[cafegrrrl]

I keep having bad thoughts. My counselor asked today if i was having them. I told her i was and she asked the required questions. I told her the truth, kind of. I left out how often these thoughts keep popping into my head.

she asked if i'd considered going to the hospital. i told her I had but because i do'nt know what happens there and i'm sure one can't smoke, I probably wouldn't go. But, these thoughts are driving me crazy...

how does one know when it's time to go to the hospital? and, what does one say when they get there? Sometimes, my thoughts begin to scare me...i forgot to tell her that too...

I'm just tired of feeling soooooooo badly....

[(JD)]

Every hospital ward like that I know of has a patio or such for smoking. It's a hassle to get the cigarette lit, but those that smoked didn't mind.

Stay in touch with your doctor through this tough time, ok?

Hospitals are for stablizing you when you can't cope with your real life. They give doctors time to try new medications with you, and a chance to reevaluate your therapy program for when you are ready to leave. Generally it's a week or two...if you don't wait until your whole life feels like it's gone down the drain.
When you feel you can't live your life as you have it now, then that's a good time to go to hospital. Like I said, make sure you keep in touch with your T.

Since your counselor asked whether you would consider inpatient treatment without the benefit of full disclosure, I hope you give it some serious thought. As you know, thoughts of harming yourself are serious business.

Good luck.

[msolson81]

I'm sorry you are going through this cafegrrrl

I was having thoughts that scared me as well. When my thoughts changed from "maybe it would be better if I just went to sleep and didn't wake up," to "maybe I'd be better off if I just took this bottle of pills," I knew it was out of my control and I needed help. I admitted myself to the hospital and it was the best decision I could have made.

Every hospital or floor is different in terms of what they allow. For example, the floor I was on, you could not leave the floor. On other floors, they had different
expectations.

If you are thinking of hurting yourself, please seek help. You will be glad you did.

[Mini moo]

Originally Posted by cafegrrrl

I keep having bad thoughts. My counselor asked today if i was having them. I told her i was and she asked the required questions. I told her the truth, kind of. I left out how often these thoughts keep popping into my head.

she asked if i'd considered going to the hospital. i told her I had but because i do'nt know what happens there and i'm sure one can't smoke, I probably wouldn't go. But, these thoughts are driving me crazy...

how does one know when it's time to go to the hospital? and, what does one say when they get there? Sometimes, my thoughts begin to scare me...i forgot to tell her that too...

I'm just tired of feeling soooooooo badly....

I can completely relate. if you want to talk more, Im, Text, call, aim, e-mail or private message me. just private message me and as 4 my number and i will give it to you. you call/text whenever. I am trying yo hold on and want to help others as well.

[cafegrrrl]

I'm afraid of going to the hospital because i don't know what would happen once i got there.

Also, my mom can't drive and wouldn't have anyone to pick up her prescriptions and run her errands. and I don't know what my family would think of me or how they'd react to everything...

[Mini moo]

----Cafegrrrl

I have the same fears about all of that and more. (My mother isn't really allowed to drive either--Strokes)

But I think I might have to go to the hospital soon. especially today. But which one are we more afraid of:
1)What people/family will think?
2)What will happen if/when we go to the hospital?
3)or What will happen if we procrastinate too long/don't go?

[cafegrrrl]

I'm afraid of all 3.

But, I decided that tomorrow when i see my social worker, i may just tell her how badly i really am feeling. I'm starting to get scared by my own thoughts. I'm just tired of it all....

Originally Posted by Mini moo

----Cafegrrrl

I have the same fears about all of that and more. (My mother isn't really allowed to drive either--Strokes)

But I think I might have to go to the hospital soon. especially today. But which one are we more afraid of:
1)What people/family will think?
2)What will happen if/when we go to the hospital?
3)or What will happen if we procrastinate too long/don't go?

Good luck, cafegrrrl. I hope you find a way to get the help you need.

[cafegrrrl]

I'm just scared....and tonight's going to be a loooonnnngggg and sloooowwww night. I don';t know what i'm going to do with myself.....

[lonegael]

Cafegrrl! First, big huggs and then a quite little one. I think your idea to talk to the socia lworker is good. You might be able to work out something for your mom while you are away. I mean, I remember when i was really ill and sould have gone to a hospital, but didn't because I was afraid of all things that you are. Now, looking back, I realize how much of that fear was from the illness itself. I needed help, and nothing that I was afraid of was actuallly worse than that I was going through. I was not in a position to evaluate my decision at that point. As it was, treating my actual illness was put off for nearly ten years, my family suffered unnecessarily seeing me suffer.
I know it sounds harsh, but it wasn't meant to be. It is so easy to be afraid of change, and deprssion makes it even worse by telling us to expect the worst. Mostof the tim, he's lying. HUggs, and I really hope you are making it through the night OK.