Today

I found out we're not going to be able to stay in this house when the lease is up at the end of the year.

I don't know where we'll go.

I got chewed out by every customer I spoke to because the warehouse is losing pieces of furniture right and left.

I missed my baby's first steps.

Days ago, apparently.

I didn't get to change the first diaper, either.

I didn't give her her first bath.

I wasn't here when she said her first word, although I believe them when they say it was 'mom' since that's all she says.

Those are moments you don't get back.

I almost broke my glasses when I threw them against the wall just now. Seem to be crying. Barely kept myself from dashing my phone to pieces on the bathroom floor.

They're doing away with my job, automating the office.

I'm not sure how much longer I can go on.

Inky,
I'm a father of 2, a 2 and 5 year old and I missed the 1st steps due to work. You will miss some of the 1st but it's nothing to be upset about. There are so many 1st that you will experience over the next year that will make you forget about this. Just love your child and spend as much time with him/her as you can.

I'm just getting out of a very low episode, so I know how you feel right now. Just think about the baby and you will get through it all. My kids are what keeps me here.

Hey, I don't know if you are a father or mother but we are all here to support each other on this site. I too am battling depression, along with anxiety, and bipolar disorder. The gift of having a child is watching them grow up. Do what you feel necessary, but remember this your child would rather be homeless with you than grow up without you.
Lifes hard but you should make it easier for your child by being there. Their are many more great moments you can have with your child. First day of kindergarten, First day of Middle School, Prom, Wedding , and Grandchildren. There's a higher power somewhere and we're here for a reason. I hope you make the right decision.

Oh Inky. That is a bunch of **** to have to deal with at one time. I am really sorry things are going like this for you right now.

I know this is only a tiny consolation, but I think that it speaks volumes that your baby's first word was mom. Even though you missed some important "firsts" you are clearly very important to her!

I hope things start on an upward slope for you soon.

(((((Inky))))))

How's the job search going? :/

I'm really sorry all of these things are happening to you, they seem really hard. Know that we are here for you.

And, dont worry, your child loves you and knows that you love her. That's what matters the most <hug>

Inky-long time no talk. I'm sick to heart about all that you are going through. If they let you go you can draw unemployment and have more of an opportunity to look for something more to your liking and talent. I guess now would be a good time to look for a new place to live - it's time your sister maybe got a job...and your mother - maybe taking in one child to babysit. It will give your little girl someone to playwith and socialize with. You keep going because you have an inner strength that a lot of people don't have. You keep going because of the moral strength that you have developed during your time in the service. And again, thank you for your service to our country. There are a lot of us out who are rooting for you, behind you, and with you in spirit. I hope that counts for something. I pray that things will start looking up for you. Remember you have a very rare talent in your writing - write that book on your experiences in the service. And are you utilizing your benefits from being in the service? You never say. But again it's none of my business. Just know that I care and I would love to hear from you. (((((INKY)))))

You are in my thoughts, Inky.