[englishteacher]

I'm back on meds, which I think is helping, but I have some situational financial problems that are driving me to distraction. I can't focus on work, even though I know I need to grade papers - I can't grade when I can't remember from one sentence to the next what the subject is. I hoped that grading papers would provide a distraction from my personal problems, but instead, I'm unable to concentrate.

I've gone around and around in my brain trying to find a solution to my financial problems, but I can't come up with anything workable. Hubby and I have made some very poor choices and we can't keep running from them. The hole we are digging just gets deeper and deeper. There isn't a good alternative - there are lots of really crappy, hard, almost impossible to stomache solutions. The hole is so deep that I'm beginning to think I should just start pulling the dirt over my head...

[lynn P.]

"Hellooo down there ((English Teacher)) let me toss you a rope, so I can pull you up. No dirt throwing on yourself allowed" lol. Just trying to have some fun. When a situation is nagging me, I imagine taking what ever's bothering me - put it in a pretend box, locking it and put it way up high on a shelf. Or I ask myself "is there anything I can do about ------- at this moment"? Set aside a specific time of day for worrying and problems solving. Sit down with hubby and a list of short solutions for those problems. Good luck

[Rohag]

Hi, Englishteacher!

Originally Posted by englishteacher

The hole we are digging just gets deeper and deeper. There isn't a good alternative - there are lots of really crappy, hard, almost impossible to stomache solutions.

How do you know about your alternatives? Have you spoken with or are you able to speak with a real expert who won't try to sell you something?

Here's hoping the solution will be easier than you can imagine right now.

[englishteacher]

Lynn, I have been putting the problem aside for so long...hubby and I have talked about it. We come up with short term solutions - then rarely follow through because we don't like the solution any more than we like the problem. Bad habits are hard to break.

Ah Rohag - always hits the nail on the head! I don't really KNOW...I'm guessing, but I'm terrified to find out that I'm right. I haven't spoken to an expert - I'd need an attorney...that costs money. If I had money, even $1000 to spare, I could solve the main problem.

Ultimately, it is our fault. Ultimately, I knew it was wrong when we started it. Knowing that it's my fault or that it was a stupid choice doesn't change today.

There are some free budgeting organizations that may be worth looking into. They negotiate a payment schedule for all the debt. The clients turn over a specified amount each month and keeps the balance for living expenses.

[1flagwriter]

ET,

Byz is right...and those folks are very helpful. They also provide a buffer between you and the creditors. One thing that my wife and I did was go directly to the creditor and talk to them. They will help because they don't want you to default, because then they don't get ANY money.

[Ygrec23]

[quote=englishteacher;1333658]I'm back on meds, which I think is helping, but I have some situational financial problems that are driving me to distraction. ...

I've gone around and around in my brain trying to find a solution to my financial problems, but I can't come up with anything workable. ...]

I'm right there with you, English. Big debts, no assets, no income except social security. My business died. Talked to the creditors. Talked to the credit counseling people. Talked to the bankruptcy lawyer. It's awful. But they ALL tell me it will go away in time. There's no such thing as no solution to a worldly problem like that. And keep in mind, very important, there are at least thirty-forty million Americans right there in your shoes right now! You are not alone.

Go to the credit counselor, but make SURE they are a not for profit, 501-c-3 group! There are MANY, MANY intensely profit-making so-called "credit counselors" out there who will charge you a monthly fee that makes your debt load worse than it was before. How to know? Go down and talk with the people at your Chamber of Commerce. Phone a bankruptcy law office - don't go for a consultation, they'll charge you for that, but just try to get a credit counselor name over the phone. Call the Better Business Bureau.

One day this will all be history. And you'll still be alive. Take care.