trying to reach out - possible trigger

I don't know how to reach out for help, I don't know if anything I feel is justified, maybe I am the problem, maybe I don't deserve love and support. It seems that whenever I have a really bad day with depression, I do something wrong because I don't respond the right way to anyone. People get mad at me for not cheering up and responding the way they think I should. I'm having trouble just keeping myself alive, but it's more important for me to worry about how everyone else feels about it?! I'm a people-pleaser, so this really throws me into a desperate place.

I've been sick with MDD for almost 2 years now. I hate to ask for things, and the longer this goes on, the harder it gets to even justify asking for understanding. But all alone I won't make it. I don't know what to do.

Sorry, this makes no sense...
I've tried to start a thread so many times, it all just sounds like I'm complaining for nothing. I just wish I could stop this overwhelming feeling of desperation - although I swore I wouldn't cut again, it's getting harder and harder to be like this and not do anything, not feel anything but hopelessness. I know it won't solve anything, but maybe it would snap me out of this darkness. But not today, if I can only make it through the night...

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. You have to take care of yourself and you do deserve care and support! I feel the same way all the time. You need to put yourself first. Just know that we are all here for you and we care about you. And you can post as many posts as you want. I hope you start to feel better about yourself!

Hello, Satu. Try here: http://www.tennesseeanytime.org/gov/family-resources/

Under Health Insurance there is a sub-category: Can’t afford your medications?

Under Health Care there are a couple sub-categories that look promising.

In any event, call and explain your circumstances. Ask what assistance you may be eligible for and how you go about applying for it.

Good luck.

Satu, what is your health care system like in Finland? I'm curious if you have a therapist/doctor, also if you are on meds.

Depression is a serious illness and left untreated, will leave you for dead. No one wants that, even though it seems at times it's the easiest avenue. IT'S NOT!

I sympathize with you as a sufferer of Major Depression. However, I reached out and got a doctor and meds. Now I still have my days, but the illness is manageable and I can function, at least minimally.

You can't let this thing win. You have reached out to us, so why not take the next step and ask for professional help?

Please keep posting...we care!