[CyrusTheVirus]

I was diagnosed with depression back in 2006, since then I was under the care of my GP, CPN, psychologist & numerous psychiatrists.

Last year I decided to take a break from all professional help, it's been almost a year since I seen my GP, CPN & psychologist. My last psych appt was in October & I was discharged from her care then. If I'm being honest I wasn't ready to be discharged but it was something I fought for, partly because they weren't helping me at that point & partly because I wanted to see if I was strong enough to 'go it alone'.

With hindsight it wasn't my greatest decision. So on Friday I am going to see my GP & to say I am terrified is probably an understatement. I am so apprehensive about the whole thing. I feel like such a failure, what will they think of me going back & seeking help so soon after being discharged?

I also have a few things on my mind, even though I am depressed there's been a few incidents where I have acted completely out of character. I am so ashamed regarding things that happened & things that I done. I've never spoke about it with anyone before, the only people that know are the people who were in my company at that time(s).

Is it worth mentioning these 'incidents' to the doctor or am I just making mountains out of molehills? And if I do mention them will they not wonder why I didn't mention them at the time?

Argh I feel like my head is about to explode with all this crap. Thanks for letting me vent a little.

Cyrus xx

[Pomegranate]

If you really feel the need to talk about those incidents then do so. Otherwise I would just talk about what is going on with you NOW. Let the doc know you feel you left treatment too soon, but you wanted to see how well you did on your own, and that now you know you aren't doing well at all. If you seek the help you need you will find it.

[Mike_J]

I have some truely humilliating events and or thoughts that I have told my therapist. Really thought I was going to die from embarrasment as I struggled through relating these items to her. And after I had a bit of time to reflect I'm glad I told her, regret every time I have tried to explain to anyone else, but I'm glad I opened up fully to someone.

[Naturefreak]

CyrusTheVirus
That's why we are here , to listen to you vent .
Pom had some good advice . Take care of yourself.

[CyrusTheVirus]

Thanks everyone .

I just feel a bit torn at the moment, on one hand I just want to go back on the meds with no questions asked. But on the other hand I don't know if these events are stopping my recovery .

[pegasus]

(((((((( Cyrus )))))))) You might be able to bypass your GP completely beings as you have been in the mental health system before. Give the Community Mental Health Team a ring, you might be able to see the same people you had too.

Cyrus, I do not see any reason not to talk about your concerns. If the concerns are not an impediment, you can put your mind at rest. If they are, they can be dealt with.

Good luck.

[CyrusTheVirus]

Originally Posted by pegasus

(((((((( Cyrus )))))))) You might be able to bypass your GP completely beings as you have been in the mental health system before. Give the Community Mental Health Team a ring, you might be able to see the same people you had too.

Thanks Pegasus, I did consider it, my CPN did say I could call if I ever felt the need. I just don't know feel comfortable ringing her & saying remember me .

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

Cyrus, I do not see any reason not to talk about your concerns. If the concerns are not an impediment, you can put your mind at rest. If they are, they can be dealt with.

Good luck.

I understand where you're coming from Byzantine but sometimes it's easier said than done. Sometimes I feel like such an idiot.

Sorry, Cyrus, I was not intimating you are an idiot. Getter better is never easy.

Good luck.