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Old Jan 22, 2010, 12:54 PM
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cantstopcrying cantstopcrying is offline
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Was cleaning out a little room today because we are remodeling our bathroom and came across some pictures of D (my ex-fiance that killed himself in November) and a photo album oh is from when he was little. Looking at the pictures of us, we looked happy (of course, who takes pictures when they are arguing or hurting!), HE looked happy, he broke my heart, why did he have to do it, looking at him just hurts knowing how much he hurt and he didn't reach out and why didn't he?!!? Anyway, it just still makes me so sad.
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  #2  
Old Jan 22, 2010, 01:20 PM
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lynn P. lynn P. is offline
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(((can'tstopcrying))) - I'm so sorry you have to endure this pain. I also lost a brother to suicide -it will be 2 yrs this April. So this just happend 3 months ago? I certainly understand your sadness. It's very normal to feel many different emotions and to feel very confused. Sometimes I don't think we can ever understand what they were thinking or try to make sense of it because they were sick - not thinking logically. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
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  #3  
Old Jan 22, 2010, 01:23 PM
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cantstopcrying cantstopcrying is offline
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Thank you. Yes, this just happened in November. We had been apart for a year, but still talked daily, still intertwined. I wish we had just one more day, one more hour, to find out why. Except then when it was over we have the fresh wound of their absence. There is just no easy way.
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"We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
Still sad
Thanks for this!
lynn P.
  #4  
Old Jan 22, 2010, 01:29 PM
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lynn P. lynn P. is offline
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I know how you feel ((Can'tstopcrying)). Was he being treated for depression and did he leave a note? When you said "I wish I had one more day, one more hour to find out why" - I think this is a good reminder to teach us to live in the moment. So sorry for your pain.
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*Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts.
*Make your mess, your message.
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  #5  
Old Jan 22, 2010, 01:31 PM
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((((((csc)))))))

I am very sorry for such a fresh wound in your life. I haven't good words, but I do give wrap around, strong hugs. Consider yourself hugged.
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notz
Thanks for this!
cantstopcrying, lynn P.
  #6  
Old Jan 22, 2010, 01:38 PM
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cantstopcrying cantstopcrying is offline
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No note and he wasn't the kind to seek treatment. Thank you guys for the support and hugs. It makes me mad, it makes me sad, it makes me cry that I get mad at him, it makes me cry that, on this Earth, in the day to day things, I won't talk to him. I can't call him to tell him what college Tori decided on, can't call him to tell him how Kaity's cardiology appointment went. Things like that. It hurts so much. And not just for those reasons, but it hurts just thinking about how much pain he was in, how sad, how hurt he had to have been.
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"We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
Still sad
Thanks for this!
lynn P.
  #7  
Old Jan 22, 2010, 02:29 PM
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amante amante is offline
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cantstopcrying,
the photo album was bound to bring up the wonderful memories of you and the tears that come along with losing someone special. take your time in grieving, it's still so fresh for you.
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Thanks for this!
cantstopcrying
  #8  
Old Jan 22, 2010, 08:44 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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