I just don't understand...

...woman who stay in abusive relationships.

The guy who lives in the apartment above me is in his early 30s and is the manager of a local sit-down chain restaurant. His current girlfriend is probably in her early 20s.

The fight almost daily and today I almost called 911. In fact I probably should have done so.

I lived with an abusive father who happened to also be bi-polar. I lived with a pre-teen, then teenaged son who was abusive. So, I learned my lessons long long ago.

Today they took their fighting to the parking lot, which my apartment faces and since the temps here have been reasonable I have had my windows open and the A/C off for about a week now.

She was in her car when I first heard the yelling. He was talking and yelling and she was begging him to just leave her alone and let her go home. (Men, they always apologize!! They will never do it again!!) He kept standing in the doorway of her car so she couldn't close the door. This went on the about 45 minutes. Then she lets him get into the passenger side of the car and they leave...what?? They return a bit later, but I didn't know this until I yet again heard the yelling. There he was in her car on the drivers side taking her car and driving off, at which she is threatening to take his "precious" new sports car. So, she has his keys, he leaves in her car and she takes his car...but will not bring it back. She shows up again without the car.

Here is where it gets "drop jaw" for me. She is again in her own car and trying to drive away. He goes around to the front of the car to stop her from leaving...surely she won't run over him, I assume he is thinking. But she does try to drive away. He grabs the side mirror and is thrown to the ground. She gets out of the car, helps him stand up and while he is walking away telling her to just go away and leave him alone, she is hugging him with her arms wrapped around his neck apologizing to him!!

Why Why Why...I don't understand why women do this to themselves. I know it is a need to be loved by a man, and of course, there are usually more psychological reasons for this behavior. Well heck, there are lot of nice men out there that don't get violent. Go find one!!

Perhaps they confuse their neediness with love?
Perhaps they don't feel they deserve better?
Perhaps they are lost souls who have lost themslves?

I used to be in that situation years ago. Thankfully I grew up emotionally.

A difficult question... I understand it's a recognized phenomenon. Here's a Google search on that topic.

((((bigcasper)))) I don't have an answer for this but I have seen it. I don't like to say this but some people just need that fight - I don't know why but it is like a way of life for them. This goes both ways for him and her. I know I would not like to live like that but I see it a lot. Both parties seem to like the fight. Not in all cases, but when they are both fighting and fighting each other. If there is only one person doing the abusing then it is very sad that one has to live like that. But when both parties like to fist it out - that is how they want to live. Not sure why. Sorry you yourself had to live with abuse.

I am not saying that I agree with abuse at all, just a thought and what I have seen in my life. I know and have known people who like to fight. But I still do not know why or agree with it. Hugs for your day..

....... yep

Thanks for all the replies.