It's Back

Naturefreak · Dec 15, 2009, 06:00 PM

The anger and rage is back.

My father was singing silent night before his nightly trek out . Every night is a ****** silent night to me.
I'm scared this is going to turn into something bad.
The dogs are terrified of me. Why is this happening?
I'm holding together as best I can.

Miracle1986 · Dec 15, 2009, 06:03 PM

(((Babysteps)))

Rohag · Dec 15, 2009, 06:41 PM

((((((( Babysteps! )))))))

What would be best for you right now? Relaxation? Comedy? Serious subject? Distraction?

Monsieur · Dec 15, 2009, 08:03 PM

(((((((((((((((Babysteps)))))))))))))))

Music seems to be a pretty good distraction, not sad or depression oriented songs though.

dogwood · Dec 15, 2009, 08:54 PM

I must agree, music is very calming, Also walking or some kind of excercise. Another thing that helps is journaling.

googley · Dec 15, 2009, 08:59 PM

((((((Babysteps)))))
Can you get out of the house and go for a walk or a run? I find exercise helps when I am really angry. We are here for you if you need to vent about why you are angry. Take care of yourself.

idontknow13 · Dec 15, 2009, 09:21 PM

(((((((Babysteps)))))))

Naturefreak · Dec 15, 2009, 10:55 PM

I went for a long walk by myself just after I posted this. It helped .
I wish I could skip xmas. I'm not scrooge , I gave to the food bank.

lynn P. · Dec 15, 2009, 11:42 PM

Happy the walk helped a little. I think December is the most stressful month even for people without issues. When you think of it, many people all over the world don't celebrate because Christmas isn't their holiday. The real meaning of Christmas is simply the birth of Jesus. How it ever became this commercial nightmare, I'll never know. The pressure we feel is created by our culture/religion and the commercial forces. For people who don't celebrate the holiday - it's just another day. So you might want to think about re-framing the idea of Christmas and put it in it's most simplistic form - forget about what you see on TV or the past. You could even forget about it completely if you want. I've thought about going to the mission to help serve Christmas dinner or you could go to midnight mass to acknowledge the birth of Jesus.

Fuzzybear · Dec 15, 2009, 11:55 PM

(((((((((((((( Babysteps ))))))))))))))))

Dec 16, 2009, 12:38 AM

Thinking of you, Babysteps.

Naturefreak · Dec 16, 2009, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lynn P.

Happy the walk helped a little. I think December is the most stressful month even for people without issues. When you think of it, many people all over the world don't celebrate because Christmas isn't their holiday. The real meaning of Christmas is simply the birth of Jesus. How it ever became this commercial nightmare, I'll never know. The pressure we feel is created by our culture/religion and the commercial forces. For people who don't celebrate the holiday - it's just another day. So you might want to think about re-framing the idea of Christmas and put it in it's most simplistic form - forget about what you see on TV or the past. You could even forget about it completely if you want. I've thought about going to the mission to help serve Christmas dinner or you could go to midnight mass to acknowledge the birth of Jesus.

Thanks so much Lynn. That was very good advice.

lonegael · Dec 16, 2009, 01:56 PM

Can't beat Lynn P. on advice! I have some, but I might PM you. OK? Hang in there. It's a rough time of the year but we can make it through. HUUUUUUGGGGGGSSSSS!

lynn P. · Dec 16, 2009, 03:11 PM

I say we start protesting to have December erased from calenders or we could change the name to Depression Month or Tear Your Hair Out month

crystalrose · Dec 16, 2009, 03:47 PM

Oh

but thats my birthday month. Oh well i'l have to be the 30 of november instead.
Seriously though i'm freaking out too. Too much to do and christmas is next week
Too much, too quickly.

Berries · Dec 16, 2009, 04:00 PM

(((((((((((Babysteps)))))))))))

Sorry the rage is filling you up right now. I think it will pass just by waiting it out.

In the meantime, have you ever screamed into your pillow? Beat your pillow up? Sometimes that is helpful. You can even turn your pillow into someone or something. Just a thought.

I hope you feel more peaceful really soon.

I care about you a great deal as do the rest of PC.

Wishing you comfort and a sense of safety.

lynn P. · Dec 16, 2009, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crystalrose

Oh

but thats my birthday month. Oh well i'l have to be the 30 of november instead.
Seriously though i'm freaking out too. Too much to do and christmas is next week
Too much, too quickly.

LOL Crystalrose - let me tell you why it's 'pull yur hair out month' for me. oldest daughters birthday Dec. 28
youngest daughters birthday Jan6 - still reeling and exhausted from the hoopla of Dec 25 and Jan1.

Pomegranate · Dec 16, 2009, 05:39 PM

Skip xmas. That's what my husband and I do pretty much. We don't have any decorations or family visits, etc. We go out to eat, go out to the movies, stock up on special food we like/make a nice dinner on the holiday. Also go for walks with our dogs, go for car rides, watch special TV programs, whatever.

Your father seems to be a big trigger for you. Try to ignore him as much as possible. Don't expect ANYTHING from him. Take care of yourself, live in the present, do what makes you feel better. It sounds like you are in a toxic relationship with your father. The more distance, physically and/or emotionally you can put between the two of you, the better you will feel.

Naturefreak · Dec 16, 2009, 09:15 PM

THANKS Y'ALL

MUCHLY APPRECIATED OR MUCHO GRATIOUS

*freak* · Dec 17, 2009, 02:39 PM

I see you already got lots of excellent advice, so I'll just add some hugs

And sorry I'm late...

Berries · Dec 19, 2009, 10:21 AM

(((((((((((babysteps))))))))))

How are you doing? How is the rage?

Naturefreak · Dec 19, 2009, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berries

(((((((((((babysteps))))))))))

How are you doing? How is the rage?

It was gone after I took that walk that night. It just comes out of nowhere. Thanks for asking Berries.

lonegael · Dec 19, 2009, 03:41 PM

I'm glad (((((((Babysteps)))))))). hang in there. Huggs!

VickiesPath · Dec 19, 2009, 04:41 PM

At the risk of being sanctioned, Christmas actually isn't Christmas. It's only a designated day. On second thought, maybe I had better also PM you. I know how the anger thing can get. I cannot imagine what it must be like for you, Chris, with having to live day to day with the exposure to your triggers.

Hang in there. You are learning good self-care.