People at work calling me gay and a wierdo because I cant get a girlfreind

After living in the FL swamp for the past 20+ years with temps in 80's I can understand why with temps in the 60's you would not want to get out of bed. My sister lives outside Seattle and she thinks temps in the 40's is a nice spring day. That is very difficult for this frog of little brain to understand.

I do understand what it feels like to prefer bed to the outside world. My pdoc gave me a pill so I would get up in the morning. Whoopee! It didn't get rid of the hurt and pain. It didn't change my desire to never wake up.

Even 5 years later I become easily overwhelmed with just living. So much pain that hides just below the surface to appear without warning. It's a deep dark place and I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy.

What helps? I don't think there is a concrete answer. Sometimes just forcing myself to move, walk, pull weeds, anything to take my thoughts off the pain. Sometimes writing down what I'm thinking (not allowed to post subject here). No fancy sentences just words, feelings, thoughts.

I doubt I've been of much help but we are always here for you. It's not an easy road to travel but this frog of little brain feels you can survive.




kebs