[Puffyprue]

iam home now ....my parent asked me to come home so here iam home....
what home means to you? well my home doesnt feel like what home means to me ...
my mood change so easily from happy without no reason to extremely sad my famiouly knew nothing about this...
i was in hospital for 9 days and my mum was there too and she did talked to my neurologist and my neurologist said he also want me to seeing psychiatrist again my mum said i already had one before the problem is my mum didnt know what is wrong with me coz i never tell her all she know that i have personality disorder that she not really understand about that...my mum keep making me very stressful and i told her can she just let me a rest coz iam very depressed this is the first time i told her that iam depressed and she said something very hurtful "omg u depressed?how comes u depressed is like u dont have faith?dont u have faith? dont u believe in god?and i began to cry and went to my room ..i still dont understand how could my mum said something like that if i dont have faith i already kill my self so long ago and i will never pray anymore ..why if iam telling her mum iam having a fever she didnt said all the things she saids...
is there anyone out there need a life? i would give mine for free...
iam stressed out with my family problem,my friendship is falling apart, my study stuck and too much pressure feel like i cant survive ...
i just want to tell my mum that i love you ma , even it so hard sometimes to love you but i still loves you and iam sorry iam not perfect if i could fix everything i would do it for you but iam just ordinary girl and iam not that strong.....
i want you to know iam trying harder than anyone just for you to make you proud ..and iam sorry iam still nothing............

[Naturefreak]

(((Prue)))

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((puffyprue))))

Awww----I am so sorry you are feeling so low. But you are something and I care. I know that feeling of trying so hard to make someone proud that cannot be made proud. Being who you are and being true to you is good enough. I know the feelings you had when she told you about having faith and don't you believe in God. That is a horrible thing to throw at you or anyone who is depressed. I was told that same thing many times and even today whenever I talk to anyone in my family it is always don't you believe God will take it away.

I get so angry when those words are thrown at people and it is just not right. God does care and he is there to help but you have a right to what you are feeling and there are reasons for feeling the way you do. I am glad you are here and that you have faith to not kill you. You are worth so much just because you are you. I am so glad you reached out here and you have given us the opportunity to support and encourage you. I know it was difficult but I am so glad you did.

Puffy, no one is perfect no matter how hard we try. And we all at some point will feel depressed sometime in our life. But that does not mean we do not have faith or that anything is wrong with us. I do hear you about if you had a fever she would not have asked you those things or said those hurtful things. Many times when I have been sick no one has said things and they have been there to help me. But no one in my family has been here for me in my mental illness and they continue to ridicule me. It is not our fault and we have done nothing wrong.

You are a good person and someone worth listening to as you walk this road. And I hope you know that we are here for you and we support you and how you feel. Please keep reaching out here and telling us how you are doing. Know that we care and we understand. You are you and that is good enough. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts.

dps

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Puffyprue

i want you to know iam trying harder than anyone just for you to make you proud ..and iam sorry iam still nothing...

Oh, how I wish we could make your mother see you through our eyes and get a sense of how dear you are to all of us!

[Puffyprue]

thanks everyone
today i went to doctor again with ma and she kept telling the doctor that iam not supposed to be depressed and she cant believe it that iam depressed that we supposed to talk to god and believe him ....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......
i want to run away......................far far away .........

[turquoisesea]

I'm sorry your mother is confusing depression with lack of faith.
Have you tried explaining that you believe in God, and that you have faith, but that your body is just having trouble?

*gentle hugs*

Hello, puffyprue. I am glad you are seeing your doctor. Hope you are on the way to a better life.

Be well.