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#1
Sep 08, 2009, 03:30 PM
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How horrible it is to feel this way to not be ablt to be close to others. I dnt know if this feeling of disgust in the pit of my stomach is from self loathing. It very well may be. I see someone trying to get close to me and I am allowing them too but I emotionally cannot get close to them right now. And the one I really want doesn't want me. He's never asked so it must be. And that makes me feel unlovely. This is horrible I can't go on like this. I have to end it with the one. I like him but it just won't work I just can't get close I feel so far away I feel so closed and dark. A shell of myself and I watch my body go throught the motions. And in the end everyone will get hurt and I will feel worse than ever before.
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#2
Sep 08, 2009, 09:09 PM
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Quote:
Sorry you are going through this, No words today, But hugs for you .... 
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#3
Sep 08, 2009, 09:11 PM
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((((((((((bridgie)))))))))) ...please hang in there, hun, you are worth it! Don't listen to those nasty voices in your head, hun!
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#4
Sep 09, 2009, 03:34 AM
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I understand some of what you feel. My problem is the exact opposite. I allowed four people whom i met online to get close to me. Two eventually came to stay with me after a year long friendship. But now after a huge argument the friendship is over (i am beginning to wonder if they were really friends at all). And i am being cast as the villian in all of this. I will never let anyone close to me again.
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 depressedalaskan
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