Is Relocation Healthy??

I am thinking of relocating from California to Montana. Does anybody have any helpful advice for me? Would it help me to attempt to start a new life? Los Angeles is just so bad, and I have too many painful memories in this city ever since I can remember. I have researched Montana and it is a beautiful, serene state. Maybe, just maybe, I can help myself fight my hopelessness in Los Angeles and find some caring new friends. It's worth a try, right?

Moving can be exciting and you could have a blast! I think it has a lot to do with your expectations and attitude. If you approach it as an exciting adventure full of possibilities, then it could be wonderful!

I love the Rocky Mountain area, the idea of getting out of LA sounds great to me but I have never been a "Big City" sort of guy.

I relocated with my family from the UK to the Rockies last year, while I was still struggling quite a lot with depression - it's been hard at times, certainly, but I am glad I did it as we now live somewhere beautiful, the weather is better, our house here is about twice the size of our old house and the schools my children are in are better compared to where we were. It was hard to leave friends and family of course, and the excellent mental health support I had, but it has been refreshing being somewhere new - knowing that anyone I meet now will have no preconceived notions about me, they will only know what I choose to tell them.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Thank you so much for the inspirational words! You are so right.....my expectations and my attitude are what's going to help me to be happy and to start over. My father always called me a "dreamer" of dreams that will never come true. He is wrong! I have never felt stronger, or more certain, of the power I am currently feeling!

You are so right.....leaving Los Angeles is probably a very good idea. Thanks!

Thank you so much! I really took your advice to heart! It would be so nice to start over and meet people who can get to know me with a clean slate. I want a new life SO BAD!

Let us know how it goes- take PC with you- we are just a computer away

I definately will! PC will always be a part of my life! Thanks so much for caring........

If you feel in your heart that it's the right thing to do, then do it. Go with your immediate sense of things.

I totally say go for it!!! I can't wait to leave this crappy state of Ohio, not to be offensive if anyone reading this is from here too, but I know that leaving here is so what I need! I don't have a location as of yet but I'm working on it. Like you it's way too many painful memories here and I hate going anywhere anymore, this is not living but existing. I want to go out and enjoy the sunshine and not be a hermit in my home, not here though. I hate talking to my T or Doc about it since they don't understand, and like a couple weeks back Doc said "well even if you go elsewhere all your problems are going to follow." Maybe he's right but this is my life and living here isn't getting it. So get those suitcases, boxes, etc. out and live the next fulfilling, happy chapter of your life!!!!

Good luck, palmdalegirl.

Thank you....Thank you....Thank you!! You just inspired me even more! I agree with you....a fulfilling, happy chapter is what everyone can use!!

Thank you for your words!

Hi Palmdalegirl,

When I moved away from home it did a world of good. I lived in a very stressful situation but the change did a lot for my mental health. Reach for your dreams. Peace - Dennis

I emigrated and it was a good move, I would never go back. Part of it was to escape the life I had and part of it was to live somewhere better for me where I could have the quality of life I wanted.
Just remember that wherever you go, you'll be there, unless your problems are caused by where you are living it's likely you will still have problems but you might be better able to handle them by moving.
Good luck.

I agree with going with your gut feeling - I moved a fair distance about 9 years ago, and on paper it made lots of sense - better job for my OH, bigger house, near family - and yet I really didn't want to leave where we were, and I think that had a big effect on my subsequent depression; and then this move didn't make sense at all, it was first suggested when I was in hospital, but there was just enough of me still there that didn't want to just say no. I am glad we did it. And of course any move doesn't have to be forever - I knew I would regret more not doing it, than doing it and finding out it wasn't for us, I wanted to believe I was the sort of person who wouldn't pass on opportunities.

I lived abroad on two separate occasions in the past - on my own, before I had my own family - for an academic year each time, and really it was just starting to get really good when it was time to leave. So since then, I've had in my head the idea that I really have to see how it goes for two years before deciding. Of course if it was really terrible I wouldn't always make myself stick to that, I suppose, but it seems to work for me.

It's true that you still have to take you when you move! - but I have felt less under scrutiny here than back in the UK - I've not had to pretend that I was fine when I was having a crappy day or week, and that has been helpful - quite liberating really. I would suggest trying to set up some support for yourself pretty early on, though, as I really needed somewhere to offload and process what the last couple of years have held for me.

I have never lived anywhere better - every day I see the beauty of nature and, though I am not religious, it does my soul good. There was a time a few months ago that we thought we might not be able to stay and I was gutted - so that helped me to see it had been the right thing to take the risk.

So - yes, go for it! Good luck.

http://www.e-hresources.com/Articles/Sept2004.htm

Thank you Byzantine.....I always cherish your input, as you seem very well grounded to me.

I don't want to rain on the parade of you feeling good and the support your getting to move, however, while I can relate to what you want to do, are you leaving anyhting behind in LA like friends and a job that might not be so easy to find in a new state right away? Its easy to say yeah move its a great idea, but you will be the one to live with the consequences should it not meet your expectations. It may very well be the best thing for you, but at least do a little research on the town, jobs, colleges, weather to make sure. I've been in both places, its a major change. Can you tell us more about why the change really interest you and what you expect there?

The reasons for our hopelessness reside deep within us. That is their home. Moving that home of the hopelessness to a new location and expecting to feel different may not be realistic. There is the old saying that "Wherever you go....there you are."

Relocate because you really want to live somewhere else, and you are willing to do what you need to do to build a new life. But moving with magical expectations of feeling better, of life just 'being' better somewhere else, can be quite disappointing.

To be very honest....I am leaving nothing behind. After my mother passed, my dysfunctional family disappeared and everybody went their own way. We don't connect on holidays or birthdays. I am unemployed due to a past of an abusive husband coming into my places of employment to attempt to get me fired. It worked. He was just recently sentenced to 5 years, and I kind of see this as a breaking point. I have zero friends here anymore.....and, that is sad for a 45 year old woman. I look at this
move as a "work in progress" to help me start over. I do not see a magical change at all. I have to work and stay focused on me now. I have always been fond of the Dakotas, and the surrounding states. I have always been an outdoors girl, and Los Angeles sickens me more than ever. I am constantly researching it, and I plan to make a decision at the end of 2010. Thank you so much for all of the advice.....it means alot to me!

Good luck with whatever decision you make, palmdalegirl.

It sounds like you have some sound reasons to move and not deciding until year-end gives you plenty of time to research. Maybe it'll be the change your looking for.

Not to be a downer but...relocating is at the top three..most high stress situations, next to a wedding and a funeral. Just want you to be ready for that. And a wise person once told me, "wherever you go, there youll be" You want to make the move for the right reasons. Not to get away from memories, or feelings, or emotions. They will move right with you. I hope if you do decide to move, that it will be a wonderful and positive experience. Nothing wrong with putting dreams into action.