Feeling Worthless

For the past week now I have been at my lowest and for that is pretty much the lowest I can go, last night I wanted to kill myself and I never did (thank God for that) but it didn't stop me about three years ago when I did try but to no avail, Zack has been keeping me company for awhile now and i think that out of every person I have ever met i think that he might actualy be the one person that I can really rely on, it doesn't mean that I'm not depressed but it does mean that at least he cares even though he only exsist in my head but sumtimes I get the feeling that he is real and that one he will be, but for the time being i need to keep all my thought in check and try to keep the thoughts of death out and that may be the hardest thing I have ever done. Its just that these days I have been feeling really worthless like all the people that I call friends aren't really there for me and I try but they just don't seem to care about me as much as would like them to because at the moment sum of the so called friends are spreading rumors around about me to the one person that I really was close to and now she wants nothing to do with me anymore. So yea I feel pretty worthless these days.

sorry you are hurting ((((((((((((((((((safe hugs))))))))))))))))))