How to Help my Sister

Hi,
My sister, who's 8, is having a lot of trouble with her father. He left when she was 1 and has treated her like a second class member of his family ever since. Things have always been hard that way, and she's been mad at him before, but now she doesn't want to see him ever again, because he's taking his new wife and son to Jamaca to visit his mother. She feels like he hates her, and when mom broached the subject with him, he said he didn't care. She doesn't want to go to his house anymore, and I can understand that. My question is, how do I help her? My dad and I didn't get along either, and him and I had a crappy relationship, so I know I'm the only one who really knows what to say to her, I just don't know how to talk to her. She's very young and very sensative. This is far too much for her to deal with. Help? I hate to see her suffer.

I don't know how much help this will be, but I think based on what you said above that you do really know what she needs deep down; she needs what you needed when you went through the same thing. There is no right or wrong thing to say in my opinion, just be there for her. Spend some time with her, let her know you love her, and let her talk when she is ready. You clearly love her very much and she is lucky to have you

Take care,

*Willow*

you can understand her point of view, father leaving situation. just remember what you were like at that time and what you wish people had done for you. if things aren't going to get better between daughter and father, then you have to let go. just always let her know that you are there to stay! let her know that you won't leave and that you love her and care about her.

people NEED to hear those comments often. in tough situations, it reminds us that we are not struggling alone, that someone is beside us the whole way. plan some 'fun' days with her, whatever you guys like to do - make a day of it. make her laugh and smile as much as possible.

i'm actually on the other side of the table from you - i've been on the 'outside' of my family most of my life. there were a lot of times that i wish i had someone like you with me. your sister may not know it, but you being with her right now is a blessing in so many ways...