[Berries]

I’m very dark today. I am a worthless human being. I’m so sorry I am so scared of life. I wish I could have just bucked up. I wish I could buck up now.
I made my life a waste of space.
I want to ***.

[googley]

((((((((Berries)))))))))
You ARE NOT worthless!!!!

You are so wonderful and caring and supportive of everyone else. I know I was always told that I had to "pull myself up by the bootstraps" when I was growing up. After having that drilled into my mind growing up it makes it hard to put it aside now. But know, that it is okay to ask for help. It doesn't matter what other people have said. They are wrong. You are wonderful and kind and amazing. Please take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.

[kebsfroggy]

Oh Berries, I'm so sorry you are having a dark day. I have had so many of those days.

As a frog of little brain I don't have any answers.

You are NOT worthless. Many times we don't know which end is up, but that doesn't make you worthless. You are important to our community. You provide suggestions to those in need.

Please be kind to yourself. You deserve TLC days.

[Berries]

I don't know if I can stand these thoughts and feelings anymore.

I don't want to be at this place anymore.

[larakeziah]

(((((((((((Berries)))))))))))

so sorry u are not feeling great!!!

Please try and stay strong!!!!!

[lynn P.]

I'm sorry you're having a dark day Berries. We all have our days or times in our lives when everything seems so bad. If you read my profile you'll see I've had my fair share of dark days. I lost a brother a year and a half ago - he took his own life. I know when you're in pain like this - all you want to do, is have it stop. The more we resist it, the worse it gets. So I want you to relax, let the feelings come but don't resist them.

I saw this woman on Oprah a year ago - she lost both arms, legs and had her colon removed because of the flesh eating disease. One would think, it would be normal for her to be sad and give up. But all she could think of, was surviving and going home to her daughters and husband. She was a survivor.

Make sure you treat yourself well. What makes you feel better? Even though I've had more stress than most could bare - I have survived and surprisingly I feel stronger. You can learn alot of good life lessons when you've suffered pain. I want you to try something - think of what you're grateful for - it can be simple like a good meal, a warm bed or a cuddly animal - many people don't even have that. I hope you feel better Berries - I want you to be a fighter and survivor.

[VickiesPath]

(((((((((((((((((((( Berries ))))))))))))))))))))

There's a whole bunch of us fruits out here.....all around the world......

who love you very much. You know that tomorrow or the next day will

be better. So just be quiet and gentle with yourself for now.

[turquoisesea]

((((((((((((((((((Berries)))))))))))))))))))

[Naturefreak]

I know you are NOT worthless .
You helped me out many times and have been there for many others.
You have to help yourself my friend , as best you can . Please try , even if it's just a little at a time. I know it's very difficult , but you must have hope and trust in yourself.
Please take care Berries . Many Hugs

[Simcha]

Hey Berries... long time no see. I've had a rough go of it lately too. It's quite a story, if you care to hear it sometime. Heck, it's almost like a psycho-drama movie like the ones they make on the "Lifetime" tv for women channel Egads...now that's depressing. How can women watch that channel anyway?

What brought on this depressive episode anyway? Did something specific happen?
You know what gives me hope? Sigourney Weaver as Ripley in Aliens. Now that's a damnn good movie. Do you ever distract yourself from the negative mantra by watching movies? That's what I do...

[ariellah89]

Hey Berries,

I understand. I'm so confused about life. On the one hand, death is such a scary thing to actually contemplate. But on the other, life is so hard. If there's one thing I'm finding some bit of comfort in it's the existentialist philosophy, which is kind of ironic. Irvin Yalom is a modern day existentialist and psychiatrist as well as a great writer. I'm reading Staring into the Sun: Overcoming Death Anxiety. It's so healing. It makes you realize that life is all we have and it's unhelpful to create this mass of anxiety and depression throughout. It's great, I'm not saying I'm magically "cured" or anything, but it is worth reading and connecting with others.

Stay Grounded.

[lonegael]

(((((Berries))))))Just to let you know I have never bucked up in my life! Take good care of yourself, friend.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Berries

I don't know if I can stand these thoughts and feelings anymore.

Maybe I'm letting my own sense of powerlessness get the best of me, but I don't have confidence even to wish away those destructive thoughts and feelings. They've struck repeatedly and probably will continue to do so for who knows how long.

Nevertheless, I/we care about you. So here's the best wish I can realistically muster for you today: May you develop the internal strength and means to effectively fight off or neutralize those thoughts when they strike.

Originally Posted by Berries

I don't want to be at this place anymore.

I don't understand; what do you mean by "this place?"

[Berries]

Originally Posted by Rohag

I don't understand; what do you mean by "this place?"

I just meant this place in my life.
I want to move on to better days and better things.
I feel stuck. I feel like a great big glob of mental sickness. Like that is all I am; who I am.

[trevorzero]

You do such a good job of reaching out to people here at PC, but you've got to reach out to people in the real world as well. I know that you have trust issues with people, but isn't it really the case that you don't trust yourself around other people in the real world?

You're afraid that you'll hurt people in some way, right? Maybe just hurt their feelings, but still be an unhelpful presence in their lives?

Originally Posted by Berries

I’m very dark today. I am a worthless human being. I’m so sorry I am so scared of life. I wish I could have just bucked up. I wish I could buck up now.
I made my life a waste of space.
I want to ***.

Berries, im totally feeling the same way. I wish i could be better, i wish we both could. Take care

[turquoisesea]

Originally Posted by Babysteps

[Berries]

Originally Posted by trevorzero

You do such a good job of reaching out to people here at PC, but you've got to reach out to people in the real world as well. I know that you have trust issues with people, but isn't it really the case that you don't trust yourself around other people in the real world?

You're afraid that you'll hurt people in some way, right? Maybe just hurt their feelings, but still be an unhelpful presence in their lives?

No, I don't feel that way. I would never hurt others. No one need fear me.

It is the other way around--I am terrified of being hurt by others. I distrust irl people, especially "normals". And I seem to be some sort of psychopath magnet/doormat.

[Berries]

Originally Posted by Babysteps

Thank you Babysteps. You are awsome!

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Berries

I just meant this place in my life.
I want to move on to better days and better things.

Thank you for clarifying - I didn't want to assume I understood.

I am glad you at least have the desire "to move on to better days and better things." Of course, it's terribly frustrating not to have the energy or imagination how to realize that desire, but the fact you can still want it is something.

I'm just groping for a ray of sunshine in your current state, Berries. Unfortunately, my personal experience tells me that a depressive can find all sorts of "bright sides" in their situation and still not feel any better. So, I wish you peace no matter from where or what or whom it comes.