Confidence

Where does it come from? How can I get it? CAN I even get it? I am not the person I want to be. The person I want to be is confident, decides she wants to do something then DOES it, isn't afraid to speak her mind or take a chance, doesn't care what other people think and isn't constantly paralysed by fear and self-loathing...

I'm trying to replace the negative tapes with more positive ones. I'm trying to go easy on myself. I'm trying to get on despite my fear. But at the end of the day, more often than not, I still have zero confidence in my abilities, zero respect for myself, zero hope that I'm ever going to be the person I want to be. Nothing's helping, not getting involved, not meeting new people, not expanding my interests or trying to stay positive. I know some supremely confident people and I have to say that I'm incredibly jealous. I don't know how they do it. It's not that they never mess up or make mistakes, it's just that they don't seem to care if they do. Logically I know that everyone makes mistakes, that most of my errors probably go unnoticed by the general population and that nobody is harder on me than myself. But I'm so easily overwhelmed by embarrassment. I'm constantly asking myself what others will think, what they're thinking of me now ... I'm uncomfortable more often than not and I hate that. I don't think I was always this way, at least I used to be a lot more confident. I used to be able to stand on a stage and sing and dance and act. I could speak my mind just about anywhere and I wasn't ashamed of it if my ideas differed from everyone else's. I had a wide circle of friends and I was convinced that I could do anything I set my mind to. Now that's all gone and I can't figure out why. I can't figure out why I CARE so much what other people think. I didn't used to. I wish I could go back to the way I was before I got so screwed up.

(((((((((((justfloating)))))))))))

A hundred years ago I was that person--full of confidence, had friends, and had a future full of posibilities.

Then I got sick and it ruined everything.

No words of wisdom or advice, just--I can relate.

(((((((((((( justfloating ))))))))))))))
I hear you.. wish I had answers.

I don't know either. But I know what it is like. I was wondering how your newsletter was going?

In one or two sentences describe the person you want to be.

(((((just floating))))) I realize that I am usually that person, but it comes and goes,and I can't really tell you why, or how I can control that. All I can say is that there is a side of you that is a lot more courageous than you admit that you are. Try giving that person the permission to come out without asking everyone else for that permission. Hope I am understandable Huggss

Sorry, I must check in here as another member of the "Self-confidence? What's that?" club.

With that, it is true that in the past I successfully functioned at a certain level for some time without any sense of self-confidence. It wasn't easy and what limited successes I had then did not feed or rebuild my self-confidence.

You, Justfloating, are youthful and have a boundless passion for writing. Your chances for gaining a healthy sense of self-efficacy are great.

Justfloating...I wish I knew were to get some of that.
You won't find it on ebay.
Sorry , I know how hard it is to lack self-confidence. It's not fun.
Hugs

least I used to be a lot more confident. I used to be able to stand on a stage and sing and dance and act. I could speak my mind just about anywhere and I wasn't ashamed of it if my ideas differed from everyone else's. I had a wide circle of friends and I was convinced that I could do anything I set my mind to. Now that's all gone and I can't figure out why. I can't figure out why I CARE so much what other people think. I didn't used to. I wish I could go back to the way I was before I got so screwed up. [/quote]

Those traits, abilities aren't lost or gone....they are simply walled off . All this means is you do have confidence! You simply need to , one baby step at a time, find it again. I believe you can. I beleive you will. Start by saying "i am a confident person". keep saying it til you begin to believe. Good luck and blessings!

(((((((Justfloating)))))))