[Berries]

I struggle with this a lot—functionality.
Why do some people with MI have the ability to have careers and some people with MI are on disability?
I am on disability and always have been. From age 18 to now, age 43. I have no kids either. I was always told by every professional I’ve been treated by, that I am disabled and cannot hold down a full time job. And in my gut, I know they are right.
But then I see other people with mental illnesses, having careers in their chosen fields, or just having full time jobs, and spouses and children.
I can’t even do the spouse and children thing.
I feel like such a failure in life. I feel so guilty and ashamed. A big ball of sick and failure.
Why????????

[idontknow13]

Berries, I dont have the answers you are looking for, I can only tell you you are not a failure, you are a kind and generous person. I dont believe success or failure can be measured by someone's job or marital status. My belief is that success is measured by the kindness you have been able to show others, giving of ourselves is also a priority on my list. Just being yourself, truly yourself, is on the + list.
Be kind to yourself and try to be best you can be, that is all you can do.
I have a job and I have a spouse and children but am I being true to myself??? Am I giving them what they deserve, I dont think so...I have tried but seems I always come up short. Right now I have someone in my life but I am wondering if it is for the right reasons so you see, what is good for some might not be good for everyone, I hope this makes sense to you.
I hope you feel better soon

[Naturefreak]

Berries

Those feelings are normal. I get them all the time myself.
I worked for 18 yrs and then my illness put a halt to it , about
7 years ago. I tried a couple times to return but just couldn't cope , mostly due to confusion and inability to concentrate.
I may one day get back to doing something .I don't really know that. I was thinking strongly about doing some volunteer work somewhere just to see if I could handle it.
Don't get down on yourself so much Berries. Always remember IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. I think the group therapy is a big step in the right direction for you. It may not turn out the way you would like it to ,but what does? You are trying and I am proud of you for that. Much love &hugs

Dealing with mental illness is not a competition. Functionality is relative. I strive to function at a higher level all the time. A higher level for me, however, may very well be a much lower level for someone else. We do what we may do. When we do better, there is reason for joy. Being grateful for little successes paves the way for more.

Yes, I would like to do what others are capable of. Just the same, I am better served by focusing on what I can do.

Be well.

[lonegael]

(((((((Berries))))))) The posts above are completely right, and I would only add this; that the situation is often not as simple as : A (mental illness)= B (Straight road to disability and loneliness).
Many people have more than one mental illness. PTSD, for example is often overrepresented with us bipolars. Add a tendency to develop other anxiety disorders, perhaps a dash of burnout, throw in a personality disorder (not thinking of anyone in particular, please, just theoretically), chronic pain, and a dysfuntional family where stress coping and problem solving were not real popular, and you have a person who will probably have a great deal of trouble getting a job, keeping it, and finding a mate who is able to understand him or her. This is just an exampåle, and this is without even taking the severity of each problem into account.
I have one, perhaps two MI diagnosis. I have a mild myofscielt syndrom (pain and functional trouble in an arm). Yes, it slowed me down very much getting through school, and unmedicated no, I would not have been justified in having children. My husband comes from a family with multiple MI issues (so I guess he thinks all women are like me) and so he to some extant is aware that not all I do is under my control.
(((((Berries)))))) you are not a person who is bad, weak or anything that you have accused your self of. You have the biological and developmental cards stacked against you, and you are still doing your best to be healthy and get out of the prison your illnesses have locked you in. It would be hideously unfair for someone to take you and me and say "But, Berries, you bad, stupid person, why aren't you like her?"
There is no comparison, dear. I would be utterly incapable of helping or reaching out or fighting in your position. I admire you. That's not just words. You keep fighting, even when you get discouraged. You have support and strength to lend us others when we need it. That is a wonderful, wonderful thing. So stop finding things to hassle yourelf about and stop comparing yourself to us lower lifeforms (or at least his one) and HHHHHHUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSS to the BERRIES!!!!!!

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Berries))))

You are so worth so much my friend. Just because you are not able to work and have a mental illness does not make you who you are. So many times, we let what others think become what we think of ourselves. You are kind, supportive, encouraging, a FRIEND, and I could go on.

I know that I cannot work. And I know it is tough. But if we thnk on the thongs that we cannot do instead of the things we can do it can get the best of us. Sure I wish I could work. But I cannot. I used to work, but for a long time now I have been unable to work. So I do what I can.

Have you thought of trying to take some classes? Or do you have any talents you could expound on? I know that you give everyone here so much support and encouragement. That is something that you should be proud of. And I know that I am glad that you give support and I get so much from what you say.

Hang in there my friend. You are doing just fine. Do not let this get to you. You are doing just fine. Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[trevorzero]

There won't be any words of wisdom from me today. Just try to love yourself for who you are - unique in the world.