[DiNozzo]

as i am new i thought i would try and let you through my mask of normality lol.
i suppose i have been suffering from depression for many years but i just didnt realise it untill about 4 years ago, until then i wasnt unhappy but i wasnt happy if you get me, i just went through the motions.
then there was a big upheaval in my life when my long term partner ended it which forced me out with nothing.
i didnt know what was worse, dealing with the break up or the total change of my life and what to do next, i dont like big change.
one year later i lost my job and then my struggles became harder untill they were too much, not much of a home, no job, no money and no future as i could see. i was a let down to myself, my friends and my family.
i couldnt even take my kids to the movies !!
alcohol and a messed up attempt followed, then medication, therapy and a realisation that something needed to change......me.
now i am not on meds and dealing with things my own way, one day i will get there.
thats the short version, doesnt seem much but to me it has been hell but then all pain is relative so they say.

now each day is still a struggle but i am working thru it.

[Rohag]

Hi, DiNozzo! Wow. You are dealing with a lot on top of depression. For you to be able to say, "...each day is still a struggle but i am working thru it" is a testimony to your inner strength. Of course, no matter how much inner strength one has doesn't mean one isn't in significant pain.

Originally Posted by DiNozzo

now i am not on meds and dealing with things my own way, one day i will get there.

When or if you feel comfortable doing so, I'd like to learn some of the details of your own way of dealing with depression. Thank you.

[gary291]

Originally Posted by DiNozzo

as i am new i thought i would try and let you through my mask of normality lol.
i suppose i have been suffering from depression for many years but i just didnt realise it untill about 4 years ago, until then i wasnt unhappy but i wasnt happy if you get me, i just went through the motions.
then there was a big upheaval in my life when my long term partner ended it which forced me out with nothing.
i didnt know what was worse, dealing with the break up or the total change of my life and what to do next, i dont like big change.
one year later i lost my job and then my struggles became harder untill they were too much, not much of a home, no job, no money and no future as i could see. i was a let down to myself, my friends and my family.
i couldnt even take my kids to the movies !!
alcohol and a messed up attempt followed, then medication, therapy and a realisation that something needed to change......me.
now i am not on meds and dealing with things my own way, one day i will get there.
thats the short version, doesnt seem much but to me it has been hell but then all pain is relative so they say.

now each day is still a struggle but i am working thru it.

I feel like I can relate to your Depression and the things on top of it, When we moved house, I left my friends behind and found I had a new life, but a lonely life at that. I dont make friends easily which was a problem for me, In april 2008, my big brother passed away and its just my sister and I left. It was the first funeral I had ever been to and it was his I can't begin to explain how I feel about that but one work will sum it up, destroyed. Everything I knew and stood for fell appart and suddenly I was left standing on my own in this dark place, And when I try to climb out, a step in the ladder breaks, The reason I found this site was pure chance, This morning in the very early hours I was planning to end my life, Looking for the best way. Then I seen a website which advised putting a space between me and action. It has worked for now, because I am here now. But the problems don't go away, In my eyes, It has just suspended my intentions for a while. I am 20, And I am from Scotland in the uk, I realise this site has mainly US people. But Im getting the hang of using it. What im saying is, I know how it feels to be depressed, and then things come along at make it worse by 1000000% it is crazy to even think you can manage on your own, But look, havent you found a friend on here? We are all the same in a way. Which is why we are under Depression now. No matter how lonely you feel or alone you think you are, You are here, Talking to everyone who will support you. *hugs* x Gary x

Congratulations on what you have been able to accomplish under such trying circumstances.

Pax vobiscum.