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#26
Sep 07, 2009, 11:18 PM
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How are you doing tonight (((Star)))) ???? I hope you are feeling good about your decision to stand up for yourself and try to stop being used! Living together rarely works out well for both. I'm sorry you had to find out the hard way.
Do you have support IRL? Is there an organization for battered/abused in your area? They often have great resources and encouragement too!  Sounds like you're on the right path!
__________________
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 Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan, lynn09
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#27
Sep 07, 2009, 11:24 PM
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Without my income he said he will lose everything. I am also going to call The Centre for Women tomorrow. There is another place just for women with mental problems, but two year waiting list and don't think they'll allow my dashund who is my best friend - 8-1/2 years.... anyone that has been with me that long.... is a friend..poor baby
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| depressedalaskan, lynn09
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#28
Sep 07, 2009, 11:33 PM
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I agree with you 100% . My reply was NOT to try and get a dig in . I try to help sometimes by using humor . Doesn't always work . I hope you didn't take it the wrong way . Not everyone is in the mood for humor , especially if it involves a sensitive subject. My apologies . Hugs 
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| Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan, Lost71, lynn09
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#29
Sep 07, 2009, 11:36 PM
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When a thread is posted it is expected to receive ALL types of responses.... When throwing ourselves out there, hey what do we expect. FRIEND 
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| depressedalaskan, lynn09, Naturefreak
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#30
Sep 07, 2009, 11:41 PM
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__________________
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| Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan, lynn09
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#31
Sep 07, 2009, 11:44 PM
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Even if maybe you do have stinking feet   LOL
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| depressedalaskan, lynn09, Naturefreak
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#32
Sep 07, 2009, 11:57 PM
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Aww my starlite starbrite...you sound in slightly better spirits.That makes me happy!!!i hope things only go up for you now.....lots of hugs!!
__________________
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| Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan, lynn09
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#33
Sep 08, 2009, 12:11 AM
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I'm glad we met xxWantxx (2 Escape - I hear that) |
| depressedalaskan, lynn09, xxWant2Escapexx
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#34
Sep 08, 2009, 01:32 AM
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((((((Starlite)))))),
I know the feelings you are going through. I was married for 33 years. The last 12 years, I was living my my own room of the house. The fighting grew worse & worse & worse. I realized that I wasn't like that around other people & I wasn't like that before I got married.......so that angry, hateful person I turned into really wasn't the real me. When my Mother died 4 years ago, I sold her house & left the state, moving over 2000 miles away. Initially I hadn't really planed on it being the end of the marriage, I was just getting my farm set up so we could get moved there. I found myself so free & happy & not angry all the time & when I went back to bring a moving van full of things on the first trip, the anger came flooding back. I realized that it was him that was pushing all the buttons & really that wasn't me. I gave him a chance that Christmas to see how it would go, but I kicked him out after 2 weeks. He came back a few weeks later to take back 5 of the 12 dogs & I haven't seen him since. I figured if I had any feelings for him, I would have ended up missing him or at least feeling something. All I have felt is wonderful relief & peace that I hadn't felt for 33 years. It just showed me that I should have listened to that little voice 34 years ago that told me not to get married to a jerk. It seems strange that after that many years of being together, I feel absolutely NOTHING for him. He was a nice person, would do anything you asked except to be responsible. He felt that the only thing he had to do for the marriage was work & bring in money......I was an equal on that part of the marriage, so I expected him to be an equal on the rest. I have no desire to even see him again which seems realy strange to me after that many years of being together. It got to the point where I would feel so disgusted even being around him it would make me feel sick....add that to the feeling sick from the trauma I went through with my Mother & I was really a mess. I had never lived alone at all in my life, I went from living with my parents & going to college to being married & going to college....not once did I ever have a chance to just BE ME. It has taken these 2 years to finally not just yell when I talk to him on the phone....but I realize it was all the years piling on top of each other that took that much time to clear out of my mind. Now, I hardly even remember him or anything to do with him. It is a sure thing that absence did not make the heart grow fonder & time has healed with definitely no desire to go back to him. Think that is all the more realization that there never was love there to begin with. There are times when living alone with no one to talk to execpt my dogs gets to me, but most of the time I wouldn't trade it for anything....not even finding someone to rent a room or finishing off my basement to rent out. I am sure you will find living alone just as wonderful as I have found it.....peace & quiet....no one forcing you to do anything you don't want to do or making you angry or upset. Think there should be a group called "singles & loving it" can never understand why single peope are always looking for a mate BE HAPPY, Debbie PS, my dogs have really stinky feet....they smell like freetos & Leo really gets smelly when he goes to my neighbors farm & rolls in the cow poo & then he thinks I will let him sleep in bed with me....lol.
__________________
 Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
| Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan, keepinghopeful, lynn09, Naturefreak
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#35
Sep 08, 2009, 08:23 AM
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 Sorry you're having such a hard time, ((((Starlite)))). I've been in a similar situation before and it is so hard. When I finally got out of it, it was so freeing even though it was difficult financially - just not having to deal with a person and a situation that I could do nothing about was such a relief. I hope you can make arrangements that can give you some peace of mind so you can focus on what you need to do for yourself.
__________________
"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!" (Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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| Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan
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#36
Sep 08, 2009, 09:59 AM
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 (((((((((((Starlite))))))))))
I wish you strength and hope. I too was in a bad (abusive) relationship for 7 years. I'd much rather live alone for the rest of my life than be in that relationship. Nothing is worth that. And as far as him being ruined finacially, I hate to be harsh, but that is his problem. If it were me, I'd give him a specific amount of time to get his finances in order and then I'd be out of there whether he was able to get on his feet or not. You owe this man nothing. He treats you badly and does nothing for you or with you. Be Free Starlite, be free
__________________
I love your faults because they are part of you and I love you. --my BFF [center][b][color=#92d050][font=Verdana] |
| Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan, keepinghopeful, lynn09
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#37
Sep 08, 2009, 11:16 AM
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__________________
My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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| Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan, Lost71, lynn09
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#38
Sep 08, 2009, 02:32 PM
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__________________
Please check out my blog: Musings Of An Obsessive Mind http://lonewolf-musingsofanobsessivemind.blogspot.com/ 
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| Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan, lynn09
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#39
Sep 08, 2009, 07:36 PM
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| depressedalaskan, lynn09
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#40
Sep 08, 2009, 07:52 PM
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 September 8, 2009 STARLITE As you can see I feel GREAT! Today I actually felt Free! I felt relief! Situation: I will remain in my wonderful safe place bedroom. I will continue to pay the $500.00 I've been paying along with the water bill. I took off our 'supposably' wedding ring (NOT MARRIED THOUGH) [I already did that 4 x's.}]  Stands like this - (oh I'm sorry, I just feel so much better, like a weights been lifted)  Okay - he will leave me alone, not call me from work, treat me like a room-mate only; no funny (not-funny) business. Cannot come into my room etc etc.... AND I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am totally independant NOW - I told him 'I will see' how this works. If he starts giving me attitude, or maybe finds someone, or even a room-mate that I will move out IMMEDIATELY You guys have been great, so supportive, great suggestions............ I feel totally blessed to have ALL of you YEAH!!!!!!!! Okay so for now this issue is in a different status....
If situation changes there will be more: I feel like myself silly self !!!  |
| depressedalaskan, Dwayne61, lynn09, Naturefreak, Rohag
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#41
Sep 08, 2009, 09:39 PM
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Hi Starlite,
So glad you are feeling better. You are really talented with your computer art. I can tell when you're happy! I'm glad to see you're happy again JourneyUpward |
| Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan, Dwayne61, lynn09
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#42
Sep 08, 2009, 10:37 PM
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I am glad you are getting away from that nasty man. Look forward to good things ahead. If you do live in a small place, sign up for section 8 housing. The list may be long, but it is worth it...my rent is 60 a month. It is small, it is mine.
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| Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan, lynn09
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#43
Sep 09, 2009, 01:31 AM
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Take care of yourself and your sweet pup! ((((((((((((starlite))))))))))))))
__________________
When you feel like giving up.....Remember why you held on for so long in the first place." ---Author Unknown
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| Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan, lynn09
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#44
Sep 09, 2009, 01:38 AM
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Originally Posted by eskielover
 ((((((Starlite)))))), BE HAPPY, Debbie PS, my dogs have really stinky feet....they smell like freetos & Leo really gets smelly when he goes to my neighbors farm & rolls in the cow poo & then he thinks I will let him sleep in bed with me....lol.j ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- lol! I thought only my dog had the freetos feet
__________________
When you feel like giving up.....Remember why you held on for so long in the first place." ---Author Unknown
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| Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan, lynn09
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#45
Sep 09, 2009, 03:30 AM
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Am glad things are looking up.
Pets are lovely. I had a cat once, they are lovely creatures ! Very affectionate and friendly. Might get myself another one someday ! 
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| Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan, lynn09
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#46
Sep 09, 2009, 10:59 AM
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(((((((((((Starlite)))))))))))
So so so so so so glad you are feeling better! Sounds like you have a good workable, flexible plan!!
__________________
I love your faults because they are part of you and I love you. --my BFF [center][b][color=#92d050][font=Verdana] |
| Anonymous29357, depressedalaskan, lynn09
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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Depression is not a weakness ...... it is a sign that you have been strong for too long. 
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