latley.. i've wished so badly to be someone else. A happy person, one who experiences the world positively and joyously. Depression is such a challenge of the will. - not that im saying we can change depression. but my will to have an attitude that is not defeatest. Its difficult to find the beauty in life when inside your emotions are varying shades of grey. Lately .. Ive been trying to tell myself, that this depression is a challenge to my soul, to lean on God, establish value to the sanctity of life, and help others. Its so hard tho.

Does anyone ever feel like their heart is being cut with small delicate cuts? Its burning and aches but all you can do is continue through life because its invisible.

[severelyunhinged]

Im always wishing I was someone else myself. Someone with the ability to function normally, someone who doesnt have to deal with all this turmoil I have inside, someone who can just be free and at peace with himself and the world.
I really wish I could change places with someone else for at least a day.
I keep going for some odd reason that I dont know, eventho my heart is constantly breaking when I realize this life of mine will probably never change for the better and as a matter of fact, it will only get worse.

Enough rambling. Sorry.

[cat_eye]

oh yes, I know that burning and achy feeling. We've just gotta keep going and not let the icky depression control us.

[complic8d]

Oh, to be able to fill that horrible empty, aching void in my chest! I do understand and wish I did not have that, but if I did not then I guess I also would not be me, as I am right now. So, yes, I would like to be someone else who doesn't feel that way. Seeing it as a challenge in life is one way to make it feel positive. I guess we all have to be stronger for what we have been, and are, going through.

[designs]

I can so relate to all of the above posts and what makes it so hard for me is that up until 6 months ago I was the person I wanted to be. I cannot believe that this is the way I will live the rest of my life. I do not want to live the rest of my life like this. I became depressed due to many stressful things that happened all at once including returning to work after 7 years of retirement. I freaked out and had to quite after two months, but that did not make things better...I continued to become more and more depressed and am now on the 5th anti-depresant, going to therapy, using a CPAP machine to sleep...None of tht seems to be working or at least, not working very quickly. I hate this life and am worried about the effect on my marriage. I do not work now , but do almost nothing every day. I also seem to check this board too much. Thanks for listening or reading.

(((((((((((((designs)))))))))))))))