[MarkfromUS]

Well I know I have depression, my ex or ex-fiance, or current girlfriend (I have no idea any more) said she thought I was bi-polar. I have ups and downs, its normal... I thought. I cant afford to go to the doctors and be 'diagnosed' because I don't work enough and at $10.00 an hour its no good. I changed shifts to spend more time with my 6 month old son and fiance, I always put them first, yet she says I was never there. I took the score test and I got a 184, found out I got a whole lot more problems than I thought. My ex has OCD, ADHD, Depression, extremely low self esteem, past childhood emotional problems, and after all compulsive lying. Is it possible to give some of these traits away? I'm losing control each day, she fills me up with hope that we can start a new, but there's another man on the side that drops me to my knee's. This is the source of my depression. Last month we split, she said she didn't know who she was and wanted space (typical for compulsive liars) and she left me. After research I realized why she lied and what she was doing, trying to save me from herself because she always said she didn't want to hurt me any more, and she wasn't whats best for me, now I understand. She got with a new guy on our break, wasn't cheating because we weren't together but she said nothing happened. I asked for proof since now a month later she wants to work things out with me. Is it so hard to give me proof? I need it to trust, it's very hard to trust a compulsive liar. She couldn't give me the proof because she still 'works with him and it would be awkward', telling me he's leaving for a new job in a week and she will end all contact and supply the goods then. I'm an emotional wreck, I feel like I knew the real her, I saw it all, then she suddenly changed and even after other lies that I'm not gonna get into I still want to try to work it out. Its not hard for me to move on usually, and find someone else, she is the only one I have ever fought to get back, I know what we had was real. Everyday it burns me thinking what if shes lying and that's why she cant show the proof. Anyways enough about that, I've always had ups and downs. She constantly told me I was bi-polar. I don't have insurance and I don't make much money. My question is what if your bi-polar and feel you have depression? Is there medication for both? Is it expensive? I'm scared because of finances. Nothing in life is free I know, I tried the whole therapy thing, so much money... hell I've tried about couples therapy and even that is an arm and a leg. It seems like money is everything now days and the low income get screwed. Even when me and my fiance were together there was so much help out there if she was single without me than there was the two of us together. Please someone give me some advice, I already looked all over online and I cant afford it. If I get another job, thats even less time I get to spend with my child. And thats a whole other issue, when someones miserable the child can pick up on it, I havent been spending much time with him because of that, and not only do I feel like crap because of it, she constantly reminds me of how bad of a father I am for doing so. I feel like I cant get much lower, but then when I have the both of them around Im on cloud nine until its time for the goodbye kisses and I sink in that hole once again.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, MarkfromUS!

Finding help when money is nonexistent or tight is not easy. Here are a few resources for the USA, some of which you may have already considered.

New York Times article: How to Find Mental Health Care When Money is Tight, by Lesley Alderman
United Way / AIRS Home – 211.org
211.org Call Center Search
NeedyMeds
US Department of Housing and Urban Development, General Resources
State Departments of Human Services (different states use slightly different terms):

Department of Social Services (DSS)
Department of Human Services (DHS)
Department of Health and Social Services (DHSS)
Department of Social and Health Services (DSHS)
Health & Human Services Commission (HHSC)

Mental Health America – search for “Mental Health America” plus the name of the state where you live.

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
Find your local NAMI
Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) Home Page
DBSA Support Groups and Chapters
DBSA Support Groups and Chapters Directory (Terms of Use)

A support group can be an inexpensive or free (partial) alternative to regular therapy.

Edit: Just discovered the PsychCentral Insurance & Finances Forum.

[turquoisesea]

Thanks Rohag for all the links =) and advice

MarkfromUS: I don't have any amazing insight that can pull you out of the hole right now. Specifically to your question about medications... from what I know about bipolar it includes depressed states and then other states that don't include depression. There are many medications for each type of thing, they each affect different people differently. As a result it's normally best to find a psychiatrist. However with no insurance I know this can put you in a bind. I don't know what it takes when uninsured to get to a regular doctor but they can diagnose too, and may be able to help you if you're interested in medication.
some medicines can actually be very cheap. I know walmart and I THINK target have some plan where you can get generics for $5 ... if you're lucky and that medication were to work for you =) The prescription will probably be more of the problem.

Just trying to think I'm sorry if this came out fuzzy, I'm sleepy and a bit off right now. Best of luck, keep posting here if you like/gain from it - I know I do, it helps me alot =)

[SophiaG]

Try to look around for an Emotions Anonymous meeting near you. It's modeled on the 12 step program but its for people with mood disorders.