[wisewoman]

I pray, ask speak aloud my wish my need. I wish to be able to see the trees without the view obstructed by my twisted development, torture and depression. I wish to see the water as I once saw it, magical and pure. I wish I knew how to play, really play, like a child. I wish I knew how to be in the world and still hold myself. I wish that everything in life was not so difficult, peace sometimes. I wish for the freedom to roam and think without responsibility, and without being afraid of the danged snakes. I wish my mind could touch the beauty I know is around me. I wish I could be in the world the magical child once knew all too briefly.

[gardenergirl]

I wish I could somehow grant your wish...

(((((ww)))))

gg

if i could, i'd come to your house, with a load of cookies and tea and we'd tiptoe down the garden path and play all afternoon.....xoxo pat

[severelyunhinged]

That was beautiful. You put into words a few of my thoughts and feelings. I hope at least your wishes come true, cause Im pretty sure mine arent. : (

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((((((WW)))))))))))))))))))

I have often felt the same way. Losing touch with me. Beauty and my inner child. It's hard, sad and scary. I have a few suggestions and I hope you dont think I am weird but these are things that I have done to put me back in touch with some of those things that you mentioned.

Try driving around in you care. Music loud. Any kind of music. For me it was the 80's and 90's (My era) and I would blast it loud and sing along just as loud. In my head it takes me back to my teen age years. Not caring about the world around me, just in the moment and loving it.

Go in your back yard. Lay down in the grass and look up at the sun (not directly at it) and close your eyes. Smell the flowers, smell the air, listen to the birds Really listen to life. Open your eyes and look at the clouds. Life is all around you and so peaceful.
Now try the same thing at. Look at the stars. The planes flying in the sky. The smell of summer.

Take a walk. A long walk. When you think no one is looking, start skipping like you did when you were a kid. When you notice someone is looking, keep on skipping. Who cares. Feeling the freeness that you once felt. Skip all over your neighborhood. Who cares who sees you. You will feel good. Beleive me.

I hope I have helped you and you dont think I am crazy (er). I think what your feeling is natural. Sometimes though, we need to take time out and act a little goofy. Start a food fight with the kids. Outta the blue, throw some potato salad at someones face. Laugh. Be goofy. It is ok. I promise.

Much love to ya!!!!

[somebodyelse]

((((((((((wisewoman))))))))))

Here's hoping that your wishes come true.

[wisewoman]

food fight I can do, all good words of wisdom. I need to MAKE myself be alive. Thanks, it's harder then it sounds. Tiny successes.

when i saw my psych doc the first time, she said, "what's wrong with you?"...my reply was, "i've lost my joy"..... i wonder where it went and when did we lose it? people used to talk about my joy. i'm going to find it, if it takes me the rest of my life.

[wisewoman]

Yes, need to have joy in each day, purposeful. The joy of the cold water on my head in the lake, the joy of just a sky in that moment when you are so in that moment that you have no anxiety.

[darkeyes]

This is beautifully put, expressing your feelings, sharing your heart with us.
I wish I could make your wishes come true, some of mine are identical to yours.

(((((((((((((((((( wisewoman ))))))))))))))

[complic8d]

(((((wisewoman))))) How beautiful. I know what it's like to not know joy, I am still looking, or trying to feel it.
Snakes??? Do you have a snake phobia? I do not dare leave my back deck or front porch. I would love to go hiking, I love nature. But, you're right, the "danged snakes" won't let me (of course it's my fear, but you know).
Hope you find your way to joy! HUGS!

[wisewoman]

Me no like snakes. Thanks for the understanding all. Please help me to work at it.