[Tumnus]

I think I said something like this pretty recently. I had a great day yesterday and now today I feel alternately empty, then sad, then blah, and back around again with some loneliness thrown in. It's like feeling so loved yesterday was too much for my world, so I get the opposite today. It's so dumb! I'm not punishing myself. I just feel so bad that it seems like I'm being punished by someone else for having experienced good emotions yesterday.

[ACanthony1984]

Hi Tumnus! I know exactly how you feel. I have some days where I'm just sooo happy. Nothing will really happen to me these days but I'm just happy, not really for any external reason. Then the very next day I wake up and I'm just BLAH and then everything seems to bother me. What helps me is when I am in a BLAH mood, I tell myself that it will pass and my mood will change. Your bad mood isn't YOU, rather it's just a mood. I try to put on my happy face despite everything. If I'm trying to be happy when I'm sad, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. It's easier said than done to just BE HAPPY. For me, I try to do my best to give love. If I expect people to love me sometimes that love will not find me. But if I go out of my way to just love people then love is its own reward. So I smile and say hello to strangers even if I'm feeling bad. If the other person doesn't smile back, oh well. If they do, sometimes it's their smile or their saying hello that will just brighten my day and turn the tides for the better. But hey, you'll be okay!! By the time you're reading this you'll probably already be in a good mood! If not, well, oh well, you'll get better. Read a book or something inspiring. For me, reading will either help me improve myself or it'll distract me. Some good websites are Happinessinthisworld.com and also ZenHabits.Net. Good luck, my friend. I hope you are doing okayyyy!!!!!

[depressedalaskan]

((((Tumnus))))Sorry you are feeling down. Hope hugs will help.

[Berries]

(((((((((((Tumnus)))))))))))



I'm sorry that happened. I hope you have a GOOD day again and it lasts soon.

[Lost71]

((Tumnus)) ...I wish I had the right words to help you here, friend. Unfortunately all I have is love and care.

Hugs and Wishes for better days for you ((Tumnus)) and please never forget we DO care!

[depressedalaskan]

Originally Posted by Tumnus

I think I said something like this pretty recently. I had a great day yesterday and now today I feel alternately empty, then sad, then blah, and back around again with some loneliness thrown in. It's like feeling so loved yesterday was too much for my world, so I get the opposite today. It's so dumb! I'm not punishing myself. I just feel so bad that it seems like I'm being punished by someone else for having experienced good emotions yesterday.

You had a good day. Great.. Now the question is how did you do it? Remember how you did it and do it again. Your good day is a day you were able to push your illness aside. The bad day is the day your illness is showing up again. You are not being punished for having a good day. Your illness is upset with you for doing so. Keep having good days, keep your illness from winning. Good luck and I am very happy you got to have a good day.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Tumnus

I think I said something like this pretty recently.

Might that be this thread?

It really is discouraging to experience a pattern of good and bad times, with the good possibly triggering the bad. Alaskan asks good questions. What can be done to repeat the good and/or remove the trigger relationship with the bad?

Keeping these things in mind, and wishing you a string of good times unspoiled by bad interludes!

[Tumnus]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Might that be this thread?

It really is discouraging to experience a pattern of good and bad times, with the good possibly triggering the bad. Alaskan asks good questions. What can be done to repeat the good and/or remove the trigger relationship with the bad?

Keeping these things in mind, and wishing you a string of good times unspoiled by bad interludes!

ACanthy, it was for an external reason. It was a get-together with friends. I don't have the internal reserves to just be super happy for no reason.

(((((Alaskan)))) (((((Berries)))) (((((Lost))))) ((((((Anyone I forgot?)))))

Rohag, yes, you found the right thread. I didn't have the energy to look for it. The good for me is generally found when I feel loved in the company of friends. And it's a good distraction. Books are good. TV sometimes, too, when I can't read do due to concentration problems. But I tend to have evenings to myself, with friends very busy most of the time. I am trying to figure out what to do with my evenings this winter so I'm not isolated, but not imposing on friends, either. I don't know what to do. I'm not sure how to remove the trigger relationship with the good, as you put it. I feel so empty, so lonely, so lost when the good is over. I had anxiety dreams last night and couldn't sleep. The not sleeping part is bad because I'm sick, but I didn't think to take sleeping meds because I thought being sick had tired me out enough to sleep. It was too late in the night (early in the morning?) by the time I realized I wasn't going to sleep well on my own. I had to get up for work for an hour (and go back again in a little while). I tried to take a nap, but again, no sleep. I read some, and that helped. But I'm too tired now to think of doing anything productive or helpful. The only thing that sounded helpful was to come on here and check in.

I really appreciate people caring, even if all they have to offer is hugs. Thanks. It eases things a tiny bit, which is something.

[turquoisesea]

Originally Posted by Tumnus

It's so dumb! I'm not punishing myself. I just feel so bad that it seems like I'm being punished by someone else for having experienced good emotions yesterday.

Well said... I'm glad you're aware that it's not a punishment...

hugs to you I hope you can get to a point where you can have good days that DON'T trigger the bad ones ((((((((((((((((Tumnus))))))))))))))))))))))))

[googley]

Tumnus,
I find it is always harder after those days where I feel better to feel down again then next day even if it was no worse than the day before the day I felt better. It always seems like a punch in the gut to feel better and then feel down again. It is like someone gave me hope for a day and then took it away. Take care of yourself.

[bridgie]

Hoping you have better days again soon. I don't have much else to say as my mind is not clear today. Good luck to you

[Tumnus]

Originally Posted by googley

It always seems like a punch in the gut to feel better and then feel down again. It is like someone gave me hope for a day and then took it away.

Well worded!

I found a positive way to keep distracted for at least part of the day. I have this book called Daily Affirmations for Adult Children of Alcoholics. My T wants me to read it daily to help replace negative thoughts about myself, even though I was raised by the non-alcoholic parent. Anyway, some of the wording I'm not fond of (Higher Power being one of them--it isn't a phrase I use in my home life). So I'm re-writing them each day, starting yesterday, to fit my wording while keeping the affirmation the same. It makes me slow down and think about what I'm reading, but it's not long, so I don't get overwhelmed.

Overall, I'm feeling a bit better today emotionally. I'm sick, so my energy level is down and the words blur together a bit on PC, so I'm not posting much. It makes my headache worse.

Again, thanks for the support from all who've responded. I'll try to catch up on your guys' threads when I can see the computer screen without feeling like I'm looking through water.

Blessings on everyone.