Sunday Morning

I woke up today feeling extremely bad; I'm so afraid right now, about everything going on in my life that is looming over me. I wish I could just roll up into a ball & hide under the covers in bed or just hibernate for awhile--find some way to get rid of these feelings of fear, pain, sadness, & failure.

Even though I got lots of sleep last night, I'm still so tired. How am I supposed to start functioning at a job again tomorrow when I have so little energy? I'm always so foggy in my brain.

I'm feeling sick to my stomach have the day due to sinus drainage, my hips, foot, & one shoulder hurts all the time. Joint problems--why?

Yesterday, I had to go to an adoption event for a dog I'm fostering, and usually I enjoy such events. Yesterday, I felt like I was kind of underwater or something the entire time. I put up a good front--no one asked me what was wrong or why I was sad. Only my husband, who went with me, knew how I really felt inside.

Then I had to spend an hour on the phone with my mortgage company trying to get all my paperwork straightened out so that I don't lose my home. I had another person on the phone with me from a non-profit that helps people in my situation listening & she was amazed at how poorly my mortgage company handles things. I finally got everything done, then they call me again today hounding me for money!

I had two pet-sitting jobs yesterday, which I usually enjoy. I love animals. But I just went through the motions, not really feeling much of anything about it, nothing positive. Just dull.

Now, in less than 24 hours, I'm supposed to be at a new job. The idea makes me cry! I should be so happy to have finally found work...but I feel totally the opposite. Why? I don't get it.

I really just don't feel right anymore. I wish I felt more upbeat & positive for my husband's sake, he's trying so hard to understand & be supportive. I feel like such a failure.

Kim/Tangodream

Hi Tangodream. so sorry to hear you are having a hard time, congratulations on your new job and tackilng your mortgage company and straightening things out. You have done great be proud of yourself.....I so understand how you feel tho about the sadness and lack of energy and only hope that things can get better for you....I send you lots of (((((Peace))))) and ((((((energy))))) your way

Thanks for the feedback. The dang mortgage company called again today, claiming the loan on my house is in default. It appears one department of the mortgage company doesn't know what the other is doing. I'm not in default! I accpeted a payment plan that they offered me & send the first payment in yesterday! Yikes! I felt like crying when they called again this morning.

Kim

Tangodream