Rough Day

Hey,

I'm new here and I think I need some sort of communal support. I feel like no one I am close with understands what it is like to be so debilitated. I had a strange sort of relapse today. I didn't self harm, but while my boyfriend was trying to be intimate with me (which I have found increasingly unwanted lately), I made him bite my arm over and over so hard I have bruises and almost broken skin. I feel guilty and sick. Please let me know I'm the only one who feels so lost, and guilty for feeling so.

P.S. My posts don't seem to be showing up..? Maybe because I'm new...?

Thanks

You aren't the only one (((((ariellah)))) this disease and SI are frightening and confusing things to have to deal with. A lot of us feel lost. It's not wrong to be so. Maybe you should be alittle clearer with the bf about needing to take a break from sex for a bit. It sounds like something really triggered you. Take care of yourself, you are worth more than you imagine

You should not feel guilty about anything. As long as the injury is minimal and you can keep the practicing of it under control, then it may be a source of pleasure for you in the future - in moderation, of course.

Thank you, guys.
I've been struggling with all of my many issues lately. It's not only the act of getting hurt, but it's the constant stream of thoughts in my head. How often i think about death and dying and pain. It builds up. I'm just so exhausted lately. and in a weird fog? Does that happen to anyone else?

No need to feel guilty. We all go through rough patches. Try to take it easy on yourself.

Yep. I can go around for weeks as if the inside of my head is packed in cotton and everything takes a very long time getting through. Not fun, but part of the package.

wow. that's a wonderful description. cotton-y head stuffs. some days it's like i am wrapped up in flannel and the rest of the world is muffled and unattainable.

we should write def jam poetry, lonegael