[Miss_A]

I can't believe my mum doesn't respect my room my privecy. 12 o'clock to night she woke me up with a stupid hover in my room. I was going to tidy my room. It's not a big mess. She need to chill out! I told her to go away get lost. She wouldn't listen. Then I throwed my teddy bear across then wall. She's so self centred! I really want to move out when I'm 16 and I guess go, live at college. Dear god I haven't even thought what job I want when I'm older? Life is Depressing!

[Miss_A]

Then after she didn't even knock on the door when I said she can come in. Just to get some of her clothes out of my wardobe. I want her to f*** off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nothemama8]

Since her clothes were in your wardrobe, maybe she thought she could come in and retrive them without waking you.
Since it is her house and her clothesand you are her daughter she probably feels comfortable doing these things because she loves you
Angie.

[(JD)]

Hang in ther Miss A. If you are having these troubles living at home still, you aren't ready for the world outside yet.. Hopefully she loves you enough to not kick you out before you can learn enough to be safe on your own.

That's too bad that she has stuff in your room. Sounds like a misunderstanding to me about when and how to get at it, though. Can you two sit and discuss this one item? Agree for when it's ok, and when it's not and how you'd like her to treat your room area?

[Myzen]

Hi Miss A,

Gosh, do I know how you feel! We all need our own space and just because it's in your parent's house doesn't change that. I can remember sleeping in my car to get away from the intrusiveness of my parents.

Once I was a Dad myself I had two clear rules with my daughter. 1, never go into her room without knocking 2, never say anything about tidying up her room, or her choice of clothes or music. I buttoned my lip on those topics, and I am so glad I did.

Maybe you could have a talk with your parents, and make clear that you need some privacy, but my experience has been that the parents are slow on this kind of stuff. They can't seem to help themselves.

So many relationships are about 'control'. If only parents could realise that by letting go of short term control they can have a good long term relationship.

Cheers, Myzen

PS - Just had a chat with my wife, who is a social worker, and she says that 'tidying teenagers bedrooms' is an issue in almost every case that she deals with. No surprises there.

[wisewoman]

Miss A, I would not have woken my teen to vacuum. That sounds a bit odd unless you had promised to get to it and had not foloowed through. now, being the parent of some very opposite kids I can say that one of them is a slob and if I ever find her room the way I did a few weeks ago, drastic action is required. You know, it doesn't bother her to have trash and dirty dishes and clothes everywhere but in my own mind, because of my neglect, it bothers me beyond words. I wonder what your mother was feeling. Also, I have a daughter whose room is sterile. We could do an appendectomy in there. She has ocd so that is the other extreme. I don't know your mom, or your sit. I do however wonder if it's a possibility to speak with her about your concerns? That said, if it's not safe it just isn't. I remember being in the top bunk from my sister 6 years younger and sleeping upsidedown in the bed so I could see the stars. I remember the mother waking me up with violence telling me she would beat th stuffing out of me if I did that again because the window was a good way for me to get sick. Some parents we can speak with and some we can't. Please try to be patient with yours, maybe they are like a lot of us here just trying to do the right thing and losing their way. My kids tell me when I mess up.

[Miss_A]

Oh it's not that. I do like my mum, but I don't like it when she doesn't just.... (look at my advator). Any how I'm sorry your mum theaten you for being sick. Also I don't need to tell her if she mess's up, because she already knows it! Well ending conversation about my mum.