my old "friend"

slipping back down again, into this pool of apathetic sorrow. it's like coming home. you'd think i'd be so sick and scared and upset to find myself here, again after a thousand times before. i guess it's 'the devil you know' versus 'the devil you don't'. *shrug*

i haven't been sleeping. not all week. last night was the most sleep i got - 6 whole hours, after a week of 3-4 hour nights. to contrast, i normally need 9 to feel really good. at least 7 or 8 to squeak by. it's surprising i haven't gotten sick yet. my immune system is usually the first thing that goes when insomnia hits. *shrug* doesn't matter.

i wonder...
about things i shouldn't write about, here.
maybe i'm pretty tired of this depression, after all. but it's just... part of life, for me.

i do hate when people worry about me.
and i miss... that... 'happy' feeling. that... 'free' feeling.
meh. oh well.

sims is a great game for just tuning out. while i can maintain the interest in even doing that, anyway. anything you do, when you slip under?

Exactly.
If I slip under, I'm pretty much paralyzed. Usually, if I just move with my impulses -- and stay on my meds, I'm "OK." Unfortunately, my "OK" is not very functional. But, "not very functional" is better than the alternative.

The Sims - I've not played the game, but I can see where a non-traditional, open-ended, free-form game of that type could serve well to get one's mind off internal and external pressures.

Best wishes for getting better sleep, Lacer Vita!