[googley]

I'm feeling alone. I hate the weekends. Along with that I have to write a paper for class reflecting on my family's values. I just want to write two sentences:

My family's values suck. We were told not to talk to anyone ever, and hence I am continuing those values for this paper and not writing any more.

The end. (Too bad it has to be two to four pages.)

I hate all the pain that this paper is bringing up. I'm sure the teacher isn't aware of the distress it is causing, but it isn't exactly something that I can go and talk to her about (complicated situation.) I'm trying to be very vague in the paper and not go into details, but it still makes me think about all the bad stuff. I hate this. I move thousands of miles away from my family for a reason. It was not to write about them in papers for class.

[justfloating]

(((((((((googley))))))))))


It was probably not such a good idea for your teacher to propose a topic like that -- I'm sure you're not the only one in your class who is made uncomfortable or even distressed at the thought of writing about their families. Is there any way you can distance yourself from the paper as you're writing it? Give it a sarcastic tone, for instance, or instead of writing about all the distressing things your family has done, write about what you've learned from growing up with people whose values you don't actually share/approve of? Just a thought ...

As for feeling alone and hating weekends, I can only say that I know where you're coming from, I hate them too. Don't focus your whole weekend around this paper, if you can. Do something nice for yourself -- take a walk or a bubble bath or watch a favourite movie. I think it's while we're dealing with something difficult that we have to be the gentlest with ourselves.

[idontknow13]

((((((googley))))))

[Rohag]

Hi, Googley! I'm sorry about the pain this paper brings you. Maybe I'd make a poor professor, but I'd be quite impressed with your two sentences, or three if you threw in the "I moved thousands of miles away from my family for a reason" comment. Passion counts.

As usual, Justfloating has wisdom to share, and I want to highlight this:

Originally Posted by Justfloating

I think it's while we're dealing with something difficult that we have to be the gentlest with ourselves.

[Berries]

(((((((((((googley)))))))))))

Maybe you could just make up a story of your "ideal" family values? A family you'd like to have someday?

I'm sorry this is causing so much distress. How insensitive &/or ignorant your prof must be. LOTS of people come from less than ideal families--to put it nicely. Shame on her for not realizing that this assignment could be quite difficult for probably a lot of people in her class.

[justinj3x3]

I am alone as well, and dealing with a breakup that should not be. I decided to write things down...actually to keep a journal written to my ex....It helped a little.....Maybe you should write the paper and get it out, and maybe when your teacher reads it they will realize the mistake they made assigning it....You could save future students who feel like us grief if the teacher realized the pain personal things bring to people, and never assigned it again.

[turquoisesea]

I wonder if you could go to your teacher and say that the subject is uncomfortable for you. You need not go into details. Maybe the teacher could give you an alternative assignment... I wouldn't want to go into details at all, and you shouldn't have to I feel.

[lonegael]

(((((Googley)))))) My husband does teach and I have substituted at a college before, and I think it would be a good idea to ask the prof if you can write on another theme of her chosing. You shouldn't have to explain anymore than that your experiences make it difficult. She might ask more if she is concerned, but you don't have to say more. That way you can see ahead of time if this is a solution she would accept and let her know that this kind of assignment is not great for all people. If she doesn't have an alternative, maybe she will next time she does this Gosh these stupid assignments are a b"#¤%! I have been triggered so many times by them... Hope you feel better as you fall bak into your schedule

Originally Posted by googley

I'm feeling alone. I hate the weekends. Along with that I have to write a paper for class reflecting on my family's values. I just want to write two sentences:

My family's values suck. We were told not to talk to anyone ever, and hence I am continuing those values for this paper and not writing any more.

The end. (Too bad it has to be two to four pages.)

I hate all the pain that this paper is bringing up. I'm sure the teacher isn't aware of the distress it is causing, but it isn't exactly something that I can go and talk to her about (complicated situation.) I'm trying to be very vague in the paper and not go into details, but it still makes me think about all the bad stuff. I hate this. I move thousands of miles away from my family for a reason. It was not to write about them in papers for class.

i've had some tasks of Creative Writing back in college. we were told to write anything about ourselves, our life, well my life is all sucky, i didnt go to college to write about my sucky life didnt i? but i have to write anyway to pass the subject

[googley]

Thank you everyone for your support. I wish I could just go to my professor and ask for another assignment, but I'm in graduate school and it doesn't work that way here. I do feel like the assignment is putting us in a double bind. I know I'm not the only student with problems with the paper, but I don't feel like I could bring it up. The paper is supposed to help us be more culturally competent, but I don't see how writing about my screwed up family is supposed to do that.

Justfloating- I am trying to write it from one step removed, but it is difficult. I've writen about 2/3 of it so far (the worst of it, I think). Now I just have to write about how my family experiences will affect my professional development. BLAH!

Once again, thank you all for your support. I would reply to all of you since you all have good ideas, but I have to get back to more reading.

Take care all!

[Naturefreak]

Googley, <------Me
Hugs ?

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((googley))))

Being in school myself and being a psychology major, I can say I understand completely. The classes I am taking are really pushing some buttons for me and it is hard to write especially when there is nothing to say.

I am finding out that many others are in the same situation as me. I have found that writing from my heart and being as open as I want to be and tying in things is helping a little. But I do understand and can feel your distress.

Please take care and write the best you can. I have confidence you will write a good paper. Just take your time and make sure you take care of you in the process. Do something kind for you. Take time out too.

I know it is hard. I hear you. And the last thing you went to school for was to write about your family. Just do the best you can. It will all fall into place.

I know the weekends are hard. I find myself shut down a lot on the weekends. Or I try to be. Weekends are hard and especially when you are alone and have to work on things that bring up some really bad feelings. Do you have anyone you can call on?

I do thank you for writing here. For reaching out to us. I know we are not there IRL, but we are here and reaching back to you through words and thoughts. We do care. We do understand.

Please keep posting and letting us know how you are doing. Take care and try to take breaks so you are not so bogged down with the paper. I know you can do this and we are here to encourage you.

Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts.

dps

[VickiesPath]

I don't know if this is going to help at all, googley. But here goes.

I learned that sometimes, ommission can be a great smoke screen.

You could write a comparative essay. Create an outline of several important family values. Give two examples of each value set. Compare the components of each value set. Then, at the end of each comparison, insert a small comment that your personal family values do not reflect either example and, at the request of your family, you will not be discussing your family values.

Bogus? Oh, well, I tried.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( googley )))))))))))))))))

[googley]

Originally Posted by Babysteps

Googley, <------Me
Hugs ?

Babysteps-
Thank you for the hugs. I always like hugs anytime. I'm feeling a little better now.

Originally Posted by darkpurplesecrets

((((googley))))

Being in school myself and being a psychology major, I can say I understand completely. The classes I am taking are really pushing some buttons for me and it is hard to write especially when there is nothing to say.

I am finding out that many others are in the same situation as me. I have found that writing from my heart and being as open as I want to be and tying in things is helping a little. But I do understand and can feel your distress.

Please take care and write the best you can. I have confidence you will write a good paper. Just take your time and make sure you take care of you in the process. Do something kind for you. Take time out too.

I know it is hard. I hear you. And the last thing you went to school for was to write about your family. Just do the best you can. It will all fall into place.

I know the weekends are hard. I find myself shut down a lot on the weekends. Or I try to be. Weekends are hard and especially when you are alone and have to work on things that bring up some really bad feelings. Do you have anyone you can call on?

I do thank you for writing here. For reaching out to us. I know we are not there IRL, but we are here and reaching back to you through words and thoughts. We do care. We do understand.

Please keep posting and letting us know how you are doing. Take care and try to take breaks so you are not so bogged down with the paper. I know you can do this and we are here to encourage you.

Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts.

dps

DPS-
Thanks for the caring. I'm glad someone else understands about the pressure of being asked to write about difficult issues. It is especially hard because of the recommendations I need from theses professors to go on and I'm afraid that stigma would get in the way.

Originally Posted by Vickie in Phoenix

I don't know if this is going to help at all, googley. But here goes.

I learned that sometimes, ommission can be a great smoke screen.

You could write a comparative essay. Create an outline of several important family values. Give two examples of each value set. Compare the components of each value set. Then, at the end of each comparison, insert a small comment that your personal family values do not reflect either example and, at the request of your family, you will not be discussing your family values.

Bogus? Oh, well, I tried.

Vickie-
Thanks for the idea. Sadly that is not the format that is set up for the paper.

Everyone- I finished the paper! I feel better for having it done. Thank you all for your support. However, in class last night my professor announced that we were going to share our papers in small groups in class next week . It was bad enough when I knew my professor was going to read it, but now I have to share it with other students. Hopefully I can just say that my family doesn't match the typical heritage and that will be enough. I'm worried that after she has us share in small groups she is going to make us share with the whole class. . Why is this just getting worse? I was very vague in the paper, but believe that someone could read between the lines. WHY?????? I hate this. I might go see if I can talk to my professor before class next week, but I don't know.

[lonegael]

First FANTASTIC that you finished it! Yay Googley. I remember this type of stuff in school. Believe me, google, I'm sure you are not the only one in the class who feels the way you do. There are an amazing number of people who have backgrounds that would curl anyone else's hair, and they all feel very alone about it. So if there is someone who reads between the lines, it is probably someone like you.
You do NOT have to supply more information than you want. If they insist, stand your ground. Yet, i really think it's going to be alright. If you want to talk to your professor, go ahead. It's a good idea, I think. If an assignment that he or she has insisted has to be done a certain way is causing so much pain, then I think they should know. Hang in there, hon. It won't go on forever.

[Berries]

Originally Posted by googley

Everyone- I finished the paper! I feel better for having it done. Thank you all for your support. However, in class last night my professor announced that we were going to share our papers in small groups in class next week . It was bad enough when I knew my professor was going to read it, but now I have to share it with other students. Hopefully I can just say that my family doesn't match the typical heritage and that will be enough. I'm worried that after she has us share in small groups she is going to make us share with the whole class. . Why is this just getting worse? I was very vague in the paper, but believe that someone could read between the lines. WHY?????? I hate this. I might go see if I can talk to my professor before class next week, but I don't know.

GOOD FOR YOU. you got it done.
I'll keep my fingers crossed about sharing it with the class.
I thinik you should talk to the professor.

[googley]

So now this stupid paper is keeping me awake. Our professor sent an email saying we have to focus especially on one part of it and I feel like I need to add more to the paper. I have a meeting with her tomorrow (well today now) so I might bring it up. I find it hard to connect to my family's values especially when I feel that their values they would say they have are so fake when it comes to caring about me. But it is great for them to look wonderful to everyone else. I'm not sure that I can explain how I got my values except by saying that my family was screwed up and mine are a rejection of theirs (kind-of). I don't know where mine came from. I just know I'm opinionated. Even more I don't know how to translate my screwed up family life into a paper on my professional ethics. I hate this paper! Too bad this was my favorite class before we got this assignment.

[Berries]

((((((((((Googley)))))))))))

Good luck at your meeting with your professor!