Is Relocation Healthy??

It sounds like you have very good reasons to want to have a life somewhere else. I would want to be as far away from the ex as possible if it was me. I think that is a very healthy thing to want!

Moving to go toward something rather than to escape something is very different. You are ready to build a new life either place, so why not do it where you love being! I think is sounds exciting and free

My husband was born and raised in the Los Angeles/Orange County area. (I myself was born in Pomona, but not raised there past kindergarten.) He would whole-heartedly agree with anybody's decision to get the heck out of LA. He did; we now live in Washington.

Relocating was beneficial for me too. From age 5 onward, I was mostly raised in Kentucky. My husband and I met online, and because my situation was so bad, I took a major chance and came out here to be near him. I don't recommend that course of action for most people. It would be too risky. But in my case it was the thing to do. Hubby and I have been together for three years, married for a year and a half, and despite current stress and depression, on the whole I'm happier than I've ever been in my life.

As Ruffy cautions, though, memories do follow. Make sure that wherever you move to, there is support in place, and continue to work through your issues.

Bottom line, just do what is best for you.

Thank you for your input. I agree about L.A.....I was born and raised here and this city has no morals or values! I would tell anybody to NOT raise your children here. I love all the different advice I have received!!!

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Originally Posted by palmdalegirl I am thinking of relocating from California to Montana. Does anybody have any helpful advice for me? Would it help me to attempt to start a new life? Los Angeles is just so bad, and I have too many painful memories in this city ever since I can remember. I have researched Montana and it is a beautiful, serene state. Maybe, just maybe, I can help myself fight my hopelessness in Los Angeles and find some caring new friends. It's worth a try, right?

Hmmm. I tried that. I moved from New York to Tokyo and was convinced things would be different. WRONG. All my problems went right along with me, and, worse, I walked away from my informal help network of friends and family. My therapist warned me, almost flat out told me not to go, but I was intoxicated with the idea of changing countries. Bad, bad move. Montana probably won't be any better than Los Angeles and could be worse, IF you don't solve your problems BEFORE you move.

I have moved a decent amount since my husband is Active Duty Army. Honestly, each place is what you make of it. People will always complain at each new place that there is "nothing to do here" or how much this or that location stinks, but it is honestly just your perspective and whether you decide to be happy or miserable at your new location. If you have it in your head that your new location is going to stink, then it most likely will. So, I think as long as you keep upbeat and have a good attitude about it and make the most of it that it will be a good move for you. I do want to mirror what a few other people said though #1 moving is stressful, you don't know where anything is at in your new location not to mention you have to somehow load all those boxes and furniture into a moving truck and back out again when you get to your new location. You don't know anyone and sometimes it can be hard to make new friends, but usually if you give yourself some time you will make friends soon enough, especially if you are involved in activities, work, or school etc. #2 I would also caution that moving will not magically make all your problems go away, but I think from your posts that you realize that and are not expecting all your problems to just go away when you move. So with that said, I say go for it and have a great time!

I've lived in six states in the last 10 years, and like others have said, "Wherever I go, there I am." My dysfunction follows me because I'm the problem ... seriously. That's not to say my family isn't dysfunctional or my bosses aren't bad people, but ultimately I'm the one putting myself in bad situations and then STAYING in them and then blaming myself for the problems in the relationship. I'm a seasoned actor faithfully reenacting the same relationship drama in six states. You could say my drama is on a "North American Tour." On one level, yes, I am to blame because I'm not getting to the core of the issues that drive my dysfunction and drive me toward the exact same personalities over and over and over.

That said, if you feel you must move I wish you the very best. I've made truly lifelong friends along the way and being away from the geographic source of all the pain has helped me, I think. Montana is beautiful. It can be dark, dreary, cold, rainy, snowy and the summer isn't very long so I hope the seasons don't trigger depression for you.

If nothing else, maybe the physical distance will give you perspective on some of the toxic folks in your life. Best wishes.

I love what you said about the physical distance from toxic people in my life! You are so right....thanks for the insight!!

Just make sure th at wherever you move that there are adequate mental health services. ^_^