The Cloud

The cloud approaches, cold, dark, and familiar.
My walk in the sunshine has been pleasant, yet I don't belong there.
Dark is real. The cloud is real, and it calls to me.
I would like to surrender to its familiar embrace, to once more experience the depth of feeling that only the cloud brings.
Sunshine is warm, but it will never last. Night comes always.

Still, I rembember what it was like, life inside the cloud.
Cold and misery set in and soon grow oppressive.
Soon I would forget how sunshine feels.
There would be naught but the cloud, and I would not remember to search for light.
Though at first seeking feeling and depth, I would grow numb and uncaring, withdrawn from the world outside, stuck inside the cloud.

Who will search for me in the cloud and help me escape? Will anyone notice my absence?
The only way for me to break free of my prison is to feel again. The only thing I can feel is pain.

Why does the cloud call to me, appear attractive to me? Why do I long to go to it? Do I have a choice? How does one live in the sunshine?

<font color=blue>Life is filled with tragedy; if you let it overwhelm you, you cannot enjoy life's innocent pleasures. -Robert Heinlein</font color=blue>

Your cloud is familiar to you. The sunshine is not. You know how to act and feel in the cloud but not in the sunshine. Too many new and different feelings in the sunshine. The sunshine is as real as the cloud... they both pass, one into the other and back again.

The cloud is dark and opressive, no need to take action, you can't. Life in the sunshine requires action. It gets tiring to take action then the cloud becomes inviting. No need to take action. In the cloud all the emotion you need to feel is pain. In the sunshine, there is a rainbow of emotions to learn to deal with.

Anyone who cares for you will help you out of the cloud... but first, you need to let them know you are there and want help getting out.

Yes, you have a choice whether to go or stay. I will be the first to say "Please don't go! Stay among the living."

Your inner voice will tell you how to live in the sunshine. First, you need to fully feel it's warmth.

<font color=blue>This above all: To thine own self be true. --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

((((((((((((Rapunzel)))))))))))

You would be missed in the clouds... What would a field of wildflowers be with one less ? One less butterfly, one less bee, one less hummingbird... one less garden for all the worms and other critters we cant even see.

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius

You know, the first thing I thought when I read this was about your line, "sunshine is warm, but it will never last. Night always comes." I thought, well, gee...night never lasts, either...it is always banished by the day.

Maybe it's all just a matter of whether we are waiting for the night, or the day.

*hugs*
mj

I responded in the CC section, but wanted to say ty again for sharing that.

Mary Alice

Thanks, all of you. That cloud has been approaching for a few days and the closer it gets the more I want to let it catch me. It just seems attractive to me even though I know what its like and that I would get tired of it and not be able to get out of the cloud. Yesterday morning I really felt like giving in but knew that it was a bad idea. Last night I didn't feel like I had any control and it was going to be inevitable. But I'm a little better today. I feel funny though. It's hard to concentrate on anything, I forget to eat but don't get hungry, I just run out of energy. I would like to just sleep and maybe not wake up.

<font color=blue>Life is filled with tragedy; if you let it overwhelm you, you cannot enjoy life's innocent pleasures. -Robert Heinlein</font color=blue>

Aawwgh, {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Wendy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} = Thought you might need a HUG!! Fondly, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT </font color=blue>

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Peanut}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Thanks Peanut. I do need hugs.

-Wendy

<font color=blue>Life is filled with tragedy; if you let it overwhelm you, you cannot enjoy life's innocent pleasures. -Robert Heinlein</font color=blue>

Hi,

What you wrote says so much. You expressed yourself very well with those special words. But try not to go in the cloud, it is much to dark and lonely.

Take care of yourself!
Forgoten

Thanks. I know I would regret it if I did, but yesterday I really wanted to anyway. Not quite so much today. I think that writing it down helped.

<font color=blue>Life is filled with tragedy; if you let it overwhelm you, you cannot enjoy life's innocent pleasures. -Robert Heinlein</font color=blue>

<center>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Rapunzel}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}</center>

Lighting a candle for you, because the darkness cannot extinguish the light.

<font color=blue>This above all: To thine own self be true. --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

{{{{{{{{{Rapunzel}}}}}}}}}}

I have been thinking of you the past few days....I am hoping that you are seeing some sun peeking through.

Sending hugs and good thoughts to you.


Heather

You know what's frustrating? When I wrote that it was a cloudy day, but I didn't even notice that it was. The clouds started to clear out and I started to feel better. I noticed that it had been cloudy when I uploaded some pictures of the double rainbow we saw here to my website (you ought to look at the rainbow pictures - it was pretty cool!). So the weather has pretty close to absolute control over my emotional state and I don't necessarily even notice until the weather decides to let go of me again. I hate it!
And it's so embarassing to have to admit that.

<font color=blue>Life is filled with tragedy; if you let it overwhelm you, you cannot enjoy life's innocent pleasures. -Robert Heinlein</font color=blue>