[Lexicon78]

My mind's been racing a lot lately. I've been remembering so much lately. Mostly the bad stuff. My boyfriend tries to make me remember good things...things that I have forgotten...

My mind keeps going to the bad stuff, though. Like I've been remembering my mom laying on her hospital bed...suffering...then dead. And I've been remembering the dreams I've had, especially the dream that haunts me about the little girl.

What I've been remembering the most, especially today, are my darkest hours...the negative thinking when I was at the end of my ropes and wishing only death would come quickly.

Like I said...my mind is racing...I hate all these memories...they're coming and going and I just want to forget them all. What is their purpose of returning? I wonder that a lot.

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((((lexi))))))))))))))))))) it's at times like you describe that i don't "sit with these" if i can help it at all. i try to get as busy as i can...occupying mind and body. is that an option for you...until it passes (hopefully very soon)?

be safe,

kd

[Junerain]

Perhapd etiher writing them down to talking them out to a counselor will give them less power than if they stay in your head..it sounds like you have a supportive boyfriend..as for their purpose, what is the purpose to anything that is mental illness related? Mental illness is a scary, lonely disease. And it attacks you over and over, much like these thoughts are going over and over, over and over. Do you have journal? Keep it with you everywhere you go and get these things on paper, away from your poor head. My thoughts are out of control too, with negative stuff too, so I feel for you. Let us know how you are doing.

[Lexicon78]

The thoughts have passed....thanks for your support.

Lexi