[darylb41]

i got so many problems they never go away for long no mater what i do they come back soon. but i got 1 that is nearly always there I'm so lonely.

Does anyone know how it feels to crave someone to talk to. to wish someone would say "hi daryl do you want to blank" or"lets go to blank" or mabey "how have you been". I wish someone would come by to talk to me so bad just to talk. Dont say go to na or find a group i got interest in. That dont work No matter Where i go No one likes me so why bother.

I dont dare to wish for a kiss. To even think like that makes me bottom out.

Oh god I just thought it

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Daryl -- I agree that it can be very hard to feel that one is overlooked and outcast by others.

I am in a depressive episode now. Even though I have these feelings, I know that I most likely give off nonverbal signals that warn other people to "keep away." We -- and I do mean me -- have to be the ones to smile and extend an invitation. I don't have the strength to do that right, and I expect you do not either. Still true, though.

[Berries]

(((((((((((daryl)))))))))))

Because of your depression and low self-esteem this may seem impossible. So, I hesitate to say it. But will take the risk and say it. Because I care.
Maybe it is time to stop waiting to be approached? Maybe it is time to walk up to someone and take a risk and ask them to do something or go somewhere? Maybe someone in your classes?

[Rohag]

Hi, Daryl!

Loneliness and making friends are the subject of countless books and articles, none of which I have really read. My impression of the advice given boils down to “focus outward toward others.” But, as you, Wants2Fly and many others here know, depression undermines the energy and short circuits the personal skills necessary to do that.

Originally Posted by Darylb41

No matter Where i go No one likes me

I suspect where you go no one has read your PsychCentral posts.

I want to ask, “Really, no one at all likes you?” and “Why do you think no one (or very few) likes you?” But, I'm not asking those questions because I know all too well we depressives are poor judges of ourselves. Depression skews or totally mangles our self-perception.

If I had the nerve (I don't), I'd call someone who I know doesn't like me and ask them straight, “Why don't you like me?” They'd probably deny it out of courtesy or give me some sort of short answer, which might be valuable but would itself need to be interpreted, and – again – I'd be a poor one to interpret it.

All this is an overly long way of saying, “Sorry, Daryl, I don't know how to help you with your offline loneliness.” I wish I did. On the other hand, I can truly say I enjoy rubbing electronic shoulders with you here.

[darylb41]

thanks I hear you guys
I been thinking where did this problem start. I think I have had it all my life. I remember when i was a kid in fifth grade or so hiding in my living room and staring out the little window of our door at the kids playing basket ball. I probally watched 2 or 3 hundred games of football basketball frisbee or something out that window. I got labeled early as a spaz and weird because i would do stupid stuff I guess to get attention. For example one time at school i put pencils in my nose and walked up to the teacher in middle of class and said i cant breath. That was sooo stupid I didnt get any friends that day but i got a lot of people making fun of me.
I got a whippin probally every day of my elementary school life or close to it from the teacher or princapal for acting up somehow.

In 7th grade i was at a pond by the freeway they were camping out someone had some pot and i smoked some it was great I dont know why the instant love but it was there. I became a pothound. and by 9th grade i was selling it to most of the high school dopefiends. Pot really gave me direction and i didnt hide anymore because if you wanted the best weed or the best deals you came to me. I had "lucked out" and had found a place to buy pounds of good weed on a front. I took it serious and soon didnt have to front any more and was the man.

I don't do drugs at all any more I quit because of my children I have no regrets actually i feel pretty damn empowered by the fact I am totally drug free I even quit smoking cigs.

Now i am staring out that window again. You might think it is easy to go outside and ask to play but it aint. It just aint gonna happen. I use my kids to be able to go to public places but i dont talk to anyone i just stand and watch the kids . I can be civil to other people then you know Hi and Bye and hows it going but thats the end of it. I have caught myself being stupid in class once and stopped it before i made a fool of myself Most of the time i am at school now i am trying to listen but mostly I am thinking just stay cool I will be able to leave in just a little bit screw these people u dont have to impress them and stuff like that It is hard to listen to the teacher for that crap going through my mind.
Math is my best subject because it is easy he gives homework i go hame and do it and the next day we get more homework

anyway i am just taking a long time to say It aint so easy to talk to someone even when i know they want bite me. You say just do it but it just aint gonna happen. the reason im so lonely is because i dont talk to anyone. That is what is so depressing. I dont know why i cant sleep or binge purge i guess those are seperate issues I probally really am plenty screwed up i will contaplate those demons later

so if i spam write someone who is nice to me i am truly sorry I am trying not to I promise i will not ever write someone with out being reponded to I am sorry if i offended any 1 by sending them huge letters this is the only commutication i get sorry i hope you understand

[darylb41]

/sigh Its so late I cant sleep and no one to talk to




























story of my life

[Berries]

Originally Posted by darylb41

/sigh Its so late I cant sleep and no one to talk to story of my life

(((((((((((daryl)))))))))))
Late at night when you can't sleep, have you tried Chat?

[lonegael]

daryl You know, I have been known to leave lights on when I'm here alone for stretches just so I can pretend someone is staying up waiting for me. At least the power company loves me Hang in there