I am sorry

I am sorry that my feeling don't match with your reality.
I am sorry that my emotions become intense when you think nothing is wrong.
I am sorry I get mad and hate you when really I am just so hurt and feel abandoned.
I am sorry I sometimes cannot recognize you are going through some tough issues because I often get blinded by my own failures and despair.
I am sorry I am not the daughter, friend, lover, client, sister, aunt, or being you would like to see in me.
I am really sorry!

((( sjo401 ))) Hugs if ok. Don't know what else to say.

Why are you sorry? It's nice for everything one else for you to be here! {hug}

to me, you've been a very good friend........and i cherish you everyday.....xoxox pat

Susu, as long as you are true to yourself, you have nothing to be sorry for.
You are a dear friend, never forget that, what ever happened in your past is over today is a new start
Angie

WOW!!! Those could've just as easily been my words, how did you get inside my head?

You have nothing to be sorry for. Reality is just a perception. Everybody's reality is different as we all perceive things differently, through our own eyes and life experiences. You know, it doesn't matter whether anybody else thinks nothing is wrong or not, it's what YOU think, it's YOUR life and YOU are the one that it living it. If somebody else thinks that nothing is wrong then that speaks volumes about them and nothing bad about you. They need a few lessons in life, including compassion, understanding, not judging others and stepping outside their own mind to see that you are dealing with something that is very REAL to you and that's 'all' that should matter. It's sometimes hard to see what others are going through when we are blinded by our own problems. Sometimes I think we can see it but we don't have anything left in us to give, we're too far down ourselves. I'm sure you're probably a better daughter, lover, friend, client, etc than you are giving yourself credit for. It's so easy to lose sight of our strengths or 'reality' when you reside in the pit. I know you are one of my very best friends here. I'm glad that I reached out to you the day you arrived. Had I not, I would've been the loser for not getting to know you better and forming a friendship with you that I cherish very dearly. Above all you have nothing to feel sorry for. Again, we tend to lose sight of everything, when the pit is our home. I know I often feel all the same things that you are right now, I do right now, I'm sure there are lots of people on this site that go through what you're feeling more times than they care to remember. We all go through this, or at least most of us do, it's all very 'normal'. You're still the great person that you've always been, that'll never change. You're going through a rough time, your perception of reality is skewed but you're entitled to own your feelings. Feelings are never right or wrong, they just 'are'. Nobody should ever judge you for how you feel. God knows, we do it enough to ourselves. Try to cut yourself a bit of a break sweetie. I know, easier said than done. I know this is always said to me, and sometimes it bugs me when it is, but it doesn't make it any less true, but 'this too shall pass'. I'm here for you Susan, always. I'm your friend and I consider you one of my very best friends, a friendship that I cherish very dearly. I hope you start feeling better soon and again, there is no reason for being sorry, it's just not necessary. You haven't done anything that is wrong. Depression has overtaken you but you will come out the victor in the end. You WILL rise above and see the light again. Praying that doesn't take too long to happen for you. You're always in my heart, thoughts and prayers. You're a very good person, whether you can see that right now or not. Remember, reality is only a perception. Now, get out of my head, lol!!!

((((((((((((((( Susan )))))))))))

Thanks for all your input.
I just had to get out some feelings. In general, I have been doing better. But, my T never called me back yesterday so I got pissed at her. My gf called me a baby.
Today my T called and her daughter is not well and she was in the hospital with all.
Then I feel like a total arse because I know my self better and know that her daughter just had surgery. So, I get mad at me more then anyone because I still cannot help the feelings I feel but they don't match up to the reality of things.
Anyway, thanks everybody!