[Ganymede00]

This is my first post and I’m not sure if this belongs here. But anyways, my state of mind is really not in the best condition right now and I just really need some advice on what to do about my school situation. I’ve been depressed (among other things but it’s my first concern) since I was about 11/12 (I’m now 20) and it’s been getting to the point where I can’t handle school without some help. I have 2 tests and 1 art project due tomorrow and I just haven’t been able to concentrate all weekend long and thus, had a very difficult weekend. So, today I went to an emergency counseling session where I explained that I’ve been having trouble concentrating on school work. Though it did not go as well as I had hoped, I asked the counselor what to do about my upcoming tests and projects and was informed to tell my professors about my situation. I told him I’m scared of doing so because I’m scared that they’ll either won’t believe me or think I’m insane. The counselor told me to just try and see what happens. So my problem: should I tell my professors about my situation (depression, general anxiety, ect.) or should I just leave it vague?
I already talked to one professor in person and they were surprisingly understanding. I also emailed my other professors and got one reply and was told that it was possible to reschedule my test but I would have to be penalized for it (which is what I was fearing). I’m just really worried because I’ve never asked for flexibility in my school assignments due to my depression but it’s just getting to the point where I can’t handle the stress of messing up in school.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Ganymede00))))

First welcome to PC and I am glad that you are here. Thank you for posting and sharing what is going on for you. I am sorry you are having a rough time right now. Anxiety and depression can play a big role in how we look at things and how we are able to get things we need to do done. When we feel depressed and overwhelmed/anxious it is hard to concentrate and do the things that we know need to get done. And when we cannot do that then we begin to feel all sorts of guilt and feelings of what we cannot do.

I know that feeling of not being able to get things going and in on time. When the depression takes over and you just cannot think and get your mind to working where it needs to. I was in school this last fall. I was dealing with so much internally and expecting myself to get everything done on time and with 100 %. I am a perfectionist and expect so much out of myself that when it came to school work it had to be done just right and to the best I could possibly do.

Putting that kind of pressure on myself was causing more anxiety. Trying to fine the strength within to push through the depression and fear I was feeling to get things done but yet finding out that I just could not do it. I would wait until the day that things were due to start reports and essays and stuff. Knowing that I had until 2:00 am to complete what was due. I pushed myself for hours that day and night and got things in right at the time limit. Although I did do really good it was not good for my mental thoughts and it only served to make things worse.

To top it off, allowing myself to set out for awhile while I got things together so I could think was like a failure to me. I struggled until it finally took it course and I had to give in. I was not okay and I knew this. I did not want anyone to know that I was having any problem so I hid this. I think that if I had been willing to ask for time they would have worked with me. I ended up having to step out for awhile and I have yet to go back. But I know that the pressure that I was putting on myself was playing a big role in pulling me down and the anxiety was going off the roof.

I want to finish school and I will but I have learned that if I do not listen to myself it is not going to do me any good. I think explaining how you feel and letting them know will allow you to have time to get things done. I know how it is to expect so much of yourself. But I have learned that I have to listen to myself because I am the only one that can really help me. For I am the only one that knows how I really feel and what I can do and cannot do.

I hear what you are saying and I hope that you will listen to yourself. Remember to breathe and to take care of you. You are important. Know that we are listening and we care. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[1flagwriter]

I am where you are, my friend. I decided to take off this semester all together. It was all I could do to get through my last semester, but I did it.

Are you living on campus? Is there anyway you can just make it through this set of tests and be happy with a C?

Either way, I am hoping all the best for you!!

My thought is to go to the tests early and talk to the profs. Once you know the options available, you will have to decide how to proceed.

More importantly, it is apparent the counselor is not very helpful. You need help. My thought is for you to contact you general practitioner and get referred to a psychiatrist for evaluation and appropriate treatment.

Many find anathema the thought of taking some time off from school to get better. Even so, going through hell and performing poorly is no fun either. Maybe you should focus on getting better for awhile?

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[dt63]

Last fall, I was in the final semester of my degree program. In the last two weeksor so of class, I underwent a horrible life tragedy. My instructors were aware of my diagnosis, and, although uncomfortable with it, there were no problems. One day, I left class in the middle of lecture and didn't return that day, My program coordinator and instructor came to me and said,"I don't know what happened to you, but you have been an excellent student throughouy, whatever happened must be devestating for you." and offered to let me test through in the spring. I had a strong GPA going in (remember at this point I had failed to take Two major exams!) I was told that this was not a mandate, but a suggestion. I ultimately chose to stay and play out my hand, it was soo tough. At the end of my semester, I realized that the program was not making things worse, but helping me to focus on something other than the event that unravelled me. Now, a graduate of my program, at least have the positive force of having stayed and finished what I started. Maybe this was just one less thing that I could use to beat myself up with. I am so glad I stayed. It turned out that it was all I had at that time! My daudhter is 19 and I would tell her this story in similar circumstance. You deserve to graduate with your peers!

[Ganymede00]

Thanks everyone for the advice and kind words. I had a difficult day today but it ended somewhat better. First, I went to talk to one of my professors and it didn’t go quite as well as I had hoped. I gave her a (short) letter explaining what I may have and I don’t think she took it as good as I had hoped. She told she understood what I must be going through but then she rambled on about how I don’t have any medical evidence (I told her a counselor couldn’t write anything for me for the time being) and how I have to understand that everyone is going through difficult things. She then proceeded to ask me very personal things (suicide, for example) and I was completely honest with her because I thought she would understand. She told me that though she understood that I may be having a hard time, I can’t necessarily get an extension without getting penalized with no medical proof. At this point, I was in tears and felt like running out of her office and locking myself in my room for the next couple of days.
She then gave me 2 options: I could either go into the counseling center for yet another emergency session or take the test in her office that same day and we would see how I would do. She said that it would be fine as long as I didn’t fail because there would be extra credit options later in the year. I opted for option 1.
This whole experience was humiliating and stressful but I was able to be more honest than ever during my session. The problem now is that I don’t know how to face my professor after all of this. She was the first ever professor I had ever been that honest with and I feel she invalidated my feelings. I know that I’m probably seeing the whole situation like that due to my depression but I still feel embarrassed and a little angry that she reacted how she did. Am I justified in my how I’m feeling or did she do the right thing? I just don’t know.

[Anneinside]

Unfortunately, being well educated doesn't mean you understand who someone is going through who has bipolar. Telling you not to be embarrassed isn't going to make it so, but try to let it go. Go to class. If you have proof that she wants, copy it (keep the original for your records) and either leave it in her mailbox or take it to her. If you can, get an accommodation plan written up at the student counseling center.

[1flagwriter]

Hey, I definitely agree with Anneinside. Unfortunatetly, there is still a huge stigma attached to mental illness. Pyschology is stll seen as a soft science...it's too bad for us who suffer with these illnesses, and it's unfair how we can be treated.

I hope you feel better soon and you can show your professor your real potential!

[IndigoRose]

The stigma is alive and well and a total double standard when compared to other people's health issues that are acommodated (sp?).

[justfloating]

((((((((((ganymede))))))))))


Are you on medication or have you seen a doctor about your depression? If you are on medication, showing your prescription to your professor or getting a doctor's note should serve as enough "proof" of a medical need for extension on your work. If not, is your student support office able to write a letter to your professors/department explaining that you're having personal problems that may have a negative impact on your academic performance? I got a letter like that sent to my department last year because my school has a very strict attendance policy and I was unable to get to most of my classes while the depression was really bad.

It's REALLY hard to be depressed and a student at the same time. I understand what you're going through. No matter how much you want to, you can't seem to motivate yourself to get through your work. I get the sense that I'm floundering all the time, and I'm on the upswing from my depression. When I was really low, I was barely functioning at all. Depression is a complicated illness and it's not understood by the vast majority of people. Unfortunately there's a stigma and lack of education surrounding it that can just make things worse for its sufferers. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to be ashamed of your depression. You have a medical condition you can't control, any more than you'd be able to control being diabetic. Something is wrong, and you need help, and there's nothing wrong with that whatsoever. If you haven't seen a doctor, please consider going to one ASAP. It will really help to have a professional on your side right now.

As far as I'm aware, you don't need to tell anyone you're depressed if you don't want to. My individual tutors and professors are aware that I have a medical condition, but it goes no further than that, and I don't believe they're permitted to ask for specifics. (I could be wrong about that, though, so you might want to check that with your student support office.) Do you go for regular counselling sessions or would you consider doing that? I set up weekly sessions with my counsellor, both to work on my depression and learn new coping skills to help get me through the school year. Maybe you and your counsellor could develop an action plan to help see you through the rest of the semester? If there's no one in your student support office you feel you can talk to, you can also ask your doctor for a referral to a therapist.

The other thing that worked for me was trying to get a handle on things in advance of a complete breakdown. The earlier you give your professors notice of a need for an extension, the more likely they'll be to accommodate you. For instance if I realize I have three assignments due in one week, I will see about getting them spaced out a bit to keep my stress levels down and give me time to really concentrate on the individual assignments themselves. It might be too late now but maybe it's something you can consider in future.

Good luck with everything. I know how hard it is. Please believe me when I tell you that this won't last forever and you're not alone.

[Rohag]

Suggestion: Take copies of the posts you've made in this thread, especially that second one (#6 in the thread), and present them to the counselor and to any medical professional with whom you meet.

Theoretically, an institution should have a uniform policy toward individuals with illnesses -- including mental illnesses. Any discrimination here opens them up to lawsuits.

Best wishes for positive outcomes.

[dt63]

I tend to have too much faith in human nature sometimes, I guess that I was very fortunate to have instructors of such character.I wish for you that you have the opportunity to realize your dreams. I'm sorry that you had to experience that, this thing really stinks sometimes. I've had the diagnosis used to hurt me before, you would think that I would learn.

I admire your courage, Ganymede00. Next time you see that professor, stand tall and look her in the eye. You are doing some heavy lifting right now and have nothing to be ashamed of.

Good luck.