[Lostforevermore]

I'm losing everything. My heart just hurts so much...it feels like I have a huge weight on it and slowly by slowly the weight gets heavier and heavier until it feels like my heart is about to be crushed. It's getting harder and harder to breathe

Why do I have to feel this way? I don't even know how to tell anyone else. I don't even think anyone else know how I feel. I don't think anyone realizes how I'm feeling and how I'm slowly dying inside.

Sometimes I just want to scream and scream to make them look at me and see that I'm dying. And sometimes I work up the nerve to try to tell them that something is wrong with me and then something happens that makes it impossible to me to tell them. And then later when they ask if I'm ok, I say that I'm fine.

I'm a coward like that. i can't ask for help when I need it. I don't know how to explain it to them. I don't think they will understand. I know that they won't understand.

I feel it now...the pressure on my heart, making it harder to breathe...to take air in and out. Its is so hard to breathe. I feel the stinging in my eyes. The tears that want to fall but can't.

I want to tell them. I want to call out and just tell them. I'm so so unhappy. So sad...so alone...so unhappy... But I can't ask a word. Every time I feel like I'm about to break and they ask what's wrong I can't say a word. I lie and say I'm fine.

I lie. My whole life is a lie. Everything I am and everything I say is a lie. I can't take this anymore. I think that's why everything is starting to seep out the cracks in myself. I don't know how much longer I can hold myself together without completely breaking. I'm running out of glue to hold myself together. The cracks in my heart are getting bigger and bigger.

I need help. I need an escape. I can't take much more of this. I'm dying and I don't know what to say. It's getting harder and harder to breathe. So hard...so painful...so sad...so alone.......

[1flagwriter]

((((Lostforevermore))))

What's going on? We are here if you need to chat!

Since you don't you could explain how you feel to the docs, why don't you print your post and let them read it?

Please post and let us know how you're doing...

[palmdalegirl]

Originally Posted by Lostforevermore

I'm losing everything. My heart just hurts so much...it feels like I have a huge weight on it and slowly by slowly the weight gets heavier and heavier until it feels like my heart is about to be crushed. It's getting harder and harder to breathe

Why do I have to feel this way? I don't even know how to tell anyone else. I don't even think anyone else know how I feel. I don't think anyone realizes how I'm feeling and how I'm slowly dying inside.

Sometimes I just want to scream and scream to make them look at me and see that I'm dying. And sometimes I work up the nerve to try to tell them that something is wrong with me and then something happens that makes it impossible to me to tell them. And then later when they ask if I'm ok, I say that I'm fine.

I'm a coward like that. i can't ask for help when I need it. I don't know how to explain it to them. I don't think they will understand. I know that they won't understand.

I feel it now...the pressure on my heart, making it harder to breathe...to take air in and out. Its is so hard to breathe. I feel the stinging in my eyes. The tears that want to fall but can't.

I want to tell them. I want to call out and just tell them. I'm so so unhappy. So sad...so alone...so unhappy... But I can't ask a word. Every time I feel like I'm about to break and they ask what's wrong I can't say a word. I lie and say I'm fine.

I lie. My whole life is a lie. Everything I am and everything I say is a lie. I can't take this anymore. I think that's why everything is starting to seep out the cracks in myself. I don't know how much longer I can hold myself together without completely breaking. I'm running out of glue to hold myself together. The cracks in my heart are getting bigger and bigger.

I need help. I need an escape. I can't take much more of this. I'm dying and I don't know what to say. It's getting harder and harder to breathe. So hard...so painful...so sad...so alone.......

Lostforevermore.....I am experiencing the same pain, emptiness, and lonliness.....I need a friend. Do you want to privately chat with me?

[slowinmi]

Lostforevermore,

You write and describe your feelings very well. I'm sorry that you are so sad. You don't say in your post whether you are in therapy, on medication or haven't yet tried these things because of not being able to ask for help.

One of the blogs today on PC was about why people don't ask for help for depression. That might be a good starting point for you so you can think about why you aren't able to talk about how you feel. 1flagwriter's suggestion about printing out your post is also an excellent one because then you could go to your doctor and wouldn't have to speak, and you can hand it to your family or friends.

There are also 1-800 hot line numbers that you can call and talk with someone, especially if you are feeling desperate. Speaking on the phone is often easier than talking face-to-face and would give you practise/experience talking to someone about it.

Please consider doing something to help you feel better soon. You don't deserve to feel this way. And please keep posting so we know how you doing.

[1flagwriter]

Slowinmi,

Great advice! Could you PM me the link to that blog? That would be interesting to read.