[lindee]

[dreamsofflight]

I hit reply, but I get another person's reply not yours . I'm trying quick reply now.
I know thinking too much is a definite problem. thanks.

[depressedalaskan]

Originally Posted by dreamsofflight

So sick and tired of being depressed and being so mean to myself. I just keep beating my head against the wall and keep doing the SOS. Will I ever do what I need to be done? It's not rocket science I know what I can do to feel better, but I don't do it. I guess I like the pity party too much plus everything is sooo hard too much work.
exercise
lose weight
get out more
make friends
stop isolating
learn to meditate.... blah, blah, blah

I'm in a lot of pain, too. My Fibro is really attacking my back. How can I get anything done when I can't even get off the heating pad and driving anywhere is so painful?

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low and are in so much pain. Yes we do know what to do, but how to get our depression to let us do them. My depression is like yours, it is holding me back from doing anything. hugs for your day.

[*freak*]

It will definitely get better, since you already know what you should to feel better. It's a great thing, so you're already a step ahead in comparison to those who have no idea of what to do or where to turn.

I wish you luck and hope your pain (both physical and emotional) goes away very soon