I hate my life right now!

Well, I just got an email from my new job telling me that they have decided that they don't want me to come back to work for them next week! No reason why, just that they don't want me to come back. You know, I can't help it that I have tonsillitis & a sinus infection & fluid in my ears & that the doctor ordered me to bed rest for the remainder of the week! What the if**key, they couldn't even call me & tell me? They had to send a freaking email to tell me not to come back? Have people no guts anymore? Have people no kindness? No understanding? What has made the world such a cold place?

So I sent an email back asking why. I doubt they'll respond or they'll give some inane reason, not the truth. I think that at least some of the people there could sense my depression & my fear...but how much of it was due to being a lot sicker than I realized I was? Crap, yesterday my boss told me just to come in next week & everything would be fine! Now one of the owners emails me & tell me nope, we don't want you! What a bunch of crap.

You'd think they could wait, give me a chance to show them what I could do when I was feeling better, but no! Oh no, we can't do that! Making money is more important than anything else in this world I guess!

Plus I sent my foster dog off to her forever home. I was feeling bad enough due to that & being sick, then I check my email & get this.

I want to just cry right now but my 14 year old step-daughter is in the other room & she doesn't know about any of this. I'm really alone, can't tell anyone in the house. My husband isn't home from his job yet. Once again, I'm a failure. Once again, my actions result in me letting everyone down. I really don't think I can take much more of this crap.

You try & try & nothing good comes out of it. Why? I ask you, why? I blew it, I blew this job by getting sick. Once again my physical health kicks me in the ****ing teeth. Now what? I don't have any unemployment benefits left! I'm barely able to function through a day right now without wanting to just walk out of my life, someway, somehow.

I am so full of hurt & pain right now.

Kim

With or without all the other things, this I would find spirit-crushing by itself.

May your body recover quickly, and may these difficult feelings soon pass, Tangodream.

It could be worse, right? You WILL get a BETTER job now.

Just look on craigslist, job boards all of it even if you don't feel like it, just do it!

everything will be fine

I did look on the job boards, Craigslist, and notified all the temp agencies I'm listed with that I am available for work again. I can't stop living life...

It is never easy to part with a foster dog but I foster dogs so that they have another chance at life. I want to do some good! At least I can say I am successful at helping many poor, fuzzy souls have another chance at love & life! If nothing else, I have this.

Kim

Oh, Kim, I'm so sorry you're ill and feeling so alone and like a failure. I was leg go like that when I was sick, had Meniere's Disease and couldn't drive/work because of the dizziness.

I got over being laid off/fired from jobs, realized it wasn't just "me", that I wasn't a failure, I didn't fit what they wanted or needed but that was good information to know! I discovered I don't want to be around those sorts of people, people I don't get along with, who don't "get" me. Soon after I applied for a job and put a silly looking graphic on my resume, one that reminded me of "me" and made me smile. I decided that anyone who didn't "get" the graphic, wasn't someone I'd want to work with/for. Sure enough, I got a call from one of the best set of people/job I had had up until that time.

Turn your thinking around and realize that jobs literally work both ways; going on a job interview, I use to think only of whether I could get the job, I didn't think about whether I particularly "wanted" the job because the tasks and work was something I really thought I wanted to do at this time in my life, that it would help ME to have the job (nevermind about the company, that's their problem!). I use to have tunnel vision and see it as a competition instead of having my own plan for my life and seeking out what I wanted, stepping stones, and using the job I chose for my benefit. If you have your own plan ("I'll work in a job like "this" for 2 years and then I'll find a job like "the other" to learn this skill and then. . .") specific companies or job offerings aren't so important, the focus is different.

I hope you feel better soon and can get back doing more of what you decide you want to do. I really like this book for helping me decide what I want to do: http://wishcraft.com/

I had the same thing happen to me once. I have fibromyalgia and the doctor took me off work once for a week and my job let me go. I felt the same way you do. Just remember there are better jobs out there! Some people would love to have you!