[__zh]

At what point have people become more aware of their depression causing them to think that everything people say or write is somehow about them?

What do you all do to combat this annoying type of thinking that can come along with the other distorted thoughts of depression?

We find ourselves looking at something and not thinking it applies to us or is directed at us until someone points out that it actually is...........rarely happens though as we're not that important in the scheme of things.....depressive thinking skews that reality entirely as the disease grabs hold and our ability for objective thought is gone.

The depressed mind is one that isn't well and the thoughts that plague the mind when in this state are often not based in reality.

When we were undermedicated or in between medication trials we'd be in a miserable state of feeling as if everything said that even had the slightest possibility of being negative was for certain being said about us. We'd read and feel as if people were directing their words at us especially when those words were harsh.

We felt like a magnet for all the world's woes and like the dumping ground for humanity.

Once we started sticking to the treatment plan of meds, therapy and lots of practice with books, worksheets, journals, etc. we noticed we weren't as impacted when someone said something negative.........we began to let it roll off our back as we realised our self centeredness and self absorption were symptoms of our depressive episodes.

How stupid it can feel once one isn't in the darkness but that doesn't change how easy it is to fall right back into that kind of thinking once one has spent years practicing turning the focus of the world to oneself.

How lucky we live in an age that has medications and therapies available to combat this diesase and these ways of thinking.

walker of darkness still on the path,
__zh

[Overcastbutclearing]

If only it were that simple....medications and therapies...
Ahh, I would be living large and loving life.
Alas, I am on meds,have a T...and still feel horrible!

[Miss_A]

Someone once said to me.

People are really thinking and worring about themselfs most of the time. Instead fo thinking about you.
I said that is sooo true!

[__zh]

sweetie we never mentioned simple we wish!!!!

It is a process and takes time. In another forum (abuse we think) we recently posted an exercise from a therapy group we were in a couple years back. It was helpful to be able to see what we wrote a year apart on the same topic.

We were able to see (looking back....which meant clawing our way through the grueling moments in order to live) how deeply depressed we were at one point and recognize that at this moment we are not feeling that same pain...we're not feeling that stiffling darkness or the crushing weight of needing life to end so that we didn't have to live in pain.

We NEVER thought that we'd be in a place to retrospectively ponder the course our depression has taken but here we are.

sj we wish like hell it was easier and didn't hurt so much. we have faith in you and for you as you are doing the work by going to T and taking the meds.

now it is that elusive time that needs to kick in and help lift the misery.

((sj)) keep on sorting..........we know it isn't easy and commend you for keeping at it.
__zh

[Overcastbutclearing]

I didn't mean to upset your post here...my perception is a bit off.
I thank you so much for your unconditional support...and caring..I am taking it to heart.
I don't have it shown too often in my life.

[__zh]

no worries sj..........we just hoped we hadn't written something stupid that implied the "get over it already" type of thing. heavens forbid!

we have been in the horrible hopeless pit of darkness before so we know that the possibility of feeling better exists. we are living proof.

we stand here along side you to remind you that you too will become living proof for others.

our hope is that by allowing this support into your heart you can begin to melt that death grip depression has on you that is leading you to desire out so badly.

no upset in a post about what we've done or are currently doing to stay alive against the diseases and disorders we face.

continued support dear. let's smash those distortions one by one!

a friend once told me that everyone stars in their own 'movie'. in al-anon, it is stressed that we aren't the center of the universe and that time, people are NOT giving us a single thought.

[__zh]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
fayerody said:
a friend once told me that everyone stars in their own 'movie'. in al-anon, it is stressed that we aren't the center of the universe and that time, people are NOT giving us a single thought.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> which reminds us of a great quote "projection belongs in a movie theater!"

what a blow to our fragile egos to find out we're not the center of the universe! Our minds are amazingly bizarre things and our thoughts even moreso.

Thank you for the input of how you've dealt with this quandary.

[seeker1950]

Yes, I have noticed that when I'm battling depression, I am very self-absorbed, tending to focus on it in my interractions with friends, family...I hate that!
Seeker

[Shaymus]

I think its perfectly reasonable for a person to believe they are the center of the universe since i post at this forum and am the center that it could easily be confused as themselves. The proximity is so close after all.

Honestly though i think this is a good point you make zh. I could stand to come to grips with it when im falling down into the darkness. It seems like such a simple truth yet when everything is horrible it seems totally impossible to believe.

After my father died when I was ten, I learned quickly that nothing would ever be about me. It was more about my mother's overall pain and sorrow and my brothers' addictions and crime sprees.

Lost and alone somewhere in the middle I longed for anything to be about me. I longed for love and attention. I felt ignored, deprived, unloved and abandoned.

My family had their own agenda and I was the tag along. I came to believe I was flawed and not worth it. My pain only added to theirs.

I knew it wasn't about me because I didn't matter.

[Overcastbutclearing]

((((Petunia)))
I may have different scenerios...but we share feelings that are identical.
I understand you in my own realm...and I know the pain.

{{{ SJ }}}

I am filled with both sorrow and comfort knowing we share such a connection.

I am honored that you shared your feelings.

Petunia

( Please forgive the hijack, __zh )

[Kismet]

this may be a stupid question--BUT---who is "we"?

How stupid it can feel once one isn't in the darkness but that doesn't change how easy it is to fall right back into that kind of thinking once one has spent years practicing turning the focus of the world to oneself.

This is why it is difficult to reach out. You risk that no one will reach back because they are so focused on that black spot. Even after the darkness lifts they are focused on their light, rejoicing in it, rightfully so.

So I fumble and stumble my way around somewhere in the grey shadows. Never sure if I should grab hold.

Petunia