[chrise]

Im tired of the daily struggle. Watching people be happy and knowing its been a long time since i have. My thoughts are always dark. Ive beeen in the hospital countless times and its the only place i feel safe. How sad is that. If been on countless pills and in therapy. Nothing seems to be working. Its very tiring when everyday is a struggle just to stay alive.

[Miracle1986]

I am in the same boat.

[Naturefreak]

Originally Posted by chrise

Im tired of the daily struggle. Watching people be happy and knowing its been a long time since i have. My thoughts are always dark. Ive beeen in the hospital countless times and its the only place i feel safe. How sad is that. If been on countless pills and in therapy. Nothing seems to be working. Its very tiring when everyday is a struggle just to stay alive.

I feel much the same way chrise. Have been off and on for years. You can't change what others do . You see them happy , and you want to be happy . I bet you they have sad times too . It just seems like you can't be happy . What would make you happy? Make a list of the things you would like in your life that you think would make you happy. Then try to achieve one of them at a time. Take it slow . If you fail , try again. I don't have the answer for your happiness.
Only you know that . Hang in there . The fact that you're struggling to stay alive is good. Not so much the struggling , but the staying alive. Take care

[sanityseeker]

I hear you and I share your disappointment, frustration and the exhaustion of the day to day struggle. It is harsh to say the least.

One thing I do for myself is make a list every morning of the things I am grateful for. Somedays the list is pretty pityful. Grateful that I have legs so I can walk or arms and hands so I can wipe my own butt. Talk about desperate for finding something in my existance to be grateful for but at least it is something. It reminds me there are some people in this world who are in fact worse off than me and that in turn can motivate me to make use of those things I am grateful for in my life.

I take my legs out for a walk for example. Or I use my hands and my creativity to knit a hat or rearrange the furniture in the living room. Or I phone my dad to say hello and it reminds me how lucky I am to still have a parent in my life.

Gratitude is something we can always call upon at a moments notice and can rely upon to lift us up and put some light on the darkness of the moment. It can help to take our minds off the things that we feel badly about and give us a moment of peace knowing we have something to be grateful for in our lives.

Gratitude is good medicine. I am grateful to you for sharing and allowing us to be here with you.

[chrise]

it feels like my boat has sprung a leak. i need a life perserver because im going down for the 3rd time.

[sanityseeker]

Let us be your life preserver hun. Talk it out. It will help to talk it out. I am listening. I am here.

[sanityseeker]

Hi Chrise..... how are you doing? I sent you a PM but thought I would post here again as well. Please know you are not alone and that things will get better. I wonder if you have been sleeping well enough because I know for me lack of sleep can really darken my thinking and do a number on my outlook.

Speaking of sleep I need to turn my mind to sleeping soon here but just wanted to encourage you again to talk to us here and allow us to hold you up through this trying time.

Wishing you well. Blessings......

[lonegael]

(((((((Chrise))))))))

[thine_self_untrue]

Hang in there, friend.

[nvrlvagain]

I Understand exactly what you mean. It's like ur a prisoner in your head. What frustrates me the most is how people say. Well why don't you take a walk and take time out for yourself. I don't know about you but the worst thing for me is to be alone with my own thoughts. But, no one rstands that. And how they don't go away until another thought fills it. Good luck and I hope you feel better. I know it doesn't seem like it, but the sun will shine inyour direction again in time. Take care wish you the best.

Originally Posted by chrise

Im tired of the daily struggle. Watching people be happy and knowing its been a long time since i have. My thoughts are always dark. Ive beeen in the hospital countless times and its the only place i feel safe. How sad is that. If been on countless pills and in therapy. Nothing seems to be working. Its very tiring when everyday is a struggle just to stay alive.

[nvrlvagain]

I know it seems like there's no help or hope. And in a sense its just that we wish we could live anormal life. But its a struggle to get through everyday. Hang in there the chqanging of the seasons do not help. Keep your head up. There will be brighter days.

There are a multitude of people here who have experienced depression. Walking does a number of things, it gets you out of the house, it is great exercise, and, if you focus on what you see while walking, it takes the focus off yourself.

Isolation and focusing on yourself are not helpful. Have you considered volunteering? You will be out of the house, focusing on helping others and engendering some meaning into your life.

[chrise]

i already go for walks when the weather allows. i also attend a partial hospitalization program. im in therapy 2x a week and i have 4 children. so i do stay out of my head most of the time. i still find it very difficult on a daily basis just to do what i need to do. and stay out of the hospital.

[sanityseeker]

I know how you feel... if that helps at all. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I am feeling more up the last few days and it is a nice break from the misery that often controls my every thought and action. I hope you can see some light in the darkness today. Laugh therapy and self pampering can sometimes be a source of relief for me when the going is tough. Especially if it has been for an extended period of time. I just need to find a way to escape myself sometimes and I go digging into my bag of tricks until something works. Here for you.

[Stranger2]

I know how you feel.. I have been in the hospital ten times Over the years...Have you given the meds time to work??They take six to eight weeks before they start helping.. Sometimes They have to add more meds to get you stable..I'm on a regimine of seven meds thru out the day..Therapy also helps quite a bit..

[No_longer_sane]

I know how you feel, every day is so painful and I just want it to end, but Im too scared to end it myself.