[jazper]

Another crappy feeling day,
Too much to do and no motivation, no energy, no will to even try.
Im tired Im over this depression in a big way. I want to crawl into a hole and hide from everyone and everything that sees me hears me and wants anything from me. My counsellor tells me I am negative in my thinking what is there to be positive about. Noone likes me unless I can give or do for them. Noone visits or calls and asks what would I like or How am I. I have a job that cares for others and all they do is complain about everything and treat us all as if we are the slaves. Manners would be nice to hear sometimes. and a bit of respect for what we do. Most of the time I dont want to go anymore and thats another big worry for me because I have done this job for nearly thirty years and always loved it and the people I care for. Now I bottle all my resentment up and come home feeling lousy because I feel very negative about some of them.
And I dont feel well, but nobody hears me when I tell them. (Its all in my head) I hurt both inside and out. I could scream and cry and regularly do I must admit but nothing is relieved by it. Depression is my life it seems when will it let up? when will it release me from hell? what did I do to deserve it?.

[twinmommy38]

{{{{HUGS}}}} I hear you.

Sorry everything is so bad, jazper. Are you receiving any professional help? What you describe is no way to live.

Love yourself.

[Rohag]

Hi, Jazper!

Originally Posted by jazper

...I have a job that cares for others...I have done this job for nearly thirty years and always loved it and the people I care for. Now I bottle all my resentment up and come home feeling lousy because I feel very negative about some of them.

Curious - what happened? Was this a sudden change or gradual? Are you in a position to get a full health screening?

It's sad when something you love becomes a burden. Wishing you a turnaround and friends who care.

[englishteacher]

I hear you. I hope things get better for you. I wish I could be more helpful. Hugs...

[idontknow13]

(((((jazper)))))
You did nothing to deserve this! Depression is very hard but it does get better eventually. I understand how it feels to be in hell. I was where you are exactly one year ago, I had to take a sick leave from my job and in time things got better. Finding a good therapist and the right meds helped me a lot.
I hope you feel better soon.

[jazper]

Thankyou everyone for your kind words. Yes I have a counsellor and am on Meds.
Rohag you asked what happened, Nothing specific just burnout I guess. I have had two months off work due to ill health ( Cardiac ) and I guess my heart is just not into it much anymore (pun intended) The staff are all whingy amongst each other its just not pleasant atmosphere anymore and Im so tired.
But again Thanks for all your responses

A bit of cardio might help. Does the cardiologist have you on a physical therapy regimen?

[1flagwriter]

Jazper,

I'm curious to know what meds you are on for depression/anxiety...

Could there be a switch of meds in your future?

In my experience, I have found that a anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety combo works the best, but you have to give the meds time to work!

heck, I thought Australia was where all the happy people lived...you know down on the sandy beaches saying...ello matey to everyone...

[crystalrose]

^ ^ I Wish , I'm also from Australia, The beaches are lovely, but even they can't cure a depressed mood. you must watch too much Australian T.V
I know this is an old thread but i just wanted to say the best thing for burnout is take a break, I don't know if you are paid leave in your job but if you have been in it for that long you should have a long service leave come up some time.

Maybe you could look into getting a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. They are trained higher to deal with this type of thing.

[SophiaG]

Maybe it is time to switch careers...